The Personality Type That Has High Intelligence & The Most Loyal Friends, According To Psychologist
A smart personality type that easily attracts friends — is that you?
Getty We all know a loner. They tend to enjoy spending as much time on their own as they can. Of course, they do have friends. It's not that they dislike people. They just have less of a need for peer acceptance than most.
Often people with a loner personality type are very smart, have good friends, and a expect a higher standard for their friendships.
But still, many loners make the conscious decision to get plenty of time on their own. Why? According to Jonathan Cheek, a psychologist at Wellesley College, it's because they don't need acceptance.
"Some people simply have a low need for affiliation," said Cheek. "There's a big subdivision between the loner-by-preference and the enforced loner. Those who choose the living room over the ballroom may have inherited their temperament. Or a penchant for solitude could reflect a mix of innate tendencies and experiences such as not having many friends as a child or growing up in a family that values privacy."
"The definition of the word shy is, “being reserved or having or showing nervousness or timidity in the company of other people”.
Choosing solitude is different. It doesn’t come from a place of fear, or insecurity — it comes from a more selfish place. It is the feeling of ownership over your thoughts and stories," added author and self-proclaimed introvert Kaitlin Kaiser.
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Psychologists say loners are better at friendship and are more intelligent and loyal because they know what they want and won't compromise it for unsatisfying relationships.
Relationship coach Kira Asatryan explained, "Getting to know someone in a way that fosters closeness means coming to understand the person from their perspective. This is substantially different from how we usually 'know' people.
We tend to believe we know someone when we’ve interacted with them a lot and developed our theory of 'how they are.' But to create closeness, you must — above all else — understand how the individual sees themselves."
Of course, it's possible to be too much of a loner. Some loners close their borders, so to speak, because of anxiety. Some are pathologically shy. Some have had bad experiences as kids that have affected their personalities.
These types of loners tend to get butterflies around people. Social isolation can even be a health risk.
"Loneliness is like hunger and thirst — a signal to help your genes survive," said John Cacioppo, a psychologist at the University of Chicago. "When you're lonely, there's a stress response in your body, and it's not healthy to sustain that for a long time."
Of course, it takes all kinds, and loners tend to be smarter and have more loyal friends. If you have an outgoing friend who abruptly becomes a loner, that may be cause for concern.
Either way, it's best not to judge a book by its cover because most loners are probably smarter than average people.
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