11 Things People Brag About That Actually Make Them Look Desperate
Truly happy people who are confident in their life choices don't feel the need to brag about them.
Nicoleta Ionescu / Shutterstock When we hear people boasting about certain aspects of their life, some of us may perceive it as a sign of their pride and confidence. However, there are many things people brag about that actually make them look desperate. When some people feel insecure about the things in their life, they may feel the need to overcompensate to project the false image of a perfect living. While the achievements and qualities themselves they brag about are not off-putting, it is the way they present them that often makes others uncomfortable.
In some cases, it almost appears as if they’re trying too hard to appear impressive or gain approval. So if you ever hear people excessively bragging about these things, keep in mind that they don’t actually have them, and they are relying on your validation to avoid looking desperate.
Here are 11 things people brag about that actually make them look desperate
1. Their social media follower count.
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Since desperate people thrive off of attention from others, they view having a high social media follower count as an accomplishment.
Constantly bragging about how many followers they have on Instagram or TikTok may reflect their deep concern with online image rather than real-life social connections.
No matter how high someone’s follower count may be, they may be some of the loneliest people in the world. Having hundreds of social media followers does not compare to having a close-knit friend group whom you know on a face-to-face level.
2. Their expensive purchases.
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People constantly showing off the latest designer items or spending splurges may be a sign that they are attempting to prove their wealth through material possessions. They want others to know how financially wealthy they are, even if this is not truly the case.
Sometimes, they do not even have the adequate funds to make these big purchases, but believe that doing so will make them appear wealthier than others. However, expensive purchases are sometimes rooted in a desire to project an image of success or status, rather than genuine happiness or fulfillment.
A study from Harvard Business School and Boston College suggested that splurging on luxury items may actually spark a deep unhappiness. This is because the “psychological cost of luxury” takes away from any enjoyment someone would otherwise get from purchases.
3. Their ‘perfect’ lifestyle.
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When a person shares how amazing their life is in every possible way, it may be a cover-up for dissatisfaction they are not willing to admit with their current lifestyle.
If they are constantly sharing pictures of their expensive vacations and lavish possessions along with a caption that highlights their luck and seemingly effortless way of achieving it, they may be miserable with some of their choices and are seeking validation from others.
When people are authentically happy with their lifestyle choices, they often don’t feel the need to boast about it with the rest of the world, reveling in their happiness in private.
4. Their romantic relationships.
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If you see someone constantly posting pictures of themselves and their partner seemingly happy with each other, gushing about how much they love them, keep in mind that that same couple very likely had a screaming match just hours earlier about what to do for dinner that they conveniently left out of social media.
Over-sharing about how great their romantic relationship is or bragging about their dating life can seem desperate for attention and validation from others.
Researchers from Albright College refer to this behavior from couples on social media as “Relationship Contingent Self-Esteem (RCSE),” or in other words, “an unhealthy form of self-esteem that depends on how well your relationship is going.”
“These results suggest that those high in RCSE feel a need to show others, their partners and perhaps themselves that their relationship is ‘OK’ and, thus, they are OK,” Albright assistant professor of psychology Gwendolyn Seidman, PhD., shared with Inc.
5. Their job title.
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People who cannot seem to stop talking about how much their boss loves them and how often they are being promoted may be facing a vastly different reality. They will sometimes leave out context while bragging about their work life while repeatedly emphasizing their high-status position or job title.
This suggests that they are trying to impress others with their professional identity, rather than having their accomplishments at work speak for themselves.
Bragging about their jobs can be a useful way for desperate people to project their ego and false sense of superiority, especially when they attempt to put their colleagues down with their so-called work achievements. Their behavior is often a sign of inferiority complex rather than authentic self-confidence.
6. Their physical appearance.
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Constantly showing off your muscles and toned abs screams deep insecurities about your physical appearance in some cases.
While personal achievements in health are great, people who overly brag about weight loss or how perfect their body is can come off as seeking constant approval from others, rather than being confident in their own skin.
They may need others to tell them “You look great!” if they are not truly feeling like they are.
7. How ‘busy’ they are.
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People may love to overemphasize just how hectic their schedules are to prove to others how committed they are and how they prioritize hard-work over well-being. However, constantly keeping not the achievement they may think it is.
Instead, it just makes people appear as stressed and overwhelmed.
This phenomenon has been dubbed as “busy bragging,” by experts. A recent study published by Personnel Psychology revealed that when workers brag about how busy they are, they seem less, instead of more, competent. It often establishes an “I’m better than you” dynamic, and nobody likes a show off!
8. Their wealth.
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Constantly talking about how much money they make, how much they own or how rich they are can be a sign of insecurity. These people often use wealth to define their value since they may fall short in other areas of their life.
They may not have a lot of friends, good memories or healthy well-being and need something that makes them feel superior. Money may buy you a lot of material things, but it can never buy a strong sense of self-worth.
9. Their intelligence.
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For some people, their high IQ may be one of their only defining characteristics. However, bragging about their academic achievements, degrees, or intelligence can often make them come across as pretentious, especially if they are attempting to outshine others.
While intelligence may open the door for a lot of opportunities, it does not open the door to authentic happiness. They may not even be as intelligent as they claim.
A study from Pepperdine University suggests that people who are truly knowledgeable tend to exhibit intellectual humility, recognizing the limits of their own knowledge, while those who brag about their intelligence may be intellectually overconfident, believing they know more than they actually do.
10. Their travel experiences.
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When people are trying to prove that they have a lifestyle others might envy, they may constantly talk about their travel experiences.
Bragging about exotic vacations or how many places they’ve visited may, but not always, signal their deep dissatisfaction with their home lives. Therefore, they constantly seek to escape to new places while simultaneously flaunting everywhere they've already been.
11. Their ability to handle stress.
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When people boast about handling stressful situations without breaking down, it often comes across more as an insult than an accomplishment worth sharing. We are all human, and it is perfectly acceptable to have an emotional reaction dealing with stress. This doesn’t mean that we are less than those who may be able to deal with stress easier.
Some people may just have different approaches to life and different ways of handling stress. Those who are genuinely confident in their stress-handling abilities do not feel the need to brag about to others.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
