Rory Gilbert, ACSW, CADC, LCSW, MA - Expert

Rory Gilbert, LCSW, CADC

Education and Work History. I have been an individual and couples therapist for over thirty years. After getting my degree in 1979 from the University of Chicago-School of Social Service Administration, I went to work for Metropolitan Family Services where I received intensive training in working with individuals and couples from a family systems perspective. When I had become proficient as a psychotherapist, I left the agency to counsel police officers and their families; first for the Chicago Police Department and then as the executive director and co-founder of The Police Assistance Center/St. Michael’s House. After close to twenty-five years counseling the police, I closed The Police Assistance Center in 2005 to go into full time private practice.

Counseling, Psychotherapy, and Dating Coach. The reasons that people come to see me are many, but for the most part, I see people—both individuals and couples—who are struggling in relationships. Although the reasons that people have emotional problems can be the result of multiple psychological and biological reasons, I believe that in most cases the most effective way of treating these problems is by looking at what is going on in the person’s significant relationships. This is obvious when someone comes into the office saying, “I’m miserable because I can’t find a boyfriend” or “my wife and I are contemplating divorce.” But I also think that when someone seeks help for “depression” or “anxiety” the first question should be “how are you communicating this problem to your spouse and how is your spouse responding?”

There are many, many things that can go wrong in the way that people communicate their needs to their partners and the manner in which the partners respond, but I am particularly sensitive to the ways that power and control issues as well as gender differences affect relationships. (Bear in mind I spent twenty-five years counseling police officers and their families.) Thus, much of my work is spent helping “alpha males” become more sensitive to the feelings and needs of their wives and girlfriends and helping women become more assertive and empowered in getting their needs met.

Personal. I have been happily married to my wife Lynette since 1983. We met in graduate school, but in 2002 she left social services to follow her true passion. She now owns and operates her own business—Three Bags Full: Knitting Studio in Northbrook. We have two wonderful sons. Both graduated from their respective colleges—Lake Forest College for our oldest and Amherst College for the younger—with the highest of academic honors and are now making their own way in the world. I am an avid golfer and would like to run for mayor of Sportsman's Country Club if the office ever comes into existence.