15 Deep Qualities That Make A Man Truly Memorable To Women, According To Psychology
Some men leave a lasting mark not with grand gestures, but with quiet depth.
Rui Silvestre | Unsplash The small but deep things you do for a woman are the ones that mean the most. Why? Because those are the things that show her you're willing to put the effort in for her, just because. No holiday or special occasion is needed.
A good boyfriend or husband knows that any man who waits until Valentine's Day to romance the woman in his life is missing the point 364 days out of the year. He also understands that while grand romantic gestures are great, the deep thought put into everyday activities is even better.
Here are the deep qualities that make a man truly memorable to women:
1. You remember her friends' names
She's told you about Susie at least 17 times since you've been together, so not referring to her as "You know, that girl with the weird eyebrows" will let her know that you pay attention when she speaks, especially about things that may not involve you directly. Plus, she will appreciate that you're making the effort to get to know her inner circle.
2. You clean up after yourself
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The cavemen out there have given all of us guys the unjust reputation of being complete slobs. There are three possible scenarios here:
A: You have your own place which she visits, in which case she will appreciate you keeping it clean.
B: You share a place, in which case she will really appreciate you keeping it clean.
C: She has her place and you spend time there, in which case you must help keep it clean. It's not that hard.
3. You tell her how you feel
Men are notorious for not being open and honest about their feelings, and just like you tell women you're not a mind-reader, neither are they. Even if it's something as small as the way your coworker made you feel at work, or a childhood memory you hold dear, she will appreciate you respecting her enough to open up to her.
Women are often more attracted to men who are open about their feelings, potentially because it signals vulnerability and emotional intelligence, traits that can be seen as attractive. Comfortable men expressing their emotions can be seen as more genuine and trustworthy, leading to increased attraction. Additionally, a study by the University of Southampton explained that the ability to articulate feelings can be perceived as a sign of maturity and self-awareness.
4. You don't pressure her into anything
Guilt trips are never cool, no matter how small the issue is. It means the world to her that you let her do things at her own speed, and never make her feel like she has to do something to make you happy.
5. You don't criticize her food choices
You refrain from saying things like "Are you really going to eat that?" or "Are you sure you want another drink?" Because you know that she is, and you don't need to make a comment on what she wishes to drink or eat. Plus, now she's going to order two because of your comment.
6. You don't take forever to respond to her text
You don't have to be completely glued to your phone, but you probably are anyway. If she texts you, at least have the courtesy to text her back in a reasonable amount of time. It will show her that she is a priority to you even when you're busy. It just takes a few seconds.
A 2019 study found that the perception of quick responses can be associated with higher perceived value and less effort, potentially leading to increased interest. This can be attributed to the principles of scarcity and the idea that if someone is readily available, they might be seen as less valuable.
7. You watch what she wants to watch
Maybe you couldn't care less about The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, but being in a relationship isn't always about only taking part in your interests, it's also about taking part in things that your partner enjoys, even if it's not your favorite. Plus, you will get bonus points and probably get to pick the next movie you go see.
8. You learn how to cook
If you don't already know how to cook, you can learn at least one or two dishes to make for her now and then. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, and women think it's attractive when you're in the kitchen!
9. You give her massages
She's had a long day. And even if she hasn't, why would any guy complain about this? It's an excuse to get physically close to her and make her feel relaxed. As if you needed an excuse for that, though.
A kind, thoughtful gesture like this goes a long way. Research suggests that women find men who are perceived as funny, confident, and sociable attractive, especially when they use humor in their messages.
However, overly flippant or direct messages can also backfire, leading to perceptions of unintelligence or untrustworthiness. Women may also be attracted to men who demonstrate emotional connection, such as a willingness to engage in deep conversations and share their emotions.
10. You continue to take her on dates
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It doesn't matter how long you've been together — you should never stop dating. Whether it is out to dinner or a night on the town, it is important to not let things get stale.
Give her a good reason to dress up and go out. Make her feel like a princess and you, her prince.
11. You consider her
Going out to grab a coffee? Getting up to get some water? Don't come back empty-handed.
Even though it's something tiny, she will appreciate your thoughtfulness. It shows that you aren't just thinking about yourself when running errands and that her needs are important.
12. You give her space
The only thing worse than a guy who doesn't give her enough attention is a guy who gives her too much attention.
Sometimes she just wants to read a book or watch a trashy TV show by herself. Respect her alone time, as it will allow her to rest and reset, and she will love you for it (especially if she doesn't have to ask).
Men who respect and provide personal space for their partners are seen as attractive because it reflects respect for individuality and independence, fostering a sense of appreciation and allowing for personal growth. A 2015 study explained that giving space also signals maturity and emotional maturity, indicating someone who can handle the ebb and flow of relationships and is comfortable with autonomy.
13. You listen without interjecting
Men are naturally problem-solvers. When we hear about an issue we are compelled to attempt to come up with a suggestion or solution. When a woman vents to you, that's not what she's looking for.
She wants you to simply listen and at least make an attempt to understand. She doesn't want you to give her the answer, but the support she needs to figure it out on her own.
14. You don't talk badly about your exes
Women understand that how you speak about those from your past is usually more of a reflection of you than it is of them. Someday, if your relationship ends, you are predicting to her how you're going to talk to your friends or your next girlfriend about her.
It is not very reassuring if all you have to say about your exes is something negative. Instead, remain neutral, or just don't talk about your exes at all.
15. You go shopping with her
Dude, it's Saturday, and you're not doing anything anyway. If she wants to go to the mall, just go with her — but be in good spirits about it.
I never understood why so many guys have a problem with this. You get to go and help her pick out clothing that makes her look nice, and then you get to see her wear it later on. It's a win-win. Just don't be a downer while you're there or it will do more harm than good.
A study by Cambridge University explained that it's generally understood that sharing activities, including shopping, can strengthen relationships and signify partnership. Men who actively participate in their partner's shopping outings might be perceived as supportive and engaged and less likely to be perceived as traditional or dismissive, which can be seen as positive.
James Michael Sama is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and personal development coach. He has become a go-to expert with outlets such as CNN, Bravo, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, CNBC, The Boston Globe, CBS, and more.
