10 Signs Of A Genuinely Kind Person That Can't Be Faked
Real kindness is always authentic.
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock It's one thing to be nice to people on a superficial level, and it's something else altogether to exhibit true and genuine kindness.
The signs of a genuinely kind person that can't be faked come from deep within and reflect how someone sees their place in the world. Their sense of kindness relies on respect, both for themselves and for other people.
You'll know when you meet someone who's genuinely kind because they project a sense of calmness and benevolence. Being in the presence of a genuinely kind person makes you feel better about yourself, because they see who you really are and accept you as such.
Here are 10 signs of a genuinely kind person that can't be faked
1. They offer help without expectations
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One aspect of a genuinely kind person that can't be faked is that they help other people without any expectations.
They'll give you a ride to the airport or pick up groceries when you're sick, and they don't ask for anything in return. They believe in performing random acts of kindness because they know that doing so is part of contributing to their community.
According to research published by the American Psychological Association, the act of helping others is beneficial to people's health and well-being. Prosocial behavior can be defined as "observable actions that benefit others regardless of whether there are costs to the helper or issues such as self-sacrifice." People who take part in prosocial behavior are happier and healthier than those who don't.
Researchers from the University of Hong Kong discovered a stronger correlation between performing acts of kindness and eudaimonic well-being, which focuses on finding one's purpose and realizing one's potential, than between kindness and hedonic well-being, which is connected to happiness and positive feelings.
A genuinely kind person is self-actualized in a way where they understand that being kind helps others just as much as it helps them find their purpose and place in the world.
2. They're not judgmental
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Kristen Jacobsen, known as "The Anxiety Therapist," explained the psychology of being judgmental. She noted that being judgmental can impact people's ability to form strong social connections.
"Insecurity is a major factor in why we judge others," Jacobsen said. "If we don't feel completely secure in our worth, it can lead us to criticize others as a way to sort of boost our self-esteem." She described this form of judgment as "A shield that's an attempt to guard you against your own self-doubt."
"Psychologically, this is referred to as 'projection,'" she continued. "This ongoing comparison can really spiral into anxiety when we use others as a benchmark for our value."
Yet someone who's genuinely kind steers away from judging themselves based on other people's accomplishments, which allows them to show up for others in a way that's wholeheartedly open and accepting.
3. They're consistently compassionate
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Another sign of a genuinely kind person that can't be faked is their commitment to being compassionate, no matter what. They treat themselves with kindness and understanding, and that level of self-compassion ripples out so they see other people in the best light possible.
If a friend is going through a hard time, a genuinely kind person will urge them to sit with their more difficult feelings and be gentle with themselves. Their consistent compassion comes from their own sense of self-worth and their belief that everyone holds inherent value.
Genuine kindness goes beyond just saying nice things; it also involves showing up for people when they're at their lowest lows and holding space for them.
4. They value other people's perspectives
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An essential part of being a genuinely kind person that can't be faked comes down to how they see other people's perspectives.
Even if they disagree with someone's values, they still show them a basic modicum of respect. They understand that everyone's individual life experience is different from the next person's, and they don't measure others based on their own beliefs.
They display extreme open-mindedness, in that they're willing to listen to other people's views and try to see where they're coming from. Their kindness is rooted in the idea that everyone has the right to live by their own morals, as long as those beliefs aren't causing active harm to others.
5. They're reliable
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A genuinely kind person is trustworthy and reliable. They don't make promises that they can't keep, yet they always follow through on what they say they'll do. Their reliability shows itself in small ways, like sending school supplies to their kid's classroom as they said they would. They're also reliable in the big picture, too.
They respect other people, which is where their sense of integrity comes from. They don't show up late or ditch the plans they've made because some other opportunity presented itself to them. They commit to the people they care about and show up for them as needed.
6. They're willing to apologize
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A sign of a genuinely kind person that can't be faked is their willingness to hold themselves accountable when they've hurt someone else and apologize in a truly meaningful way.
According to Shelby Riley, a licensed marriage and family therapist, "An apology is an effective communication tool for health and healing. It has the power to soothe and validate your partner's reality, to repair the hurt your mistake caused, and to hold you accountable so that you are far less likely to make the same mistake again."
Riley offered guidance on how to offer a true apology, noting that doing requires naming your mistake, acknowledging that it wasn't okay without giving excuses or explanations, and stating how your actions impacted the other person.
Riley also explained that giving a true apology requires you to commit to not repeating the mistake, forming a plan for what you'll do differently next time, and then, asking for forgiveness, without the expectation that it will be automatically granted.
"Loving yourself and others means making sure you say you're sorry," Riley concluded, and a genuinely kind person takes that statement to heart.
7. They show grace under pressure
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A genuinely kind person keeps up their kindness, even in high-stress situations.
If they're working on a team project at work where the stakes are high, they keep their cool and show that they value their co-workers' well-being over anything else. They don't use external pressures as an excuse to be cruel, which shows just how much they care about other people's well-being.
They're continuously kind and display graciousness, even when their emotions are on high. They have the tools they need to emotionally regulate themselves, which allows them to keep calm and be available for the people around them.
8. They uplift others
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Genuine kindness means more than just showing up for people at their lowest points; it also means being there when they win. A genuinely kind person will celebrate other people's achievements without any hesitation, because they know that one person's success is everyone's success.
They have a positive attitude and they truly want to see the people around them live their best lives. They don't compare what they have to what anyone else has, which is what allows them to uplift others in a completely genuine way.
9. They tell the truth
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Another sign of a genuinely kind person that can't be faked is that they base their relationships on honesty. They tell the truth with care, because they don't want to cause unnecessary harm. They refuse to lie or be dishonest, even about small things that don't seem to matter.
They know that not being truthful only leads to more hurt down the road, so they say what needs to be said, but they do so in an incredibly kind way. They're the friend you rely on to give you straightforward guidance, because you know they won't steer you wrong.
10. They consider other people's needs
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A genuinely kind person is considerate to their core. They take other people's needs into account and base their actions off what's best for everyone. They set clear boundaries that allow them to care for themselves and for others in equal measure.
They don't neglect their own needs in order to serve other people, but they think about how their behavior impacts the people around them. They lead with kindness, both for themselves and for the people they care about.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.