Pregnant Mom Says Her 4-Year-Old Son Hurt A Baby At Preschool — 'We're Raising A Psychopath'
Now, his parents are trying to determine how serious of a problem this is.
Tomsickova Tatyana | Shutterstock All parents worry about their children. However, most worry that their precious kiddos will get hurt — not hurt others.
A pregnant mom was told that her 4-year-old son hurt a baby at preschool.
The concerned mother took to the r/Parenting subReddit to discuss a potential problem with her son and ask for advice.
“For context, my son just turned four, and I’m due a girl in November,” she wrote. “He knows and is very excited about being a big brother, to the point of wanting to give all babies he sees a cuddle.”
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There was one baby that he definitely didn’t give a cuddle to, though.
“At handover from preschool this evening, the teacher told me he went to a baby in the garden (the preschoolers and the babies in the nursery basically share a garden divided by a low wall) and dug his nails into the baby’s arm and covered the baby’s mouth to stop anybody from hearing the baby scream,” she recounted.
His mom and dad were shocked by this behavior. “I didn’t know my son was capable of this,” she admitted. “Like I wrote before, he loves babies.”
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“I asked him why and he just said, ‘Because …’ and then trailed off,” she continued. “We had a serious talk before dinner about how it’s a bad decision to do something like that, and he knows we’re disappointed in him. He recognized that he wouldn’t want someone to do that to him, so he shouldn’t do it to someone else.”
His parents are at a loss. “I just don’t know what else to do or say,” his mom said. “I worry about the safety of our baby coming in November, and my husband is worried we’re raising a psychopath.”
Commenters were mixed on the child’s behavior.
Some of the mom’s fellow Reddit users were less worried about her son’s behavior, chalking it up to normal conduct for a toddler.
"When my second child was born, the pediatrician said, 'The most dangerous thing in [our] house to an infant is a toddler,' one parent shared.
Another user attempted to bring some logic to the situation, writing, “Kids that age just have no idea how fragile babies actually are. They’re only beginning to learn that other people feel things like they do and that their actions have consequences. Empathy is just starting to emerge, so it’s common for toddlers to treat babies like dolls.”
However, not everyone felt that way — some were very worried about the toddler's actions, specifically that he covered the baby's mouth.
“I am going to say that he did know he was hurting her, and he didn’t want her to cry, which indicates he knew he was doing something wrong,” another person said. “I don’t think your kid is a monster but he needs to be watched closely around smaller children and animals going forward.”
Experts seem to think that the little boy’s actions are not a huge deal.
Experts from Baby Centre sided with Reddit commenters who saw nothing majorly wrong. Sophie Bell wrote about how sibling rivalry can manifest at very young ages.
“It can be tough for a child to welcome a new baby into their domain. You may notice that they cope with this difficulty by changing their behavior around a younger sibling,” Bell said.
“All children feel jealous of others at times, and toddlers find it hard to control their feelings,” she continued. “Don’t be surprised if your toddler hits or throws something at their new sibling … It’s not nice, but it is normal.”
As for this mother, she wants more answers from the preschool before passing any serious judgment. For example, why was it so easy for a toddler to gain access to a baby? She is also looking into a child psychologist for a second, more educated, opinion.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.