Non-Strict Dad Answers Hypothetical Questions From His Teen Daughter & Is Being Hailed As The Best Parent Online
They have such a healthy father-daughter relationship.
@wholeparent and @abby.spamm84 / TikTok A 17-year-old girl on TikTok named Abby decided that she would ask her father some hypothetical questions as part of a trend on the social media app. Her video caught the attention of another man on TikTok, who just happens to be a parenting educator, who called Abby's father's responses "the best parenting I’ve ever seen on TikTok.”
Abby's 'non-strict' father’s answers shocked everyone in the comments with how respectful they were.
There are a ton of different parenting styles and guides and books that will be read by many parents trying to figure out how they want to go about raising their kids. It’s a hard job, and many people will tell you that they’re just winging it. But this father seems to have the right idea because all of his answers to Abby’s questions were respectful and kind.
“Okay, I'm asking my non-strict dad hypothetical questions,” Abby says to the camera at the beginning of her video, to which the dad replies, seemingly in shock, “Non-strict dad?” But we’ll soon find out why Abby said that as his answers are the most laid-back I’ve seen from anyone.
“What would you do if I got a C or lower in a class?” she starts off easy. “Oh, as long as you tried your hardest, that's fine.” Good answer. She should be focused on school but it shouldn’t be a stress point between parent and child — it’s enough of a stressor as it is.
“Okay, what if I snuck out and went to a party and you found out the next morning?” Typical teenager activity, most parents would probably ground their kids for sneaking out, but this dad defies all odds. He says “We would talk about it, but it'd be fine.”
When she asks what he’d do if she cussed him out in a fight, he said he’d tell her he didn’t like the way she was talking to him and he’d cuss her out himself. Abby laughs, and she’s been laughing and smiling the whole time so far.
They have a very free-flowing relationship built upon mutual respect, and it’s evident by the way they interact with each other.
What if she got arrested for shoplifting? He’d say that was stupid. What if she skipped class and found out from the principal? He says school isn’t that important. What if she turned off her location? Well, he said he’d be mad because then he wouldn’t be able to help her if she needed him, but he would say something to her.
Parents on TikTok pointed out how good their relationship is and how he has earned her respect.
One of the top comments on Jon’s video reads, “a lot of parents don't know the difference between obedience and respect. that man has her respect.” Someone else wrote, “He’s the definition of ‘don’t sweat the small stuff.’”
A third person claimed “I love her giggling tells she'd never entertain most all of these. She was given freedom and respect and turned into a responsible respectful person,” and they might be kind of right. According to Aha Parenting, “Studies show that children raised with a strict parenting style tend to be more angry and rebellious as teenagers and young adults.”
When kids aren’t given the freedom to explore and make decisions for themselves and learn how to be responsible on their own, they’re more likely to rebel and do the things they’re being told not to do in the first place.
It seems like Abby has been able to form a relationship with her father where she’s capable of understanding the things she’s responsible for and learning right from wrong. One thing she actually specifically points out as something that she would never do is drunk driving.
“Okay, what would you do — I would never do this — what if, what would you do if I was drunk driving?” she asks him, and this is the one hypothetical where the father actually shows a little sternness. He says “Oh I’d be pissed, I would be taking your license and car away myself.” But she understands the gravity of drunk driving — not only is her life at risk but someone else’s.
They’ve cultivated a relationship built upon mutual respect, and it’s evident, especially in the way the father answered what he would do if she got a tattoo. “That’s fine, it’s your body.”
He allows her to have autonomy and independence, and in return, she can come to him with anything. Jon even writes toward the end of the video “You think this girl ever thinks twice about calling for help? Nope. This is GOALS,” and it is.
Parents everywhere should take notes.
Isaac Serna-Diez is an Assistant Editor for YourTango who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.