Woman Asks If She's Wrong For Telling Another Parent That She Should've Chosen A 'Better Partner' To Raise Her Kids
She said she was only defending her family from criticism.
ViDI Studio | Shutterstock After getting into an argument with another parent while at her son's sports game, a mom questioned if she should've chosen a different approach instead of engaging and creating a bit of drama.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITA, she recalled another parent at the game trying to shame her and her husband for the way they interacted with one of their children, and she decided to clap back.
She told another parent that she could've chosen a 'better partner' to raise her kids.
In her Reddit post, which has since been deleted but reposted on X by AskAubry, she explained that she and her husband were at a softball game for their eldest child, Sarah. The two of them were sitting off to the side of the field near another parent when their daughter ran up to them and admitted that she'd just started her period and needed a tampon.
Without thinking twice about it, the mom simply directed her husband to her bag, which was closer to him. He reached into it, pulled out a tampon, and handed it to Sarah. She thanked him and took off running to the bathroom. Neither she nor her husband thought anything of it. However, immediately after the game was over, another parent came up to them with a bone to pick.
ask_aubry | X
"The parent that was close by pulled me aside as she was upset and concerned about what happened earlier," she recalled.
At first, she was a bit confused, thinking she'd missed something that had happened while tending to her youngest child. "It was because Sarah asked for a tampon, and her father handed her one."
The other parent proceeded to go on a 15-minute rant about the fact that it was "inappropriate" for a girl to bring up the topic of periods and feminine products in the company of her father, and she should've pulled her mother to the side and discussed it privately.
ask_aubry | X
Not only was the interaction between this mom and her daughter none of this parent's business, but there was absolutely nothing wrong with the father-daughter dynamic.
This kind of mindset feeds into the narrative that talking about menstruation and feminine products is something to be ashamed of and shouldn't be discussed with fathers, especially when that's not the case at all. It's a perfectly normal human function, and the girl's father isn't unaware of the fact that his daughter has them monthly, the same way that he's not unaware that it happens to his wife as well.
In an interview with the Mayo Clinic, pediatrician Dr. Asma J. Chattha explained, "Puberty should be framed in as positive a manner as possible so that the overall experience is not one of fear but pride and acceptance. As the pubertal changes progress, it is important for fathers to become aware of the many different menstrual period products on the market such as pads, tampons, menstrual period underwear, menstrual cups, and so on."
Sarah's mom pointed out that her daughter hadn't yelled it across the field or made a big production about needing a tampon, and this woman had taken it upon herself to insert her opinion where it just didn't belong in the first place.
ask_aubry | X
"I just said to her that there was nothing wrong with what had happened."
She informed the other parent that it was both her and her husband's job to provide whatever was necessary for their daughter, and if that meant tampons, then so be it. However, she ended up getting hostile with her and claiming that she should have "picked a better partner" because "no father should ever be involved with their daughters like that."
"My trigger was flipped, and I snapped back that, 'My family does not have to do anything to ensure your comfort,'" she continued.
She then flipped the woman's insult back on her, saying that she should've chosen a better partner to raise her kids if she felt strongly about the way that a father should interact with his daughters.
ask_aubry | X
She left the other parent and went back to her husband, filling him in on what had just happened and he was in complete agreement that the entire situation was weird and he didn't quite understand why someone else felt the need to critique their parenting. However, when the mom got home and called her friend, she heard a different opinion.
"She said that I should have just ignored the other parent instead of responding the way I did because you never know if their perspective was stemming from past trauma," she said of her friend's opinion on the situation.
Whether or not that other parent's experience was from past trauma was irrelevant, however. There was nothing untoward about this father and daughter's interaction.
At the end of the day, what other parents do with their children, as long as it's nothing harmful, is no one else's business.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.