Woman Blames 'Mediocre Men' For Creating A Fear Of Aging In 20 Somethings
"These men are saying, 'If you like yourself too much you won’t like us enough.'"
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock In modern-day society, there seems to be an overarching sense of dread when it comes to aging, especially for young women who are often told to enjoy their youth, as one day soon, their skin will be wrinkled, and they'll yearn for the bodies they had in their 20s.
One woman places the blame for this fear of aging squarely on the shoulders of “mediocre men.”
The woman blames ‘mediocre men’ for creating a fear of aging in women in their 20s.
A poll of 2,000 women conducted by Dermstore found that 28% of women under the age of 25 have anxiety about aging. It only gets worse when women reach ages 35-44, and the number climbs to 54%.
Clearly, many young women are concerned about aging, particularly because of the inevitable change in their physical appearance. But why do we put so much emphasis on the way we look?
DDaria Fox | Shutterstock
Content creator Ally Rooker believes that she cracked the code on women's fear of aging, and the answer is, unsurprisingly, men.
In a recent TikTok, she called out men who make women believe that their “beauty and value are going to expire in their 20s” and backed up her case using a comment left by a man who was offended that she likes how she looks at 30 better than she did at 20.
“This is scary. This woman is driving women in the wrong direction,” the man commented.
Instead of feeling insulted by the random man's rude comment, Rooker took the opportunity to examine why he and other men feel this way. The conclusion she came to is not a good look for them.
“Men need you to think that you’ll ‘expire’ at 25 so that you’ll lock one of them down before your frontal lobe develops,” she explained. “They are banking on the fact that the earlier you feel you’ve lost your beauty and your value, the earlier you will feel like you have to take whatever man you can get.”
"The earlier you feel that you have to take any man you can get," she continued, "the less work that they have to put into being a good quality partner."
If you let a man convince you that you lose value after a certain age, then "the bar is very low for how they will treat you," she added.
She further pointed out that the time and energy many women spend worrying about aging could be better spent ensuring that their partners treat them how they deserve to be treated.
“Be nice to yourself and be nice to others if for no other reason because they [men] don’t want you to be,” she concluded.
Women online were inspired by Rooker’s words and insisted that aging is not as horrible as many perceive it to be.
“With age comes wisdom. And really cool gray hair!” one TikTok user commented.
“I look way better at 33 than 23 because I have confidence in my style and appearance now,” another commenter wrote.
As women get older, their physical appearances are bound to change. It's nothing to fear or be ashamed of. It is impossible to have the same figure as you did in your early 20s and your metabolism was the speed of light!
“We have been conditioned to believe that if you have any sign of aging on your face, then you’re somehow a failure as a human,” Dr. Amanda Hanson, a psychologist said of women. Meanwhile, as men age, they are often dubbed “silver foxes” and called "distinguished."
“We don’t talk about women with any sense of respect or desire when she’s got wrinkles on her face,” she added.
We must make a societal effort to uplift women as they go through the natural process of aging.
“Women who are aging still have power and other beautiful qualities,” Hanson noted. “I really believe we don’t have to insult ourselves so much.”
Wrinkles, aging spots, and gray hair are all normal things associated with aging — and that is just the physical aspects. As you get older, you also may find that your mentality undergoes changes, and thankfully, most of them are positive!
According to a 2018 AARP survey, older women are more comfortable in their skin, with 52% of boomers agreeing with the statement, “I am kinder to myself about my body image as I age.” Only 41% of Gen Xers and 38% of millennials agreed with this.
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Additionally, 50% of women wished that aging was represented more accurately in the media.
Rather than fear a process that is inevitable and happens to everyone, we should embrace growing older and wiser — despite what men and the rest of society may think. In case men are not already aware, they age just like women do. Lucky for them, we tend to see value in other qualities beyond their age.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.