5 Daily Habits Of Men Whose Wives Are Madly In Love With Them
The secret to winning your wife's heart, year after year.
Standret Natalia / shutterstock Despite everything you see on TV and read in books, it isn’t as hard as it seems to keep your wife happy and in love with you.
It turns out, it’s the little things that make a difference to most wives. The everyday signs of love that show her that she still matters, that she is still important to you.
Lots of men think their wives are a mystery, so they struggle with how to maintain the love and the passion. I know it might be hard to believe — but your wife is actually less mysterious than you might think.
All you need figure out are the little secrets that unlock the door to her heart to keep her loving you in a big way.
Here are five ways men inspire their wives to fall for them (again and again)
1. Giving hugs
So, be honest with yourself. How many times have you hugged your wife in the past week?
I mean really hugged her — for 10 seconds or more. I am guessing, if you are reading this article, perhaps not so many times? Well, it’s time to start!
A 10 second hug produces oxytocin, a ‘feel good’ hormone? Did you know that, if you hug your wife for 10 seconds, once a day, the oxytocin release will be as a result of your actions and your wife will love you for it?
Imagine if, at the beginning and/or end of your day, instead of walking out or into the house with a quick greeting, perhaps giving a quick peck on the cheek and moving on, you stop and hug your wife.
Imagine how good that would feel, for both of you. Imagine the look of love in her eyes as she steps back after the hug, oxytocin flowing through her veins.
If you are reading this article because you are trying to recover the love of your wife, then the idea of a hug might seem scary.
I know that when my husband and I were struggling, the last thing in the world that I wanted was a hug. He too knew it so he stayed away — that was not good.
I would encourage you to tell her that you heard how good a 10 second hug could be that you want to try it out with her.
I am guessing that, if you tell your wife why you want to try this, she will be on board. After all, she is probably missing loving you as well!
2. Anticipating her needs
I have so many young clients who complain that their boyfriends/husbands just can’t anticipate their needs like their friends can.
They explain how their friends can just look at them and know what they need instinctively and give it to them. Their partners, on the other hand, just can’t do that. And, my clients believe, that if their partners truly loved them, they would be able to do so.
When I hear this, I tell my clients that, if their husband/boyfriend can’t anticipate their needs, it has nothing to do with the quality or quantity of love that they feel for them. It has to do with the fact that anticipating the needs of a woman is something that they struggle to do. It’s just not natural for them.
I do believe, however, this is something that men can do, if they are aware that it is something that is important to their partner. How? By paying attention.
For example, I hate washing the dishes. My boyfriend recognized this a few years back and he stepped up and started to do the dishes. Now, when there are dishes in the sink, he cleans them.
Another example is a client of mine who loves to go for a really long run on Saturday morning. Every Saturday morning, she and her husband go through the routine of her asking him to watch the kids while she does.
She said that, if her husband didn’t make her ask every Saturday but that he offered the night before without her prompting, she would feel well and truly loved. He would anticipate her needs and she would feel loved and seen.
So, pay attention to what your wife might want, something that you can do without her having to ask.
3. Making time
Yes, I know that life is crazy.
Between work, chores, kids, extended family, and taking care of yourself, there is barely a moment in the day to spare. Something has to give and that thing that gives is usually quality time with one’s spouse.
Both men and women are guilty of this but, for women, the lack of quality time can erode a marriage quicker than it can for a man.
If you want to keep your wife madly in love with you, or get her to start madly loving you again, I would encourage you to make some time for her every single day!
It doesn’t have to be a lot of time — just some time that she knows is all about her.
I am convinced that cocktail hour was one of the biggest reasons that marriages lasted back in the day. For my grandparents, a nightly cocktail was a ritual. They would sit down at the end of the day and talk about their days and the kids and the gossip. They would then get up and go on with the night.
My grandparents did this until my grandfather died. In the end, as their memories faded, they talked about what happened during World War II instead of what had happened that but they did still talk. And they were married for 65 years!
So, where can you fit in a little bit of time each day for your wife?
Perhaps it’s a short walk after dinner? Some time on the couch after bedtime? Lunch together or a night out?
It doesn’t have to be a ton of time and it doesn’t have to be the same thing every day but if you and your wife can have some daily face time, it will keep you connected in a profound way.
4. Giving space
On the other side of giving quality time is giving space. Giving your wife the space and the freedom to live the life that she wants.
Many married couples find that their worlds get smaller when they get married. Where they used to have a busy social life, lots of time to embrace hobbies and plenty of time for themselves, with marriage comes making two lives one.
As a result, people tend to lose who they are as a person and only see themselves as part of a couple. If that couple is struggling, it can lead to some serious trouble.
If you can give your wife the space to maintain that relationship with herself, to get out in the world with her friends, to work hard to get that promotion, to take the time to take care of herself, she will love you for it.
Why? Because, even if you, as a couple, struggle (as we all do sometimes) if she can keep in touch with who she is as an individual she will be more able to manage the those difficult times.
5. Using their words
This final one can be really difficult for some people, especially for many men.
Women like, almost more than anything, to have someone tell them how they are feeling about them.
I don’t mean that you must be constantly declaring your love or repeatedly praising them for something they did well but to take time, every day, to notice and speak to the little things.
Every Monday, I make banana bread for my boyfriend. He gets a slice every day when he goes to the office. I have been doing it for years. He has probably eaten 1000 slices of banana bread over the course of our relationship.
And what does he do almost every time he eats that banana bread? He texts me and says that it is the best piece of banana bread, ever! And how does that make me feel? Great!
Not only is he appreciating the banana bread but he is telling me about it. He eats it and then takes the time to pick up his phone and let me know how much he loves it. And I love him for doing it! And I make him banana bread every Monday!
So, take the time, every day to notice and verbalize the small things. It will go a long towards making your wife madly love you!
I hope you see now that it’s the little things that make the difference, the small words and gestures that can keep a love strong.
This is not to say that flowers or a dinner date aren’t much appreciated but know that you can keep your wife’s love strong using these small daily habits.
You can do it!
Mitzi Bockmann is a certified life and relationship coach. She has over 10 years of experience in helping people find happiness in life and love.