How Passion Can Harm Your Love Life

A recent CNN article claims that following your passion is bad advice when it comes to your career. The same is true for love.

Passion is great. I would argue it's a requirement in a relationship. Who wants to be with someone who is just plain vanilla? You need some spice. But, when you allow chemistry to be the deciding factor in a relationship, you end up miserable. Here are three reasons why:

1. Passion makes you crazy. That initial honeymoon period when you first start dating someone is a self induced form of insanity. Think about the last time you fell in love. You could think of nothing else but spending time with that person. You didn't need to eat or sleep.

Remember all those late night conversations that lasted until the early hours of the morning and then you went to work the next day like you got a great nights sleep? You were actually high on love. From a scientific standpoint, it is the equivalent to being high on cocaine.

People on drugs don't make good decisions and neither do people in love. You are actually out of your mind in the first few months of a relationship. Therefore, you are completely incapable of making sound decisions. 3 Steps To Spice Up Your Long-Term Relationship

Sure, it is fun and exciting because you're high. What's not fun about that? But, because you aren't thinking straight, you might miss or simply ignore so major red flags. When you come out of your dopamine induced haze in six months, you will wonder what the heck you were thinking. Well, you weren't thinking so that pretty much explains it.

2. You lose sight of what's important. If you're looking for a stable long term relationship, there are other important qualities, in addition to passion, that you need to consider when choosing your mate. If you are caught up in the excitement of your newly budding relationship, you can easily lose sight of what is really important. 13 Passionate Habits That Magnetically Draw A Disconnected Spouse Back To Their Marriage

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You won't care if he is mature and responsible or if he would make a good father. His unpaid taxes and recent bankruptcy are irrelevant while you are between the sheets. Chemistry shouldn't be the only thing you have in common.

You need to develop good communication with your partner. It is difficult to do that if your entire relationship is based on sex. As you probably already know, the heat of the moment is never the time to have a serious conversation.

3. You can become addicted. The first few months of a relationship are always the most fun and exciting. But, much like an ecstasy induced drug trip, that feeling eventually wears off. If there's nothing else substantiating your relationship besides that passion high, you will be left jonesing for your next fix like a crack addict. When the honeymoon period of your relationship wears off and you can see clearly, you might be disappointed with your partner.

Maybe they are not as smart or attractive as you once thought. All of those cute little quirks you found so endearing suddenly become irritating. Bottom line, you will be dissatisfied and you will start looking elsewhere to recapture that faded euphoria.

Ultimately, following your passion when it comes to a relationship is only going to leave you unhappy and unfulfilled. If you are looking for a meaningful and committed relationship then focus on important qualities like communication, long term goals and overall compatibility. Chemistry shouldn't be the basis of your relationship because it is fleeting. "We Have No Chemistry": What Does He Mean?

If you allow passion to be the dominant force in your relationships, you will end up bouncing from one short term relationship to the next in search of your next high. You may become a serial monogamist, who is incapable of maintaining a long term meaningful relationship because you are constantly chasing that high. Simply put, in the words of Robert Palmer, you might as well face it you're addicted to love.