7 Charming Things Women Wish Men Would Do To Boost Our Confidence
Confidence shouldn't come from men, but it can certainly help.
Zoran Zeremski | Shutterstock A confident woman is an attractive woman and who wouldn’t want to date or be married to an attractive woman? Well, gentlemen, let me tell you can help a lady’s confidence, or you can crush it with the good times she has planned for you, in a second.
I want to share the top seven things men need to know about women’s self-confidence. It will help you build it up and avoid those little mistakes that are can hurt her self-esteem (and your relationship) long-term.
Here are 7 charming things women wish men would do to boost our confidence:
1. Lay off the teasing
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We aren’t in elementary school anymore where showing affection and getting women’s attention was through teasing. Teasing them and poking them is not what we want.
Gretchen Rubin over at the Happiness Project has uncovered fascinating new research suggesting that feelings about teasing are pretty standard: teasers tend to believe their comments are less hurtful than the ones being teased think. Here’s the research that she cites from David Dunning’s book, Self-Insight: Road Blocks and Detours on the Path to Knowing Thyself:
"People commonly tease each other, but it appears that people who are teased misunderstand the intentions of the person doing the teasing. Often, teasing is done with affection and playfulness, and teasers attempt to convey these intentions through subtle nonverbal cues. However, those who are being teased tend to miss these benign aims. When they describe a time they teased their roommate, people tend to describe the action as more humorous and lighthearted than the person being teased, who instead rates such incidents as more malicious and annoying. The good intentions of teasers are just not as obvious as teasers believe.”
2. Compliment her genuinely
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Women want to be complimented, even if it is as simple as saying, “You look beautiful today.” If you find yourself stumbling over words, that is a sign. Simple and sweet is always best.
3. Encourage her style — and comfort
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Most women don’t dress for men. We dress how we feel comfortable. Have you ever noticed when women try clothes on they check to see how their behind looks as well as the top half? It is what is in our minds that matters. And it’s up to you to continue to encourage us.
It takes women quite a while in their lives to feel comfortable with themselves. Once we understand this, we own it. Depending on the woman when she asks, “How does this look on me?” be sure to choose your answers wisely.
A 2021 study found that the detrimental effect of negative appearance-related commentary and teasing on body dissatisfaction is well documented. Negative comments may reinforce sociocultural standards of beauty by promoting their internalization.
Positive comments on body weight and shape seemed to play a protective role regarding the fear of being abandoned and not accepted by the partner, which negatively influenced the couple’s satisfaction.
4. Give her time to grow and support her while she does
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When you meet a woman that is evolving, be sure to hold on tight. She will surely take you for a ride. This sky is limitless. Remember watered plants grow the quickest and the tallest.
5. Let her be herself
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If you are not comfortable with the way your lady is presenting herself to the world, talk to her. Communicating is key. Relationship science contends that the quality of couples’ communication predicts relationship satisfaction over time. At times when couples experienced less damaging communication than usual, they were also more satisfied with their relationship than was typical.
A 2022 study found that positive communication was rarely associated with relationship satisfaction at the within-person level. These findings indicate that within-person changes in negative communication primarily correlate with, rather than predict, relationship satisfaction.
6. Turn off the TV every once in a while and focus on her
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Can you turn the television off every once in a while? What we have to offer you is much more than a television show. It can if you let it, be life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
7. Love her the way she wants to be loved, not the way that you think she should be
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I’m sure you can agree there is a difference between a girl and a woman. The girl will allow you to figure it out on your own. The woman will show you exactly what needs to be done.
If you follow all of the above, you will have an attractive, confident partner who will be sure to not only keep you on your toes but will take care of you and your needs too.
In a 2022 study published by the American Psychological Association, researchers found that the self-esteem effect held across age, gender, race/ethnicity, time lag between assessments, year of data collection, and type of self-esteem measure, but the effect was stronger when participants reported on relationships in general compared with relationships with specific partners (e.g., parents, peers, and romantic partner), and more vital for self-reported than for informant-reported relationship quality.
Holly Dresson writes about mental health. She has been a speaker since 2018 on the topics of self-love, mental health, personal development, and parental equality.