Woman Asks For Advice After Two Of Her Best Friends Purposefully Exclude Her From A Trip — ‘I Don’t Want To Be Pity-Invited’
Communication and clear expectations are important in friendships.
Pixel-Shot | Shutterstock All relationships are built on trust, shared experiences, and a mutual understanding of each other's feelings, whether it's familial, romantic, or platonic. However, even the closest relationships can be tested when one person feels left out or excluded. A recent Reddit post from a 24-year-old woman has sparked a conversation about the complexities of friendships and how to handle exclusion within close-knit circles.
In her post, the woman reveals her disappointment after discovering that two of her best friends planned a trip without including her. However, here’s the kicker: all three of them were supposed to go on this trip and were excited about it for months.
A woman said two of her best friends excluded her from a trip they had all planned to go on together.
The woman explained that she met her two best friends back in university. For three years, the trio was inseparable, spending countless hours together and supporting each other through school. Even after graduation, they continued to stay in touch daily through group chats and FaceTime calls, with plans to visit one of the friends who had moved abroad for a new job in Europe.
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All three of them had been eagerly planning a trip to visit their friend during New Year's Eve. However, when she reached out to her friends to arrange the planning process, one of the friends suggested they delay the trip until the spring, due to work scheduling conflicts.
However, just a few days later, it was revealed through a Snapchat story that was all a lie. Her two best friends had already booked flights for the originally planned trip without her. This sudden exclusion left the woman feeling hurt and wondering what had gone wrong in their friendship.
Although it's not an easy discussion, the woman should have asked her friends why plans changed instead of turning to social media for advice.
In this type of situation, anyone would have rightfully felt excluded, however, expressing that is a different story. One of the most important aspects of any relationship is to have open and honest communication.
The lack of clear communication about the trip led to her feeling confused and hurt. While it can be uncomfortable to bring up sensitive topics, especially when you're afraid of causing tension, addressing your feelings is crucial to avoid misunderstandings. Expressing her emotions in a respectful and calm manner could have helped her friends understand her perspective, opening the door for a productive conversation. Who knows, perhaps the other women felt she was unenthusiastic for some reason. There could have been a million reasons for the slight, especially since we only have half the story.
Good communication ensures that both sides feel heard and respected, which ultimately strengthens the friendship.
Sadly, not all friendships stand the test of time.
At the end of the day, what everyone wants out of a good and healthy relationship with their friends is honesty and loyalty. Knowing your friends are going on the trip that was supposed to be the three of you can feel like a stab in the back. Simply put: Being excluded hurts.
It is natural in friendships that everyone has different schedules, priorities, and sometimes even different levels of excitement about certain plans. However, it’s important that everyone is on the same page about expectations, especially when it comes to significant events or trips.
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In this woman's case, she and her friends were not on the same page, resulting in them booking the trip without consulting her. Her fear of being "pity-invited" reflected her need for genuine connection, rather than being included out of obligation.
The fact remains, however, that she was excluded from the trip and there is a missing piece to the friendship puzzle that cannot be answered without a conversation. Things always look favorable to the person asking for advice. Still, it's important to remember that we do not have the whole story and to truly understand what is going on we either need more details or the woman asking for advice needs to discuss the slight with the women she purported to be friends with.
While it’s natural to feel hurt when left out, the key to maintaining healthy relationships is addressing the issue with honesty and vulnerability. By approaching the situation thoughtfully, the user can navigate the discomfort of exclusion while ensuring that her friendships remain strong and built on mutual respect.
In the end, true friendship is about understanding each other's feelings and creating an environment where everyone feels valued and included.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.