A Father Says His Child Benefits Claim Was Rejected Because Only Mothers Can Fill Out The Application
This dad is trying to be an active part of his daughter's life but says the system is working against him.
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock Despite the great strides our society has made in dispelling gender myths and stereotypes, there are many situations in which sexism still plays a role.
One man addressed that head-on when his application for his child to receive benefits was denied because he wasn’t the mother.
A father was told he couldn’t apply for child benefits because he was a man.
One father from Ireland shared the sexism he found to be running rampant in the government’s Child Benefit system when he submitted an application for his own child.
He shared the results on Reddit.
Reddit
The father built up to the gendered issue by revealing examples of how he is treated differently than his wife when it comes to parenting.
“Ever since we started school, I’m left out of WhatsApp groups, school notifications are only sent to my wife (even though we both signed up), public nurse only writes/calls my wife, etc.,” he shared.
“And now this,” he said. “Dads of Ireland, do you have similar issues?”
“I know that sexism is a real problem in the country,” he continued. “Women are ‘expected’ to handle everything that is childcare related, but I feel like this is systemic and fathers like me who want to pick up some duties and share the responsibility are pushed back.”
“Our claim to receive child benefits was rejected because I’m only the father of my daughter, and the mother should complete the application form!”
The rejection letter stated, “Under Child Benefit Regulations, where the child(ren) reside(s) with both parents, Child Benefit is paid to the mother. Therefore, the child(ren)’s mother/stepmother should complete the Child Benefit and HRC1 application forms enclosed and sign the Declaration.”
In the comments section, the father detailed his feelings further. “Some of us want to help out, we want to share responsibilities, we want to be there for our children and we are not allowed/ignored even when we ask for it,” he stated.
Women still take on the burden of childcare even though they have supposedly moved beyond such gender roles.
In the feminist world we live in, many people think women have achieved true equality with men or at least come very close. This is not entirely accurate.
According to the Pew Research Center, “Women most often are the ones who adjust their schedules and make compromises when the needs of children and other family members collide with work.”
Meanwhile, 16% of Pew Research Center’s survey respondents said that having a full-time job was “the ideal situation” for moms with young children. On the other hand, 70% said the same was true for dads.
Data from Gallup supported this mindset. Their poll showed that 50% of respondents said women were more likely to “care for children on [a] daily basis” in their household, compared to only 7% of men. 42% said both would do so equally.
Is society stopping men from being involved in their children’s lives?
While we look at this information and think it is sexist against women, is it not also sexist against men? Isn’t it sexist to believe that a man is incapable of caring for his child or just shouldn’t be doing so in the first place?
Other Redditors who shared their own experiences seemed to think so.
For example, one dad said, “I was a home dad years ago and had to get a PPS number for my son. The department I had to deal with point-blank refused to deal with me about it. They said the mother had to come in with the child. My missus had to take time off work to do my job. It felt demeaning as a dad.”
It’s absolutely not fair to assume that moms should do all of the work to care for their children and that dads should do none.
It's not fair to moms who are overwhelmed and underappreciated, and it's not fair to dads who are missing out on being active participants in their children's lives.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.