12 Traits Only Found In Truly Likable People
Embodying these traits not only lead to better connections, but more genuine authenticity.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock While having a good personality or a kind heart is generally associated with a person's likability, there's much more to garnering positive social connection and a positive collective perception than those traits. According to a study published in the Journal of Research in Personality, there's a sleuth of communication, social, and emotional traits only found in truly likable people that aren't just rare, but challenging to learn.
From mirroring other people's behaviors to being genuinely authentic, mastering the art of being likable isn't just an external game amid conversations and passing interactions, but a manifestation of a person's internal comfortability and confidence.
Here are 12 traits only found in truly likable people
1. They're confident others will like them
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According to a study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, people who enter into conversations believing that others will like and approve of them generally are more likable than those who don't. Of course, when we're less anxious about external validation and other people's opinions, we're generally more welcoming and kind, making it easier to make connections with perfect strangers.
Take this as a reminder that trying to force a "likable" facade based on preconceived notions about what other people will like is always more uncomfortable than being your authentic and genuine self. Who wants someone to approve of an uncomfortable and rigid version of themselves, rather than the real thing?
2. They ask genuine questions
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While the most likable people are unconcerned with other people's opinions and judgments of them, there's no denying that being liked by others has a profound impact on their lives — from their workplaces environments, to making new friends, and building healthy relationships. While it seems like a huge obstacle to be liked, there's a few subtle traits only found in truly likable people that aren't necessarily challenging to embody, like asking genuine questions.
A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology argues that asking other people questions and following up with others "dramatically" improves likability, rather than only speaking about yourself, your experiences, and personal interests. This basic interpersonal conversation tactic both increases responsiveness and contributes to feelings of mutual understanding and respect, helping everyone to feel heard and appreciated.
3. They're active listeners
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Not only does research suggest active listeners perform as better leaders in the workplace, they're also better at making genuine connections in their personal lives as well.
With a balance of nonverbal cues, like eye contact and open body language, and verbal communication skills like pointed questions and expressing shared experiences, the most likable people have perfected the art of effectively communicating with other people.
4. They celebrate other people's success
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While insecure mindsets sabotage us into thinking there's a scarcity of success in the world, the truth is that there's plenty to go around for everyone. Celebrating other people's success and giving people their flowers is one of the key traits only found in truly likable people, because it ensures everyone they interact with feels important and special.
When we speak highly of others, the people we interact with inadvertently associate that positivity with us, according to a study published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. By sharing and spreading good vibes and celebratory congratulations with others, we selflessly ensure they feel important, but also contribute to positive perceptions of us in the world.
5. They remember names
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People really appreciate being remembered and valued, according to the Social Skills Center, and being able to put a face to a name is the first step in sparking those positive feelings. You're not just addressing them by name in a powerful way, but you're subconsciously conveying a sense of value to them, making a positive first impression before you even start a discussion.
6. They give out sincere compliments
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According to psychology expert Anthony Jack, giving out compliments not only boosts your happiness, physical health, and emotional well-being, it also has the power to strengthen your interpersonal relationships and new connections.
By spreading gratitude and positive energy, engaging in small acts of kindness, and passing out compliments, you not only expand your curiosity of the world, but broaden your awareness of the people around you. Positivity is contagious, even if it's caught up in a passing compliment that makes someone else smile and feel more valued.
7. They live in the present moment
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A study published in Mindfulness suggests that people who live in the present moment, fueled by introspective practices and a tendency to savor experiences, tend to boast higher levels of happiness, psychological well-being, and positive emotional health. Not only are they more in tune with their own emotions and needs, they're intuitive about the people around them as well.
With a knack for reading the room and helping people to feel more valued in conversations, they not only make friends easier, but spark foundations for deeper relationships and connections that boast their general well-being and confidence.
8. They're empathetic
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According to experts at Lesley University, empathetic people are more liked by others because they possess a unique ability to understand other people and make them feel heard, appreciated, and valued in conversations. Not only do they lead with compassion and kindness, they make space for more difficult emotions and conversations in a welcoming manner.
Perceived as more supportive and kind by others, they harness positive social connection in a powerful way, helping their communication skills, relationships, and personal identity to flourish.
9. They have unique passions and interests
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Our personalities, general mood, emotional health, and identity are largely influenced by how we choose to spend our personal time and invest into ourselves. With rich interests and unique hobbies, the most likable people tend to invest into themselves without anxiety or fear.
Leveraging the benefits of their hobbies to add value to their lives, de-stress, and unpack their complex emotions, likable people return to social connection feeling much more fulfilled and comfortable than those who actively repress and avoid alone time.
10. They smile often
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Research compiled by Penn State University reveals that the simple act of smiling during a conversation makes you more attractive, competent, and intelligent to others. Even with similar skillsets to others, in a venue like the workplace, people who smile are generally more successful, as they are perceived more favorably in social interactions.
11. They selflessly help others
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Being able to help others selflessly, rather than expecting praise or validation in return, is associated with humility and empathy — two traits that are intrinsically tied to a person's ability to be liked, according to emotional intelligence expert and author Travis Bradberry.
People who constantly express gratitude, lend a helpful hand, and use small daily moments to convey kindness to others are generally perceived as more positive than others, but they reap the emotional and physical benefits as well.
12. They smartly use their humor
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Psychology expert and author Jack Schafer, PhD argues that making people laugh can actually make them like you more. From passing interactions to long-term relationships, the excitement and positivity associated with laughter has profound benefits to health, happiness, and general well-being. Even if it's used to spice up the mundanity of daily life in a married couple, smartly utilizing humor in an appropriate way to uplift challenging moments can bond people even closer.
Everyone can tell a joke, like Schafer suggests, but not everyone can make people laugh; finding the perfect balance between humor and genuinity is key for maintaining your likability.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.