Therapist Explains Why 91% Of People's New Year's Resolutions Fail — And It Is Not Because They Are Lazy Or Unmotivated
Instead of "New Year, New Me," change your mindset to, "New Year, Same Me" while making appropriate adjustments.
Bluehousestudio | Shutterstock On January 1, many of us promise ourselves that this year will be the one we stick to that organic diet, finally do that triathlon, or actually quit that bad habit. However, by February, most of our goals have turned into a mere memory.
If you can never seem to uphold your New Year’s resolutions, you are not a failure and you're certainly not alone. One therapist explained why so many people drop the ball when it comes to their resolutions, even if they are motivated to stick with them.
The therapist explained why 91% of people's New Year's resolutions fail.
Dr. Nicole Nasr, a psychologist and the founder of Journey, assured those who can't seem to stick with their resolutions that they are not lazy or unmotivated. Rather, they are practicing the wrong mindset.
Every year, people zero in on the mantra, “New Year, New Me.” However, Nasr encouraged people to retire this way of thinking and replace it with, “New Year, Same Me.” Rather than reinvent yourself, she wants you to nurture who you already are.
"There is something about beginnings that gives us the impression of a clean slate. It’s a social construct that comes with its own energy,” she wrote in a blog post.
“Unfortunately, what we don’t realize," she continued, "is that any pursuit based on such a shallow motivation — like the ‘clean slate’ effect — just isn’t strong enough to sustain real changes.”
She encouraged people to consider the intentions behind their resolutions.
“Maybe healing isn’t about forcing change," Nasr suggested. "Maybe it’s about understanding why you do what you do until the change feels natural."
Nasr noted that vague resolutions tend to fail if you don't examine the "why" behind them. For example, if one of your resolutions is to quit smoking, Nasr claimed that it would be near impossible to achieve unless you asked yourself why you smoke.
“If the reason you smoke is tied to not knowing how to regulate your nervous system, and your nervous system is constantly triggered for some reason… you need to address that reason. Otherwise, the smoking habit just returns,” she wrote.
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The same goes for any other goal, like a desire to eat healthier, lose weight, or exercise more — some of the most common resolutions in 2025.
"Turn 'I want to lose weight' into 'I want to feel more energized and vibrant in my body,' shifting the focus to a broader, more meaningful aim," she advised.
To make the changes you want for yourself in 2025, the therapist recommended doing away with New Year’s resolutions and instead opting for end-of-year reflections.
Feeling like you must start over every year can harm your self-esteem rather than help it.
“It gives this false impression that if you’re not able to maintain your resolutions, it’s because you are not disciplined enough," Nasr explained. "In reality, you might just be chasing a goal for reasons that aren’t genuine to you — or you haven’t addressed what’s really driving your behavior."
So, instead of setting goals, focus on self-examination and reflection. Instead of labeling yourself a failure, acknowledge why you may have had setbacks and adjust your approach for the year ahead.
“I see what helped and what didn’t, what I have learned and what I’m still curious about," she said. "It’s more useful than forcing an entirely ‘new me’ on January 1st."
Life is ever-changing and unpredictable. Plans you may have set for yourself in early January may not be feasible by late February. When this happens, remember to be kind to yourself. Stop focusing on what you should be doing and instead focus on how you can change your habits to make your goals a reality.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.