Former Teacher Says ‘Too Much Empathy’ Is Why Students Are Failing And Teachers Are Quitting
Is there really such thing as too much empathy?
Gustavo Fring | Pexels Empathy is an important part of being a good person. We should all be able to understand how others are feeling and be sensitive to their issues.
However, as the idiom goes, too much of anything is never good, especially when it comes to kids. But most people think of that in terms of sugar, not empathy.
Teacher Sha Collier has a different perspective — one that is a bit controversial. In a TikTok video, she claimed that teachers have to give their students tough love in order to succeed, and he said it's a major factor in why teachers are leaving the profession in droves.
A current teacher backed a former teacher's claims that ‘too much empathy’ is to blame for student failures and teachers quitting.
Collier stitched a video from former teacher Mike Bonitatibus agreeing that the reason so many students are failing and teachers are quitting is because of too much empathy. She recounted her experience when teaching chemistry to eighth graders.
She told students to bring a pencil, their tablet (charged, of course), and a copy of the periodic table for a test. She stressed that they would fail without these items.
Collier said she also provided multiple reminders to students, as well as their parents and other teachers.
Only 60 of her 110 students came prepared on the day of the test, and of course, those who didn't failed.
While she was tempted to provide them with another opportunity, she decided not to. There was no excuse not to bring the required materials. Remember, these were students about to enter high school.
Collier provided them with every opportunity to succeed and they didn't take it. "There are consequences for your actions, and kids need to know that," she said.
Schools need to act in the best interest of the children, but what exactly is best for them?
In the video stitched by Collier, former teacher Mike Bonitatibus argued the issue of too much empathy stemmed from wanting what is best for them. What's best for them isn't a black-and-white issue, however. There's not right or wrong answer.
Some believe that failing children will embarrass them and make them feel ashamed and as such, should be avoided.
Others believe that it's good if kids sit with these negative emotions so they are motivated to perform better in the future.
Unfortunately, many teachers argue that actually educating kids on both curriculum and life has been put on the back burner and replaced with catering to parents' demands that their children's emotions take center stage.
Ironically, focusing on not hurting students can actually hurt them in the long run.
Too much empathy has resulted in 'learned helplessness' among students, which is a direct result of not being held accountable for their actions.
According to Psychology Today, children develop learned helplessness at school when "they cannot perform well and therefore stop trying to improve."
When children fail classes and are still allowed to move to the next grade level, they don't understand (or choose not to understand) the control they have over their grades. They believe that since they're going to fail anyway and still be allowed to move to the next grade, what's the point in trying?
This is detrimental to children because, eventually, they'll enter the real world, and this learned helplessness will follow them into other aspects of their lives.
Not only students but teachers are negatively affected. Teachers become childcare providers instead of educational mentors. This creates a perfect storm of unprepared students and unhappy teachers.
Good teachers are quitting because the school system doesn't and can't back them up.
It's easy to give students countless opportunities to do the right thing, but the reality is that if kids don't learn that there are consequences for their actions and they'll pass regardless of the effort they put in, teachers will continue to quit out of frustration and kids won't be prepared for adulthood.
Sahlah Syeda is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.