Woman Complains That The Last Of The Single Friends Often Gets The Least Support Despite Being There Through Everyone Else’s Milestones
"They are too busy in their married lives and being parents that they cannot reciprocate."
Josep Suria | Shutterstock It can be an isolating experience when there is only one single person left in a friend group — and not just because they are the perpetual third (or fifth or seventh) wheel.
One woman on TikTok insisted that even when the final person settles down, they simply don't receive the same support that their friends did before them.
The woman said that the last of the single friends often gets the least support, despite being there through everyone else's milestones.
A TikTok creator named Alyssa stitched a clip from the podcast "Stop the Internet." In the podcast episode titled "Single Friend ReparationsSingle Friend ReparationsSingle Friend Reparations," the hosts Kelee and Erin discussed the challenges of being the last single person in a friend group.
Erin noted that many single people go to all of their friends' events, from bachelorette and engagement parties to weddings. During this time, they are told "Your time's gonna come" and "We're all gonna show up for you." However, when push comes to shove, that's not always the case.
Because their friends have kids and partners, they often do not attend the last single person's milestone occasions.
"Now you have three kids and you can't come to my Bachelorette. Why do you think I was asking you to come to every single birthday party I've had for the past 10 years?" Kelee questioned. "Because I knew this was gonna happen."
Alyssa wholeheartedly agreed with the podcast hosts.
“I have already said that the big white wedding is just, it’s not my thing,” Alyssa said. “But the thing is, if I end up with a partner where doing the big white wedding is really important to them ... I already know I am going to have to lower my expectations.”
Alyssa clarified that by "lowering her expectations" she wasn't referring to the wedding itself, but the people who would support her.
“I already know that people are not gonna be able to do the bachelorette, the bridal shower,” she said. “I already know that when my time comes to have babies, I need to lower my expectations for a baby shower.”
“The reason it sucks so much is [that] when you are among the last of the single friends, you have been there and have supported all the others through all of it,” Alyssa continued, “and now they are too busy in their married lives and being parents that they cannot reciprocate.”
Alyssa explained that she is understanding of her friends' commitments and responsibilities; however, "it doesn’t make it any less difficult."
She encouraged people who are already settled down to make an effort to get together with their single friends. “We are not asking to be your number one priority all of the time,” she said, “but my god if you can just take a little bit of time once a month … I promise you they will thank you.”
Maintaining friendships as an adult is difficult but worth it.
Cultivating and maintaining friendships as an adult is often challenging. It's all too easy to get caught up in your own obligations, jobs, and family life and let your friends fall by the wayside, especially when you don't live near them or see them regularly. However, friendships are incredibly beneficial.
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According to the Mayo Clinic, “Friends also play a big role in your overall health. Adults with strong social connections have a lower risk of many health problems. That includes depression, high blood pressure, and an unhealthy weight.”
While it can be tempting to set your focus entirely on your family, and it’s certainly important to give them the time and attention they need, you shouldn’t neglect friendships because they become a bit more challenging. Like many things in life, a little effort goes a long way.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.