15 Things The Most Emotionally Resilient People Do To Feed Their Souls
How to take of your soul, and thus yourself.
Vitalii Khodzinskyi | Unsplash If you're experiencing any of these symptoms, it's time to start practicing the ultimate self-care plan, one day at a time. You can set time aside each day — whatever works for you is fine.
Remember, your ultimate self-care plan is a work in progress. You don't want to judge yourself. With a little practice, you'll soon be a pro at ultimate self-care.
Here are 15 things the most emotionally resilient people do to feed their souls
1. Developing a mindfulness practice
Mindfulness involves using deep breathing techniques and is good for your central nervous system.
Start with 10 minutes a day. Set up a time that will work for you and practice mindfulness at the same time each day, whether you feel stressed out or not.
2. Get adequate sleep and rest
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The recommendation is seven to nine hours of sleep per night. And it's true that you can get too much sleep.
Make sure the environment you sleep in is dark and quiet. You also don't want electronic devices nearby — they will keep you awake. Make sure they're shut down an hour before bed.
Sleep is essential. Our minds and bodies need it to recharge. If you aren't getting enough sleep, then you need to make sleep a priority. Your mind and body will thank you.
3. Surround yourself with positive people
Start by reviewing the people you are the closest to. Take a look at your top five people. Are they supportive? Are they positive and optimistic? Or are they negative?
The people around you have a direct effect on your emotional health. They should not be creating more stress in your life. They should be positive and supportive. If necessary, work at developing an adequate and appropriate support system.
Surrounding yourself with positive people can significantly benefit your well-being by boosting your mood, increasing resilience, enhancing your coping mechanisms, improving your self-esteem, and even positively impacting your physical health, as positive emotions tend to be contagious and can influence your outlook and behavior. According to a 2017 study, while surrounding yourself with positive people is beneficial, it's also essential to maintain diverse social connections to gain different perspectives.
4. Smile and have laughter in your life
Laughing is the best medicine. You can watch a comedy or a funny video. Be spontaneous and playful in your life.
Children are always making time for play. It's a priority in their life, so play should also be a priority in your life.
When was the last time you looked at your life through a child's eyes? It's easy to predict that something won't be fun or that you won't like someone. This is often based on negative experiences from the past.
5. Approach each day with a purpose
Start by outlining daily structure. Each step is important to reach your goal. No task is too small to feel good about.
This is where your inner critic can get in the way. Learn to be kind to yourself with your inner voice. Remember, small steps lead to big steps.
6. Start writing in a journal
Instead of keeping thoughts and feelings inside where they can build up and cause confusion and emotional distress, get them out on paper. You can use a journal to keep track of relationship issues, health, and emotional functioning.
After a while, make sure to look back at what you wrote. This will give a good measurement for how you were feeling, also take note of your environment. Did it play a role in your emotions?
A 2022 review explained that expressive writing can provide a range of benefits, including reduced stress, improved emotional regulation, better coping mechanisms, decreased symptoms of depression and anxiety, and increased self-awareness. This is especially true when writing about personal experiences and difficult emotions. Depending on individual needs, journaling can focus on gratitude, goal setting, positive affirmations, or specific challenging situations.
7. Avoid being self-critical
Be kind to yourself — there are always choices. This will prevent you from feeling trapped and help you to feel optimistic about the future.
Use positive self-talk to feel better about yourself and your choices. When you practice this daily, you'll require your brain. Remember, the brain is a muscle and it needs to be conditioned.
8. Feed your body nutritious foods
Studies have found that food affects your mood. Stay away from fast food and foods that are high in sugar. Neither has many nutrients that are good for you.
Eat plenty of green, leafy vegetables and fruit. They are good as a meal or for a snack.
Eat lean protein and make sure to add some good fats to your meal plan, such as olive oil or avocados. This will help you feel full. Have some carbohydrates and stick with wheat rather than white bread.
9. Take responsibility for your own life
Take time to listen to your inner voice and learn how you were wired. Children are wired to please their parents, but you don't have to carry that into adulthood.
Ask yourself, "Who do you want to please?" Take note of your answers.
Are you prone to pleasing others? If the answer is "yes," then ask yourself why? Is there a cost to your own mental or physical health? If you answered "yes," then you're letting others control you.
Remember, life is about choices. You can make the best choice for yourself.
Taking responsibility for one's life has several positive outcomes, including increased self-esteem, a greater sense of control, improved motivation, stronger relationships, enhanced resilience, and a clearer understanding of purpose. This is mainly due to the feeling of agency and autonomy associated with accountability. A 2021 analysis found that individuals with an internal locus of control report higher levels of happiness and well-being than those with an external locus of control.
10. Feed your spirit
This doesn't mean being religious — it means learning to reconnect with yourself. If you're like many, you're doing things for others — it's how you experience validation.
When you start feeding your spirit, you'll feel the emotional benefits and decrease emotional fatigue from taking care of everyone else.
11. Declutter your space
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When you live in a space filled with clutter, your mind will feel cluttered, causing you to feel overwhelmed. It should be easy to find things in your home.
This doesn't mean shove everything into a closet. If you aren't using something, then you need to get rid of it.
As you are clearing the space you live in, take note of how it affects your emotional health. You should feel the difference.
12. Spend a little money on yourself
You buy things for your children, your partner, and your home. When was the last time you bought yourself something just because you wanted it? You didn't necessarily need it, but you just wanted it.
Maybe that dress or necklace makes you feel pretty. Or a day at the spa, away from home, makes you feel amazing.
The effects of spending a little money on yourself can go a long way. You don't always need to be so frugal.
Spending a small amount of money on yourself can be beneficial to purchase experiences that align with your interests and values. This can boost your mood and self-esteem, particularly compared to buying material goods. However, a 2024 Nature study showed that spending money on others generally leads to greater happiness than spending it on yourself.
13. Set healthy boundaries for yourself
Stop saying "yes" when you mean "no." This will cause feelings of resentment. You won't feel happy for others and their accomplishments when you don't have healthy boundaries.
You also won't feel good about yourself and your own accomplishments.
When you set boundaries, you will feel happy in your life, even when your accomplishments are small.
14. Develop a healthy exercise program
This doesn't mean you need to do extreme exercise or work out three hours a day. You can go for a 20-minute walk or to a yoga class.
Exercise should be fun, so make sure you participate in activities you enjoy. Exercise outdoors and get vitamin D from natural sunlight. Also, exercise releases endorphins.
15. Take yourself out on a date
Whether you're in a relationship or not, it's important to take yourself out. Take yourself to that new restaurant that you've been dying to try. Or, go to that new movie theatre that you thought was too expensive.
Treat yourself the way you would treat your best friend. Buy yourself that expensive glass of Champagne or wine. Spend time outdoors, or go wine tasting.
Just be good to yourself. Don't worry about what others are thinking or saying, worry about treating yourself well.
Having a little alone time might be just what the doctor ordered. Make sure you take the time to get ready to take yourself out. Treat it as if your sweetheart were taking you out on your first date.
By starting your ultimate self-care plan, you're making an investment in your emotional and physical health. You don't always have to go at full speed or be around people who are telling you that.
Take time to stop and smell the roses. Your mind and body will thank you for it.
Solo dating can provide many benefits, including increased self-awareness, improved self-esteem, an enhanced sense of independence, and a boost in overall well-being. It facilitates self-care and personal reflection, allowing individuals to prioritize their needs and desires without external influence. A 2019 clinical trial found that by fostering a strong sense of self, solo dating can improve the dynamics of other relationships as people become more comfortable with their needs and boundaries.
Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. She is dedicated to helping couples and has completed Levels 1, 2, and 3 at The Gottman Institute.