Veteran Teacher Says Having To Constantly Acknowledge Her Students’ Feelings Makes Her Want To Quit — ‘They've Already Made Me Cry Once’
"We're bubble-wrapping kids emotions at the expense of everyone around them."
Ferrantraite, Julia Zavalishina | CanvaPro Overwhelmed by the emotional and physical chaos of her high school classroom, a teacher turned to Reddit, admitting she was on the brink of quitting. Unlike many other school districts, she said their school does have the funding for a counseling department, but she argued it was doing more harm than good.
“The counseling department at this school drives the bus,” the teacher shared in her recent Reddit post, “and makes all the decisions, including academic ones …They believe every students’ feelings need to be acknowledged.”
Of course, all students, especially teens, should feel supported and heard at school, but where’s the boundary?
Where should teachers feel empowered to step in and help, and what should be left to counseling staff and families? Can this overemphasis on “tip-toeing” around students’ feelings actually harm everyone's success and well-being?
A high school teacher said that the constant need to ‘acknowledge’ her students’ feelings makes her want to quit after more than ten years in education.
“I'm a veteran teacher at a private high school that I just moved to this year,” the teacher wrote in her recent post. “I've taught for 10+ years … but I'm thinking about quitting soon. Is this a new trend in education?”
Surprisingly, it’s not the under-compensation or increased classroom specialization that’s pushing this teacher to finally leave the profession after more than a decade—it’s the school counselors. It's not a lack of counselors but rather their over-involvement in the educational process.
The teacher said the ‘counseling department’ has prioritized students’ emotions over the well-being of the rest of the staff.
“I know kids and parents have changed but I've never worked at a school where the counselors make it so much worse,” she honestly shared.
“The counselors believe every student's feeling needs to be acknowledged.”
Even in situations where the student is in the wrong, like talking over a staff member or disrespecting a peer, the teacher said their counselors are empowering kids to “weaponize” addressing their feelings in the classroom.
“The counselor acknowledges their feelings as ‘real’ and repeatedly tells them their feelings are okay and are never wrong to have. These kids are high school age and are smart enough to weaponize this power.”
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This teacher explained that the students now feel empowered to say and do “whatever they want.”
Crying almost daily, she wrote that she's stressed and constantly distracted from actually teaching; she’s reached her breaking point.
The teacher said that it’s ‘strange’ to have school counselors doing ‘too much.’
Of course, with a teaching shortage in many districts, it’s not surprising that counselors are in even higher demand. Not only are the remaining teachers burdened more than their typical responsibilities, but they’re not often compensated or acknowledged for doing extra work.
That’s what makes this teacher’s situation so unique. As many education professionals shared in the comments, school counselors are usually not doing “enough” or aren’t present at all, but in this case, they seem to be doing too much.
Even in schools where there are trained counseling professionals present, teachers like this one are still finding themselves burdened with taking on both roles. “I really resent that teaching has been conflated with therapy,” one wrote in the comments. “We are not trained to nurture the emotions of 30 children simultaneously, while also teaching them. I couldn't do it. I don't do it.”
Of course, teachers will have to regulate their emotions in the classroom, but acknowledging every student’s intense, unique, and complicated emotions is just not feasible — that’s why counselors are there in the first place.
This teacher is dealing with high school teenagers. Of course, they’re going to be experiencing intense feelings and emotions, but that doesn’t mean they all need to be met with accommodations or acknowledgments from teachers.
“It's not a helpful practice to amplify teenagers' negative emotions and put them on a pedestal, to the point where they are aware of how to manipulate adults,” one person adequately summarized. “Students need support... with professionals and family.”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.