19 Ways Women's Bodies Change As We Age (That Are Nothing To Be Ashamed Of)
Nothing is weird about your aging body.
GoodLuz and Oleksandr Khmelevskyi via Shutterstock It feels like nobody talks positively about aging. Even worse, there are so many topics related to aging that women often don't discuss with one another. There's just so much shame wrapped up in all of it.
That's probably because normal aging has become invisible. We see models who somehow have both grown children and six-pack abs or celebrities who've paid the best aesthetic medicine professionals for procedures that make them look naturally tight, glowy and slender. We need to knock this off.
Here's the truth: You don't have to reject your aging body or fight the passage of time. It's a battle you'll never win. Instead, start doing the work of being yourself and simply existing in the world. Is it easy? No. But it's a gift to ourselves, other women and our daughters.
19 totally natural ways women's bodies change as we age
Please note each body is unique and will do its own thing. You may have all of these or none of these or even additional experiences not on this list. But no matter what, it's important to remember you're not alone.
1. Your body shape may change
This is normal. The toughest part of this, for me, is I have to learn how to dress myself comfortably (and cutely) every time my body shape shifts. When I was 24, I wore a size zero and had a small chest with relatively broad shoulders. It was easy to find clothes to fit and I rarely needed to wear a bra.
Then I had a baby and my boobs got bigger and I gained a little weight. I had to shift and adjust to the change. When turned 38 my waist curved in less. Suddenly I had hips, too, and the jeans I'd been wearing for five years were uncomfortable and fit awkwardly despite weighing about the same.
According to The Mayo Clinic, this is pretty typical, as a decrease in estrogen can cause women's bodies to store more belly fat — even if we don't gain weight. Lots of people (though, mostly corporations) will want you to believe this is bad, but it's not.
At 46, my body has changed again, and once more I'm figuring out what's cute and comfortable, but still feels authentic to me. The funny thing is, I like it. I like my softness and my curves. It took years, but I like myself more now than I probably ever did.
2. Your hair and eyebrows may get thinner
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You can use products to lessen this effect, but if you notice it and your doctor thinks it's just natural aging, please know this is very common! The only reason you think it's only you is that you aren't judging anyone else's hair thickness as much as your own! The same goes for your eyebrows.
The Cleveland Clinic affirms this is normal. Once again, blame hormones! "Hormones that help stimulate follicle fibers are diminished and frequently there is a a slight dominance of testosterone. Because of these aging and environmental changes, some hair follicles stop producing new hair altogether," their website explains.
3. The skin and flesh under your arms may droop
It's physics and hormones. Things get loose. Yes, you can get ripped and try to lose weight, but your arms won't look like they did when you were 22 and it is perfectly OK. In fact, there are videos all over social media of women over 40 who, when flexing, have amazing muscle definition. The moment they relax that muscle they go right back to droopy arms.
This will also likely happen to the skin on your back. It's just life and is not a reflection of your health or well-being. It simply has to do with a loss of collagen in our bodies, as well as a decrease in overall muscle mass, as shown by research in the Journal of Applied Physiology.
4. Your belly skin will likely change a lot
This is especially true if your abdomen grew lot while pregnant or during other changes in weight. Similarly, postpartum women have started to reclaim the beauty of their stretch marks and belly rolls — which I love! But your skin may also lose tone, change texture, and become lumpy or uneven in ways you weren't expecting even well after your kids are babies.
I have a roll of weird fat under my bra line. I don't love it, but it's my body and it's there. I could go get Coolsculpting to get rid of it (and maybe I will, you never know), but it doesn't undo the reality this is a part of what happened when I got older and there's nothing wrong with it. What stops me most is that I want my daughter to witness me loving and accepting my body.
5. Your belly may fold or roll differently
I don't know why this happens, but it's something more than just gaining weight or getting wrinkles. No doubt it has to do with collagen and muscle mass and hormones, like everything else, as supported by an article in Gender Issues.
Just know it happens to almost everyone, and it's perfectly fine!
6. Your chest might droop or sag
You can get them lifted or enhanced with plastic surgery, and if that's meaningful to you, do it. You can also find a great lingerie shop and get a quality fitting so you are buying bras that both support your shape and keep you comfortable. This has made a huge difference for me and my F-cups!
7. Your sleep may be interrupted
Sleep issues can happen at any age, of course, and can happen for many reasons, including anxiety, too much caffeine and much more. For women, sleep issues in our 30s, 40s and 50s may be an early sign of perimenopause. Yes, perimenopause! Don't worry, your doctor can help by addressing any hormonal issues in a number of ways, from building muscle to HRT.
Regardless of how you address it, you deserve a good night's sleep!
8. You'll likely lose muscle definition
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It has to do with hormones, skin elasticity, and changes in adipose tissue and connective tissues, but the most important thing to remember is it's natural to not look as "cut" as we get older, as described in Lancet Journal. There's not a whole ton you can do about it except love your body and continue moving it.
There are great health-related reasons to continue building and maintaining muscle tone, including reducing the risk of bone mass loss and cardiovascular benefits, so definitely don't give up on exercise simply because your body doesn't respond like it used to. Personally, I've found that lifting relatively heavy weights has helped me in more ways that I can count, from confidence and more energy to better-fitting clothes.
9. You may experience 'brain fog'
I found a million excuses for my fatigue and spacey feelings, including my ADHD and lack of sleep. But, at its worst, it felt like I couldn't find words, couldn't connect concepts and ideas, and couldn't keep up with conversations. I talked to a psychiatrist, thinking it was depression (and it may have been) but he referred me to my OB/GYN to talk about hormones before anything else.
And, guess what? Now that I'm on HRT, I feel so much better. My brain is so much clearer and it's easier to get motivated. It's also easier for me to be happy, which has meant so much to me after a lifetime of battling clinical depression. The best news? New research indicates that Hormone Replacement Therapy is perfectly safe for most people and may even prevent some very serious age-related health conditions.
Regardless of how you treat it, find support from someone who not only believes you, but believes you deserve to feel like yourself again.
10. You may develop age spots or skin tone inconsistencies
Yes, you probably will end up with age spots — or, as my dermatologist calls them, "wisdom spots" (which is somehow worse!). Almost all of us have had some unprotected exposure to UV light, which affects our cells even years later, as shown by research reported by the Mayo Clinic.
If you don't like them, you can ask your dermo about how to treat them or try one of the many over-the-counter products. But it's also OK if you just let them be.
But they don't give you "bad skin" if you have them — after all, your skin works fine, it just has new stuff going on.
No matter what, research in the American Family Physician Journal advises you should have your skin checked for skin cancer regularly, as early detection is particularly helpful with skin cancers, making them much easier to treat. Trust me, I've been there.
11. It may be harder to maintain a lower BMI or lose weight
If you're interested in losing weight (which is your business and I'm not going to tell you what to do with your body), it'll probably be harder as you age. Again, it's about hormones and metabolism and stuff.
Dr. Medha Munshi, quoted in The New York Times explains, "Even those who remain active lose muscle mass every decade beginning in their 30s, research suggests, replacing it with fat. Muscles use up more calories than fat, so less muscle means a slower metabolism and the need for fewer calories."
Just remember, bigger bodies are not worse than smaller bodies. Not even your body. Someone will try to lie to you and say you're just not putting in enough effort to be thin, but I say just flip them the bird (in your mind or real life) and remember people's problems with your body are about them, not you.
12. You may want to remove or change your implants
Many of the women I know in real life who had breast implant surgery in their 20s hate their implants now and have either had their implants removed by choice or due to Breast Implant Illness or another medically significant side effect, like encapsulation or rupture, as described in Expert Review of Clinical Immunology. If you're going through this, I'm so sorry! It sucks. But you're not alone.
Of course, you may also love having implants and may decide to change sizes in either direction when you have yours replaced (because, generally, breast implants don't last a lifetime).
13. You may have hot flashes — and you might not even know it
As someone who used to battle a lot of anxiety, I first chalked my hot flashes up to panic. They come on similarly in that you start to feel things happening that are seemingly out of nowhere. Personally, a hot flash starts with my face flushing involuntarily, like a severe blush when you're embarrassed. You may find your palms sweating first, or your scalp.
For a while, I thought I was just anxious and would open the freezer and put bags of frozen fruit on my face. My mom walked in during one of these episodes and said, "Here we go!" And she was right.
I learned a handy trick while interviewing Dr. Laura Berman for one of our YourTango Summits, when one of my hot flashes struck. I started fanning myself with a piece of paper and she instantly knew what it was. She said, "Stop!" and instead of creating more heat by fanning myself, she guided me through three deep breaths with long exhales.
Now, when I feel them coming on, I do that, then I do a few little somatic movements to relax my body and it works quite well!
14. You will get wrinkles
The only way to avoid getting wrinkles is to die. That's just a fact. You can try to treat them with creams and chemical peels and that's fine. You can even get major plastic surgery to make you look less wrinkled, but I don't think it makes you look younger, just less wrinkly. Again, it is your business.
Wear sunscreen for sure, but otherwise please know your wrinkles are natural and you are still gorgeous.
No matter what you do, I guess my best advice is to try to love your skin and thank it for protecting your blood and guts for all these years. I found a good skincare routine involving gentle cleanser (I like Cetaphil for dry skin), a hyaluronic toner and a deep moisturizer. Then, of course, I apply my mineral sunscreen. It's simple, but it seems to make a big difference.
15. Your lips may get thinner
Some people notice their lips start looking less full as they age, and it's probably true due to the loss of collagen and bone mass that support the look of full lips, as explained by a study in Aesthetic Surgery Journal, as well as a breakdown of fat pads in our faces.
I have noticed this in myself, especially when I lost some weight due to a medication when I was 39. Fortunately, I've gained more weight lately and my face is honestly looking better for it.
16. Your libido may be affected
Dang hormones! Talk to your doctor; there may be ways to start feeling better if this is an unwanted change. It can be particularly annoying if it's caused by or exacerbated by vaginal issues, but doctors can often help and offer good ideas for how to recover.
Behavioral and relationship-based things can help. Just know you're not alone! For many women, HRT makes a huge difference when it comes to vaginal laxity, low libido and so many other related issues!
17. Your periods may become spotty, heavy or irregular
Speaking of hormones, you will eventually go through menopause. And honestly, it's great. Maybe not the side-effects, but the idea of moving past the "cycling" phase of life is appealing to a lot of us.
If you're like me, you learned very little about menopause or perimenopause. I knew old ladies didn't get their periods, but that was about it. But perimenopause begins many years before you will actually stop getting periods and many people (including me) even get pregnant and have babies while in perimenopause — so head's up, there are lots of "peri babies" running around!
You will likely experience other peri symptoms well before you start spotting, but everyone is different. So start tracking your spotting, flow days and cycles so you can start talking to your healthcare provider early.
18. You may get new stray hairs around your body and on your face
No, you're not gross. You're normal and they're caused by hormonal changes! Tweeze or laser or just leave them be. Your choice!
I've noticed that my face is full of blonde peach fuzz that I've never had before. I'm still deciding what to do about it, but lots of people choose to dermaplane regularly and swear it also has amazing benefits for your skin.
19. It may be harder to wear cute (but uncomfortable) shoes
Even those of us who used to be on our feet for hours at a time in 4-inch heels may find Birkenstocks and Cariumas a better choice. Even better, slip back into those Doc Martens!
Maybe because our tolerance for nonsense has decreased along with our interest in conforming to beauty standards, but it also may be due to changes in our bodies! Maybe it has to do with weight gain, circulation, a decrease in muscle mass, or even our joints.
Either way, if wearing heels or any other fashion you used to love sucks for you now, that is normal!
This list is far from complete — these are simply the main changes I've noticed in my own body.
It's important to note everyone's bodies are going to age differently, including the celebrities we see all over the media and in our timelines. Sure, they may be "aging well" naturally, but it's more than likely their wealth and fame allow them access to things like personal trainers, chefs, plastic surgery, and expensive skin treatments (including emSculpt and CoolSculpting!) us regular gals cannot afford.
One of the glories of aging, for me, has been my increased ability to let go of my anxieties over what others think of me and move past my youthful obsession with being beautiful or fashionable.
I hope I'm able to nurture my commitment to self-acceptance so I can truly love and accept my aging body. Not just for me, but also as an example for my daughter.
And maybe, by simply shouting this message from the rooftops, we can change the world and stop being so ashamed of growing older.
Joanna Schroeder is a parenting writer, editor, and media critic with bylines in The New York Times, The Boston Globe, Esquire, and more. Her forthcoming book Talk To Your Boys: 20 Crucial Conversations To Have With Your Tween & Teenage Sons will be available in 2025 via Workman Publishing.