7 Social Skills The Most Charismatic People Have Perfected, According To Pyschology
Have a conversation and get close to anyone.
Kar-Tr | Canva Learning how to be likable can drastically improve your way of living. The social skills that you adopt and the way you behave can affect the type of people that gravitate towards you.
Possessing that coveted skill of likeability can attract like-minded individuals who will see you as someone they can depend on. So how can you embody these traits yourself, all while being genuine and not manipulative?
Here are 7 social skills the most charismatic people have perfected
1. Smile at others
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A simple smile can immediately alter someone’s day. It’s an easy way to come off as someone who is warm and inviting. By radiating positive energy, people will flock to you and imitate the energy you are giving out, giving you a more likeable and charismatic personality.
“Smiling is contagious and spreads goodwill. When you smile at people you lift their spirits and your own,” says YourTango expert Ronnie Ann Ryan, a love & cosmic coach.
It’s an easy tip that almost everyone can start implementing into their daily routine.
2. Be engaged in conversation
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When having a conversation with another person, make you sure to give them your undivided attention. That means don’t have your phone in your hand, because it can serve as a disruption and will immediately alert the other person that you don’t particularly care to listen to them.
Actively listening to the other person can automatically make them feel good to know that you are paying attention to whatever they are saying. Also, maintaining good eye contact as well can immediately form a good relationship.
Engaging in a conversation involves actively listening, showing genuine interest through nonverbal cues like eye contact and nodding, responding appropriately to the other person's points, and contributing relevant information. These actions contribute to building rapport, trust, and positive social connections.
A 2023 study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that individuals often underestimate the ideal balance between talking and listening during first interactions. The study revealed two psychological effects, the reticence bias and the halo ignorance effect, that fuel these conversational misjudgments.
3. Don’t judge other people
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To become a likeable person, you need to understand people’s motivations to do certain things. It can help you connect with them and understand their point of view better.
It’s not good to walk into a situation with preconceived ideas and judgmental attitudes. Try not to insert your own opinions and simply just listen. This shows that you’re a genuine person and have meaningful intentions.
When you do this, you’re also validating their feelings and coming off as someone who is empathetic and reasonable.
4. Be authentic and confident
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Showing the good parts of yourself can immediately attract people who want that kind of energy in their own lives.
“When you know who you are and what you are worth and inspire others to know themselves and their worth, that is charisma,” says YourTango expert Keya Murthy, a clinical hypnotherapist and spiritual life coach.
People are drawn to others who are confident in their own personalities and can bring positivity into their own social circle. Having authentic intentions and genuinely wanting the best for the people around you makes you a likable person.
Authenticity and confidence are key components of charisma. They allow individuals to appear genuine, believable, and capable, attracting and influencing others and making them more likely to be perceived as charismatic.
A study published in the Leadership Quarterly found that people are drawn to those who seem authentic to themselves and believe strongly in their abilities. While confidence is crucial, excessive arrogance can detract from authenticity and make someone appear less charismatic.
5. Remember people’s names — and use them
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This might seem pretty minuscule, but the best feeling in the world is when you tell someone your name and they not only remember it, but actively use it in conversations.
It shows that you were initially engaged with that person in the first initial meeting, and that you paid enough attention to memorize their name. It can make a person feel good and want to continue hanging around you and connecting with you.
6. Ask deeper questions
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If you’re looking to connect with people and form deeper friendships, skipping the small talk and asking deeper, more open-ended questions can be the trick. It helps eliminate the awkwardness in the beginning while also getting to know what shared interests you might have with someone else.
Of course, you don’t want to go too deep to where you can create an uncomfortable situation, so it also helps to read the body language of the other person and see which topics are appropriate to bring up and which are not. That can also show attentiveness and the fact that you genuinely care to not create an environment that can make the other person feel out of place.
Asking more profound questions, especially follow-up questions that demonstrate genuine interest and active listening, significantly increases a person's perceived likability and charisma. This signals responsiveness and a desire to understand the other person on a deeper level. Studies, including those from Harvard University, have shown that people asking more questions during a conversation are generally perceived as likable and engaging by their conversation partners.
7. Stick to your word
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To find that balance between having good intentions or bad intentions is to make sure that you are always keeping your word and your promises.
When you say something, make sure that you mean it and follow through with it. If you make a mistake, own up to it, and create the steps necessary to educate yourself to make sure you don’t ever make that mistake again.
People are only human and are definitely not perfect by any means, but showing that first initiative and being honest with the people around you as well as yourself can go a long way in creating the impression that you are a likeable and charismatic person.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.