4 Odd Behaviors That Are Actually A Sign Of A Predatory Pick-Up Artist
Don't fall for these manipulative tricks.
Budgeron Bach | Canva There is a whole underground movement focused on how to pick up women. Some men have formed clubs and called themselves Pickup Artists (PUA). They study methods to pick up women and seduce them.
The goal is to have their way with countless women to boost their egos and gain power. As a dating coach for women, I want you to know about the methods of these men and how to avoid falling for their tactics.
Here are four behaviors that are a sign of a predatory pick-up artist:
1. He establishes a strong connection off the bat
How many times have you met a man and told a girlfriend about the strong connection you felt with him? That's how you experience hot chemistry.
A man skilled in the art of seduction knows the way to appeal to most women is through conversation. He knows when a woman falls in love, it starts in her mind.
Of course, physical attraction is part of the appeal, but it really begins with an amazing conversation. This is how the seductive man persuades you to let down your guard and let him into your life.
How to recognize this method: This is a tough one to spot right away. The smart solution is to take things slowly so you get to know the man and he proves himself with consistency over time.
You want to avoid being swept off your feet so you don't get dumped on your butt after he's had his fun with you. Sometimes a man will share intimate details, so you think he is being real, but this is another trap.
His ability to share is not necessarily a sign that he's really into you so don't make this false assumption. It can be his technique to create a false sense of intimacy.
2. He keeps you off balance
Ron Lach / Pexels
Once a seductive man sets his sights on you, he will come on strong right away. He'll use a combination of "push and pull" which will confuse you.
You won't know what to expect next from him and this causes you to feel off balance and uncertain about what is happening between the two of you. The technique is designed to make you become the aggressor because the seductive man knows once he pulls away, you'll try hard to get his attention back.
Then he's got you. As a result, you will likely do things you might not normally do.
How to recognize this method: He'll pursue you aggressively, initiate conversation, and keep it flowing. He'll flirt with you and make you feel like he's totally into you.
Then, just when you start to open up, he'll pull back and become more aloof, suddenly seeming distracted or disinterested. If you are with a group, he may even ignore you and talk to your friends.
Should you encounter a man who seems all into you, then does a 180 and becomes aloof, that's your cue to walk away. He's either using seduction methods or doesn't know what he wants and neither makes him the right man for you.
3. He creates an air of mystery
Women are captivated by a mysterious man. It's your nature and the seductive man plays on this knowledge.
The less he tells you about himself, the more you'll want to know and you'll crave details about his life. You may think about him obsessively and find him to be quite exciting. One University of Rochester study finds that this works because the brain is programmed to want what it doesn't have.
When you take a step back to look at this objectively, your behavior makes no sense. This is part of the irrationality of attraction that he is using to his advantage. You can't wait to see him because you yearn for him to reveal his secrets to you.
How to recognize this method: One technique the seductive man uses is to act interested in you but not share why he feels this way. A skilled guy can create mystery through conversation (similar to Method #1), asking you deep questions to discover and focus on your interests, but not revealing a thing about himself.
He might also say something like, "I can't explain why I feel closer to you than anyone I've met before." This kind of statement pulls you to him and you start to feel the same way.
4. He looks deeply into your eyes
Roman Biernacki / Pexels
The seductive man knows how to use intense eye contact to convey his interest in you. According to social research, most extended eye contact is reserved for lovers, mothers, and their children.
By gazing into your eyes, it seems like he is looking into your soul. This method takes some practice on his part because if he lingers too long, it comes across as staring and feels creepy.
How to recognize this method: This is an easy technique to recognize. Extended eye contact can feel wonderful if done well because, in a way, it communicates that he can see you for the wonderful woman you are.
It's like the seductive man gets you and this creates a strong bond. Many women long for attention and recognition, and long gazes tend to do the trick. Enjoy the eye contact, but don't think he can see your soul.
The best way to elude the seductive man is not to fall for these tempting methods! Keep him at bay and make him wait so that you can see what his true intentions are. If he's into a quick tryst, he'll soon tire of waiting and move on. Avoid doing these things:
- Be too available.
- Drop other plans for him.
- Indulge in a marathon first date lasting for hours.
- See him several times in the first week.
- Share all your personal information or stories.
- Talk for hours on the phone or text constantly.
- Fall in love before you know he is worthy of that privilege.
I share this powerful method to remain balanced with my dating coaching clients. The Positive Neutrality method allows you to feel the fun and excitement of a new man while encouraging you to have a "Wait and See" attitude. He needs to prove himself to you and earn your trust. Observe him to see if he pursues you consistently (at least weekly), is a man of his word, spends time with you, respects your schedule, and doesn't exhibit any controlling behaviors.
Don't overthink this. There are plenty of great guys out there to date who want a genuine relationship. They might not be as smooth or charming as the men who study and use these methods of seduction, but they make excellent romantic partners for a loving relationship that lasts.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach, Past Life Reader, and author of six books. She’s the creator of the free audio course How to Ask the Universe for a Sign and Get an Answer Within 24 Hours. She's been published on ABC, BBC, and NPR.