13 Passionate Habits That Magnetically Draw A Disconnected Spouse Back To Their Marriage
How to have the most passionate, fulfilling love life possible.
Africa images | Canva To be touched is one thing. To feel the passion of a lover's touch is something else. It means surrendering to the relationship, hungering for love, and igniting an inner flame.
To feel passion is to experience no pain. But passion is only possible when lovers connect to their own wells of love within. Only then can they connect and spark together.
Here are 13 passionate habits that magnetically draw a disconnected spouse back into their marriage:
1. Take care of your past, suppressed darkness, and the wounds of abandoned love
I have worked with many women and some men who tell me that they don't feel a connection to themselves or that it feels dead or shut down.
I have also been in this place and realized my sensuality was still connected with a past experience or past lover. Self-worth and your connection to self-love play a big part in your sensuality.
When you have unresolved issues or suppressed emotions, it's hard to feel the connection to your open heart. It creates a barrier or lack of desire to be intimate with someone. You might have left it with a past relationship.
2. Fill your own void and strengthen your own worth
Believe in yourself and the love that is yours. Open your eyes and your heart to the freedom of spirit and see yourself as you look into your lover's eyes.
Feel your love when you are open to your heart. Listen to the language of the divine, heavenly passion in the breath of each other. Take the time to lift your vibration each day to live this beloved experience with your partner.
3. Be passionate all-day
This can mean holding, touching, complimenting, and/or looking at each other with the eyes of love, and it doesn't have to start in the bedroom.
Pexels / Денис Нагайцев
Studies have found that couples who touch each other more tend to be happier.
Allow your soul to speak as you move, keeping your heart open. Duty will never be comfortable and faking it will always be felt. Create a safe place within each other’s hearts.
4. Spark the relationship with romance
Share time, massages and re-express your commitment to one another and you will vibrate with the passion you ignite.
The heart cannot inspire intimate energy if the heart is in fear or self-doubt. Hold the space for each other to move into safe love. Invite desire with honesty, respect, tenderness, caring, sensitivity, and kindness.
5. Have an open heart
This creates a safe place for passion. The open heart. Having an open heart will create the space for passion to fill your life and your heart. This means having love within and being in love, but it doesn't happen unless you are open to everything.
How do we get there? For some, books and movies create this yearning. Many people have never experienced it in their lives because they have not taken care of it for themselves.
In the beloved relationship, it takes two, both being in the same place or inspiring each other.
6. Imagine the orange
Passion with the beloved is like a juicy orange. Two hands unfold the orange peel as its juices tempt you to experience the pleasure.
When I think about the passionate, sensual experience with my husband Bruce, I see a vision of this juicy orange.
I peel the thick, protective skin, exposing a transparent skin that is so light and tender, that the juices burst from the seedless flesh. The explosion of the sweet nectar of love tastes clear and full of flavor.
The metaphor of the juicy orange helps illustrate the experience of safe, transparent love and passion intimately shared when the outer skin of protection and the open hearts between us ignite the flow of passion taking us to divine union.
7. Fall in love, over and over again
Each stage of our self-growth and aging process brings us to new levels of acceptance of personal and physical changes. Every stage is an opportunity to fall in love with ourselves again.
Our bodies take us through change and our emotions take us into acceptance. How can we create a comfortable relationship of intimacy?
Creating the warmth in our skin and the safety as we melt into it is like being embraced in a warm bed by an electric blanket with a range of controls from low to high.
We need to take care of the block that stops the energy that warms us and creates comfort.
8. Feel yourself wrapped in your own arms
Only then will you possess the power to switch on the inner furnace of love. Self-love is fueled by our desire to explode in every cell of our bodies and share it with another.
For two people to join together with this fire, without being needy or manipulated, is wonderful. As you feel the intensity of the openness that creates this heavenly place of inner happiness, feel each other’s highest vibration and hear the sounds of peace embraced with trust and loyalty.
Nothing else at this moment exists outside the fire of connection and conviction of the heart. From this place, ultimate divine love is inspired and felt in the rapture of unconditional love.
9. Create a safe place within yourself
My experience is that I cannot be in love when I am shut down. I cannot make love if my heart is closed or if I am thinking about the past or worrying about the future.
It is so wonderful to have a partner who holds you in their arms as you share issues and talk about how you’re feeling. Start by creating the safeness in you and inspire the relationship.
Commit to the one who is showing up and feel your love with him or her. Get to know this person intimately because you have taken the time to get to know yourself.
Inspire her or him. Be the example of the connection to self-love. They might never have had the safety or experience to know how to be there.
You won’t know how to be there either if you don’t practice your connection to loving yourself. Be truthful with your feelings and prepare yourself. Fall in love inside yourself.
10. Don't fake it
Once we move into the rhythm of our heartbeat and feel the pleasure of the ultimate experience of union, this fullness will help release any tightness or holding back of the heart. Don't fake it.
If you cannot open yourself fully, don't pretend. Pretending only creates an experience that is not truthful. We have all been hurt and we all have fears, but a healthy, intimate union can continue to be healthy as long as each person takes care of their suppressed emotions.
Supporting one another is not taking care of each other or fixing. Support is holding the space so that the safe passage through issues can result in an open, loving heart.
Support is one of the most important parts of any relationship, according to a Harvard Study of Adult Development. It allows us to have happier and healthier relationships with others and ourselves and can lead to happier lives.
11. Be brave
Everyone is searching for love and many move from person to person because the ignition dies and they blame the other one when issues come up.
The experience of intimate ignition brings up the life force, which will move us into our hearts to feel. If we are not prepared to go to our suppressed emotions, the experience can become overwhelming, and we may want to run and hide. Be brave and stay to feel. You are worthy of love!
12. Be mindful of neediness
Many people do not know about love until they are in love. In this place, they feel their heart. This can create a need to find it wherever they can because it feels good.
Many men and women who are needy for love, take it in whatever way it's given to them. In one moment of ecstasy, they feel their open heart and it feeds them and becomes an addiction.
Needy love and intimacy can become an addiction because it may be the only place where we feel our passion or openness.
Once you create the openness, safeness, and passion that your life force can create, your sensuality and passion can always run through you.
This energy is your fire as well as your passion for life that can keep you connected to your highest vibration. The power of your life force can give you strength and self-worth to overcome anything.
13. Have faith
How we live in love is the love we know for ourselves. We are meant to have this every day of our life, not just a drop, or a notion of it. Love is vast and there is enough for all of us, not just for the chosen few.
We are the ones who choose. We are the ones who have the power to choose it for ourselves, attract it, and live in love with another. I am told by some that it is rare.
This is often the perception because people aren’t aware. As more couples emerge into the beloved love to inspire the world, two by two, and inspire our children about healthy love, we can all become dancers with each other.
Step by step, we will suddenly be a chorus line with beautiful music, and the stage of our own world will expand with others.
When you look at your beloved and know that you feel him in and around you, even when there is distance, he or she is in your heart, and under your skin. Even if you close your eyes, you know that he or she is there.
You can feel the caress of their essence touching every cell of your being with gentle soft love. Regardless of where you are in a day, you can stop and feel that commitment and safety of each other.
Your loneliness doesn’t exist anymore because you have already realized you are never alone. This place that exists within you is also in your beloved. When the time comes when you can physically touch one another, the joy catches fire in your heart and the gentleness takes you home inside you.
Colleen Hoffman Smith is an author, facilitator, and developer of The Inner Workout Program.