3 Charming Ways To Hold A Man's Interest Forever, According To Psychology
Breathe through the stress and save your relationship without desperation.
Dean Drobot | Canva When the man you love seems to be distancing himself, it’s understandable to get caught in over-analyzing, worrying, and stressing about what’s going on in your relationship.
Does he still love me? Does this mean he's seeing someone else? Is he losing interest? Well, the truth is, he just may be drifting away and losing interest in you and your relationship. But now is the time to save your relationship and breathe through things instead of desperately figuring out how to get his attention back.
Here are 3 charming ways to hold a man's interest forever, according to psychology:
1. Give him space
You might think by giving him his space, you will lose him. Trying to win his attention and affection back when he’s pulling away only puts more pressure on him and yourself. It also increases the possibility of putting more distance between you and him possibly taking advantage of you.
During this time, you will feel confused, uncertain, and most likely a bit desperate. Trying to reel him back under these conditions won’t let you shine. If he's having doubts about you, the energy of desperation from trying to keep his interest confirms his doubts.
Be still and pay attention to his actions while giving him space. Don’t read into things because you may misinterpret what’s going on, as a study from Frontiers in Psychology helps explain. Without pressure, his true intentions will be revealed through what he does.
He may have realized how much he loves you — he may be scared, feeling overwhelmed, and coming to terms with this. It’s also possible he's thinking of leaving you, and if that happens, things weren’t meant to be.
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2. Focus on yourself
Your self-esteem may take a hit. An article explaining the relationship between uncertainty and affect published by Frontiers in Psychology suggests If this happens, work on building your self-worth reserve and getting to a place where you feel calm during uncertainty. Take care of things you have neglected, explore new interests, and get to where you feel OK with uncertainty.
When you feel OK again (i.e., no feelings of desperation, no negative energy), reflect on your relationship with him. Is he the right guy for you, or do you have doubts? If you could design your ideal relationship, would what you have with him truly be ideal?
Do you feel happy most of the time when you think of him or when you’re together? Or do the times of unhappiness outweigh the moments of happiness? Be honest with yourself, as you may find you are better off without him.
3. Let him come back to you
If you believe in your heart he's the right guy, let him come back to you.
Be your best self and respond to his actions accordingly, as supported by a review of studies in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. When he experiences the woman he fell for, this eases the doubts he has and may renew his interest. If he makes the effort, there's more desire for him to work through the issues that originally caused him to distance himself.
If you’re meant to be together, he will make his way back to you, and you won’t have to guess how he feels.
Whatever you do, don’t chase him. You should never have to chase, plead with, or beg a guy to come back to you. You're worth much more than that.
If he doesn’t realize your value on his own, he doesn’t deserve to be with you.
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Janet Ong Zimmerman is a dating and relationship coach, the founder of Love for Successful Women, and the creator of the Woo Course: 9 Juicy Ways to Bring Out a Man's Desire to Woo You. She helps successful women find the love they desire.