6 Tiny Signs Someone Is Lying About You To Everyone
How to claim the truth about yourself.
Prostock-Studio | Canva Have you ever had the feeling that something has changed in your relationship with an individual or group? There's always a strong possibility that someone has spread lies about you that you're not aware of. And when people lie about you, it changes everything. Liars seek to diminish your value to another individual or organization and are very adept at casting aspersions. The lies don't have to be involved or extreme — they just have to cast enough "shade" to cause others to value the individual less. When people are jealous or feel threatened by your presence, they often spread lies that they hope will get you rejected by someone, removed from a group, or, at the very least, diminish your influence.
Here are 6 signs someone is lying about you to everyone:
1. Something changes in behavioral interaction
Pay attention to their behavior and body language. When you arrive, nobody says "hello" like they once did. Nobody extends their hand first or moves physically to greet you when you arrive. Assuming you have had no interaction with the individual or group before the behavioral interaction change, the only explanation would be that someone has undermined you in some way and to your detriment.
2. There's an increased silence in your presence that was not there before
When people don't talk in your presence, there's usually a reason. There may be things they want to discuss that they don't want you to know about. Or you may be the subject of what they are talking about and they don't want you to overhear their conversation.
3. There's less eye contact being made when you're talking to the individual or group
Pay attention to their facial expressions. When people change their behavior because of something someone has told them and not because of something the individual in question has done, they do feel some guilt. They know what they are doing is not based on anything the individual deserves and they feel badly about what they are doing, so it's difficult to look the person in the eye.
4. You feel left out
Some people also may no longer seek your opinion when making plans and decisions the way they did before. You will certainly have a sense of being left out.
5. The individual or group is not as warm and friendly as before
There's no informal touching when talking, greeting, or leaving. You may feel that they are being cold and aloof.
6. Something feels off
There's a feeling you can't put your finger on. Something is just off, but you know you've done nothing to warrant these changes. What do you do when you realize someone has been lying about you? Reinforce their positive feelings by maintaining your consistent behavior, and remaining above reproach. Don’t change your behavior by hopping on the defensive or distrusting them because that may play into the hands of the liar.
Do the same things you did before that encouraged the individual or group to bring you into their environment. Exhibit the same positive, friendly, informative behavior you did before their feelings seemed to change. Hopefully, you will be able to get to the bottom of things through the changed individual or a member of the changed group at some point in time, to see what the liar said or to get someone to confide in you what they suspect to be the problem. You should be able to outlast the lies and dispel their concerns sufficiently to raise questions about the individual trying to undermine your presence.
The more your behavior is contrary to the lie, the sooner people will realize they are in error and should be more concerned about the liar. There may be a point at which you can jokingly state, "If I didn’t know better, I would think someone was spreading lies about me behind my back." Someone may come and tell you what happened. The important thing is to stay a part of the group or maintain your relationship with the changed individual long enough to clear your name determine who the culprit is and expose them for the liar they are.
You can only do that if you maintain a positive and productive demeanor and presence so that you will be kept around long enough to get to the bottom of the lies and make the individual pay for what they did. Do not allow your hurt feelings or anger to get the best of you. Never allow your adrenaline to supersede your clarity. Keep it together to rectify the situation. Success is the best revenge. The culprit is trying to get rid of you, so if you leave or act out, you will enable them to justify your removal. Do not, under any circumstances, give them the satisfaction of seeing you out of control. Just hang in there long enough to win!
Parthenia Izzard is a psychologist, Certified Natural Healthcare Practitioner, author, radio talk show host, and the founder and President of Alternative Medicine Therapies.