Woman Asks For Advice After Her Friend Of 15 Years Dumps Her Over Political Views
Would you end a friendship over conflicting political opinions?
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock Politics are especially contentious nowadays, and many people are willing to end relationships and friendships with people who fall on opposite sides of the political spectrum. One woman found this out the hard way after her longtime friend abruptly decided to cut ties with her for this very reason.
The woman asked for advice after her friend of 15 years dumped her over their political views.
"'Debbie'" and I have known each other for 15 years," the woman wrote to NJ.com’s advice column, "Dear Abby." "Our children grew up together, and we have participated in a lot of activities together. She helped me through a difficult divorce and has always been there for me."
However, all of that changed a year ago when Debbie unexpectedly ended their friendship over text because of their political differences.
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"I was devastated. I have tried to contact her, but she has blocked my number," she wrote, claiming that "In all the years Debbie and I have known each other, we never discussed politics."
Now, she wants to know if it is worth trying to salvage their friendship and asked Abby for advice regarding the situation.
“Since she blocked my number, I’ve thought about writing to her or dropping by her house to see if we can get past this,” the heartbroken woman added.
While Abby extended her sympathies to the woman for losing a deep friendship so abruptly, she cautioned her not to make the first move, and to allow Debbie to open up the lines of communication if and when she is ready.
“What she did was cruel. Unless you wish to court more judgment and rejection, keep your distance,” she advised.
Politics can get very heated, especially in today’s political climate. Some people are quick to cut off their longtime friends who voted differently than them, despite the quality of the friendship.
Ending a friendship because of political differences is a deeply personal decision and depends on the specifics of the situation.
It’s important to remember that your friends may come from different backgrounds and experiences that shaped their political beliefs. A difference of opinion does not necessarily mean that your friend is a bad person — they may just see the world differently than you do. In any strong friendship, there must be room for respectful disagreement.
However, if your friend’s political views constantly disrespect your core values and make you feel uncomfortable, it would be understandable to distance yourself from them. Politics today are about more than just policies — it's often about morals. For many people, it's a line in the sand they aren't willing to cross and that's also OK.
"Friendships are two-sided, and they must bring mutual happiness and joy," Buse Koldas wrote for the John Hopkins News-Letter. "Upsettingly, politics can ruin that ... If it really bothers you that your best friend turned out to be pro-gun or anti-abortion or pro-immigration, evaluate if that friendship brings you more misery than it does joy. Don’t feel bad for prioritizing yourself and cutting them off."
"Similarly, if you lose a friend, try to understand that it is equally hard on their side," she continued. "Friendship breakups are heartbreaking, yet there might be times where we feel the need to prioritize our values over people for long-term happiness."
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.