Teacher In Her Early 20s Considers Leaving The Profession Because Too Many Students Have A Crush On Her
Although it may feel awkward, experts consider it normal when students have crushes on their teachers.
Jacob Lund | Shutterstock.com Most people can probably recall a teacher they thought was cute or even had a crush on. It's a normal part of a student’s coming-of-age.
However, this situation is rarely thought of from the perspective of the teacher. Unfortunately, it seems like this rite of passage is disconcerting to some.
A young teacher is considering leaving the profession because too many students have a crush on her.
“I’ve been reflecting a lot about whether I want to stay in this profession,” the teacher admitted in a Reddit post. “To sum it up, I’m a female teacher in my early 20s, and I’ve become really uncomfortable teaching high school."
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“Students haven’t been outright weird to me, but I constantly hear from my sister-in-law (who knows many of the students) about how so-and-so likes me or thinks I’m ‘cute,’” she explained.
This isn’t just about gossip from her sister-in-law, though. Students have told the teacher that their classmates have a crush and one colleague mentioned that students she doesn't even teach have called her cute.
“Honestly, it’s not flattering — it’s just uncomfortable,” she shared. “When I started teaching, I wanted to inspire students, not be the ‘attractive teacher.’”
She feels like her real purpose for teaching is being undermined by these students. “It feels like I’m not being respected for my abilities, but instead just talked about because of my looks,” the teacher confessed.
She ended her post with a cry for help, asking fellow "young female teachers" how they would handle the situation. "How do you ignore it?" she questioned. "Has it ever made you question your place in the profession?”
Unfortunately, Redditors noted that this may just be part of the job.
“It’s just part of it if you teach middle and high school,” one user wrote. “It is absolutely uncomfortable. It does get a little better as your age gap widens.”
Another commenter added, “It’s part of the job if you’re a young teacher, unfortunately. I would ignore it, never be alone with a student with a [closed] door, and report [it] to admin if a student says or does something weird.”
"If I were you, I would accept it (as there’s nothing you can do to control a child’s feelings) and then look at what you can control: explore ways to set boundaries and ensure respect," a third commenter suggested. They also recommended deactivating or making private all social media accounts to prevent students from finding their personal pages.
Students having crushes on teachers is to be expected.
According to Michigan-based psychologist Megan Rotar, crushes on teachers are relatively normal.
She told Southeast Michigan’s Metro Parent, “Teachers, to students, are almost like celebrities. They are there to be supportive and help the students in learning and facilitate their growth. Sometimes the teachers will fulfill a need the student has, and that can lead to a crush.”
“Crushes can be healthy and positive,” Rotar added. “Students might find someone who would be a good role model for them, spark an interest in learning, and help [them] figure out their newly developing romantic feelings.”
Still, the normality of such crushes doesn’t make it any easier for the teachers experiencing it.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.