23 Odd Signs Someone You Love Is An Undercover Psychopath
Personality disorders can reveal themselves is strange ways.
Daniel Gregoire | Unsplash Psychopaths are not like the rest of us. They might have traditional human qualities, like love and passion, but they also have discerning traits that set them apart from normal people.
If you feel as if you are dealing with someone who may be a psychopath, then you will want to look for some warning signs.
Here are the odd signs someone you love is an undercover psychopath:
1. They have a victim mentality
A manipulator will play everything off as if they were the victim the entire time. They will bring up random incidents that happened or may not have happened to them that made them feel as if they were the ones being attacked.
Manipulators do this to make you feel sorry for them and perhaps maybe you will do everything you can to make them happy again. Do not give into this little game of theirs. You have been the victim this entire time and must find a way out.
Remember that you are the victim in any of these situations and that you must be willing to fight for your happiness for them to never sink their fangs into you ever again.
2. They are animal-driven
One of the more subtle signs someone is a psychopath is that they are animal-driven. This means they are more concerned with basic human needs, like food, water, and money, according to research.
Some psychopaths may also believe in a higher power and be more spiritual, but it is more likely they deem basic primitive needs more important.
Psychologist Tarra Bates-Duford explained, "Compared with non-psychopaths, they make fewer references to social needs relating to family members as well as friends. The needs of others are not recognized or accepted by the psychopath, therefore they are distanced from this emotional landscape."
"They also use more past-tense verbs in their narrative, suggesting a greater psychological and emotional detachment from the person or event," Bates-Duford continued. "For most people, attachments start to form during infancy, where they become attached to "objects" — often, these are parents and caregivers. But psychopaths don't form attachments."
3. They seem unapproachable
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Psychopaths have a very strange and cruel way of manipulating others. If you are in a relationship with a psychopath, you probably have already experienced what it is like for them to deliberately avoid talking to you about anything in particular.
They want you to feel like you were the one in the wrong the entire time during a fight or some kind of disagreement. Just as long as they can put a dent in your self-esteem then they have done their job right. The longer you wait for them to talk to you again, the more hurt you will be.
4. They tend to say "uh" and "um" a lot
"Psychopathic murderers also differ in other ways of speaking. Their verbal language is filled with disfluencies. Psychopaths may use phrases like "uh" or "umm" and have multiple breaks in communication or speech," said Bates-Duford.
This may be because they mutter some words unconsciously, while carefully selecting which words to say. This could also be a result of psychopaths having little to no conscience, causing them to see a crime as the logical outcome of a plan.
5. They want to be the center of attention
One of the most exhausting aspects of a psychopath is how much attention they crave every single day of their lives. They will do anything and everything to make sure that all of the spotlights are on them and their problems.
Nothing else exists to them in their own little world, they essentially view themselves as the center of the universe at all times. No one else's problems matter to them, just as long as they are able to get your attention then they have been fulfilled. They will seek out sympathy or empathy from others if they are not getting it from you.
6. They are extremely narcissistic
Nature Magazine published fascinating research on the neuroscience of psychopaths based on a study done by a group of Dutch researchers. They found that psychopaths display "malignant narcissism, which explains psychopaths' ability to manipulate any situation to their advantage, with complete disregard for the suffering that their behavior might cause others.
Furthermore, some psychopaths are boastful and arrogant and often criticize others. This is a result of their grandiose sense of self-worth.
7. They are conceited
Psychopaths are extremely conceited when it comes to actually talking to them if you get to talk to them. They look down on everyone else as if they were only there because of them.
As mentioned before, this plays a big part in them being attention seekers. When they get that attention they can make themselves appear like they know everything there is to know about everything.
However, if you call them out on their bluffs, they tend to retreat to those who are willing to sympathize with them. No surprise, right?
You mustn't allow yourself to fall into their traps. Do yourself a favor: whenever you find yourself dealing with a psychopath, just remove yourself from their existence entirely. They will see you as some kind of pawn and never as another human being.
8. They often have a troubled childhood
Childhood neglect, abuse, and trauma can desensitize children to other people's feelings. Not all psychopaths had horrible childhoods and millions of children who are abused never become psychopaths. However, it is important to note that children with troubled childhoods are more likely to become psychopaths.
Therapist Gloria Brame, Ph.D. echoed this sentiment and said, "Some classic trademarks of early emotional neglect in adults include poor relationship boundaries, significant trust issues that harm relationships, and fear of abandonment that resists or blocks emotional attachment to partners."
The lack of a bond or connection may affect children's ability to feel empathy, so they develop psychopathic traits.
9. They make you feel unstable
If the person you are with conjures stories, fabricates incidents, or lies entirely about things that never happened, then you are dealing with an extremely manipulative person. These kinds of people will do everything in their power to make you believe that you are the one who is going insane in the relationship.
Even though you wake up, do what you always do, and don't think twice about it, this gives them the perfect chance to break your spirit and make you want them even more because of how insane you feel. Do not second-guess your judgment and leave this person if you cannot feel safe with them.
10. They are charming
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Psychopaths are often amusing, entertaining, and witty. They are incredibly effective in presenting themselves and they are extremely likable and charming. The reason psychopaths can use their charm so powerfully is because they can get inside your head.
This is rather simple for them because they have zero distractions and intense focus; therefore, they can create an illusion of the connection that you may feel.
11. They steal your self-esteem
If you have been with a manipulative person for a very long time and you feel as if there is no more self-esteem inside of yourself simply because this one person sapped you of all potential self-love, then you do not need to think twice about this being a major warning sign of a manipulator.
If you truly feel as if this person genuinely makes an effort to make you feel like you are less than dirt, then you must do everything in your power to never see this person again. You deserve happiness despite whatever they tell you.
12. They are impulsive
One of the two steps to spotting a psychopath, according to research from The Aggression and Violent Behavior Journal, is "self-centered impulsivity."
Psychopaths are impulsive in that they constantly take risks, often with no regard for the consequences. They are also rebellious with fast-paced personalities. It is the impulsivity of psychopaths that makes them more prone to depression and suicide.
13. They verbally attack you
A huge warning sign that indicates that you are dealing with a very manipulative person may entail them verbally assaulting you daily.
A manipulator does not care about your feelings, ideas, or your concerns about the situation. All they care about is belittling you every single chance that they get to get what they want from you.
They will find every possible flaw in your person and verbally assault you when you try to confront them. Pay very close attention to what they say to you.
14. They are self-centered
Many psychopaths are extremely self-centered. They see themselves at the center of their universe. They only think of how they will be affected by someone or something else, rather than thinking about how their actions might affect other people.
Furthermore, while some may see psychopaths as impulsive, some researchers say that psychopaths value structure and are often more methodological.
15. They make you feel isolated
This is one of their sneakier actions. In an attempt to control you, they isolate you from your friends and family. You naturally want to go out and have fun with them, but they just don't feel like it tonight. Or ever.
Sound familiar? Next thing you know, you never see your friends anymore. It's a subtle manipulation.
16. They are pathological liars
Everybody lies. However, not everybody is a pathological liar. This is what mental health professionals call "Pseudologia fantastica." This is considered to be one of the elements in diagnosing psychopathy, according to mental health professionals.
Psychopaths not only lie about little things, like what they had for dinner, but they also lie about big things, like which college they attended. Researchers have claimed that psychopaths lie to control others by manipulating them.
17. They experience constant mood swings
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In the argument, they may go from being objective or compassionate to vicious and personal in a split second. They may flatter you and apologize then attack you again a minute later. They're fighting to control the narrative.
18. They lack empathy
One of the biggest symptoms of a psychopath is that they have a lack of empathy. One interesting study discovered that when psychopathic individuals imagine others in pain, "brain areas necessary for feeling empathy and concern for others fail to become active."
Furthermore, when imagining others in pain, they showed an increased response in the ventral striatum, an area that involves pleasure. When imagining pain to themselves, however, psychopathic participants showed a typical neural response.
19. They don't respect boundaries
One common symptom of a psychopath is a disregard for the personal space and feelings of others. You may express to them certain boundaries, but due to their condition may not truly grasp the impact they're having on you.
20. They are irresponsible
As well as being impulsive, charming, and narcissistic, psychopaths are also irresponsible, especially when it comes to financial obligations. Even though they are outwardly seen as charming and trustworthy, and even though some have steady jobs and loving relationships, they tend to be irresponsible and engage in risky behavior.
21. They make you feel unloved
Some psychopaths can't love and feel normal human emotions. As a result, many of their relationships are functional, utilitarian affairs. It can leave you feeling unloved.
22. You're the one constantly apologizing
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Narcissists will never give you an apology, especially if it's something that they did. They already know what they've done and they are going to refuse to acknowledge all of the consequences that follow after their cruel deeds.
"Whenever you have a problem with your partner, they always make it seem they are somehow the victim and constantly gaslight you to make it your fault to cover their actions," explained psychotherapist Nancy Carbone. "They will always find a way to turn the problem around to be your fault."
If the person you are dealing with seems as if they are never going to apologize, it could be because you are dealing with a toxic, narcissistic person. In their world, they are never the ones who are in the wrong, only all of the other people who should've done things "differently" so that this never even happened.
23. They are unpredictable
Several factors cause psychopaths to be unpredictable. Pathological lying, for example, is one of these factors. Because they rarely tell the truth, it is difficult to determine what psychopaths will do next.
Psychopaths' lack of empathy also contributes to their level of unpredictability. Because they are unable to understand others, they develop shallow emotions, which causes them to get bored easily. This means that they are always on new and different quests, not knowing what they are going to do or where they will end up.
No one truly wants to admit when they are dealing with someone mentally unstable, such as a psychopath. Especially when that person is someone they love.
However, it is important for all of us to recognize these warning signs when we finally do come across someone who appears to be unable to operate in society on a functional level. Unfortunately, sometimes this means that we have to leave these people in order for them to truly learn what they are doing to harm society in the first place.
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