8 Texts To Never Send A Partner, No Matter How Angry You Are

I completely understand the lure of technology, and how easy it is to shoot off a text as opposed to picking up the phone and talking. But it’s a problem that we’ve become so dependent on technology and gotten lazy with the way we communicate our most important thoughts and feelings. People shouldn’t be dealing with major arguments and problems through texts or getting passive-aggressive or angry in what becomes a silly texting showdown.

Here are 8 texts you should never send to your partner, no matter how angry are you:

1. "Why are you mad at me?"

woman staring nervously at phone Alex Green | Pexels

If he truly is angry with you, it's not something you're going to effectively sort out through a texting match. Odds are one or both of you will end up feeling angrier if you send or respond to this kind of text. If you're moderately angry, do it over the phone; if it's a major issue, wait to meet in person to deal with it.

2. "Why aren't you responding to me? Are you not into me anymore?”

light from phone shining on young womans face mikoto.raw Photographer | Pexels

If you are in a position with someone where you're feeling insecure, sending texts that don't get returned will make you feel worse: more insecure, anxious, and frustrated. Don't get caught in an obsessive-compulsive cycle of texting when your date isn't responding to you.

Make a quick phone call before you take a brief hiatus and plan on leaving a voicemail: "Hey there, I'll check in with you next week, hope you have a good week." Take a week off to focus on other stuff, and accept that this relationship may or may not work out. With my approach, at least you can get off the hamster wheel of desperate texting.

3. "I saw that picture you posted online of your 'friend'"

woman holding phone while staring into space Diva Plavalaguna | Pexels

This type of text message is most common among teenagers, but a handful of 20-somethings will send this kind of text, too. I know we all know the truth: This is very childish behavior, so let's not practice this one any longer. Be direct. Be direct. Be direct.

According to research, the ease with which individuals can access information about and monitor their partners in the digital age clearly demonstrates the importance of understanding processes related to jealousy in the digital arena.

Individuals with attachment anxiety were more likely to use social media to increase relationship visibility, and individuals high in anxious and fearful attachment expressed more uncertainty about their relationships and engaged in more interpersonal electronic surveillance and jealousy induction.

4. "We're done. The relationship is over"

woman holding phone while sitting on couch RDNE Stock project | Pexels

You probably don't need me to explain why you shouldn’t break up in a text, no matter what he or she did, or how much you truly want to end it. We're not objects, so we shouldn’t discard people from our lives through text as if they're trash that can simply be thrown out.

I don't want you to do it, and I don't want anyone to do it to you, either. Let's all agree, from now on, to bury this childish, nasty behavior. We are adults!

One survey from The American Psychological Assocation found that 88 percent of men and 18 percent of women have broken up with someone over text. Whether it's via Twitter, email, or a 27-second phone call, research finds how it's done matters. In other words, the method is a part of the message itself.

5. "Where were you last night? You think you can just stand me up?"

woman leaning against table on phone Ivan Samkov | Pexels

First, don't be so distrustful and jump to conclusions. Because there may have been an emergency, always give your date the benefit of the doubt. Instead, text this: "I hope you're okay. I wasn't sure if there was an emergency last night or if I got stood up. Just let me know what happened, and I hope you’re okay." If you don’t hear anything back, it’s safe to say that your date may not win any awards for social graces, so move the heck on.

6. "Don’t ever speak to me again"

serious woman on phone Andrea Piacquadio | Pexels

Honestly, if you fire off such an extreme emotional reaction, you're probably doing it impulsively and may very well change your mind later. Texts aren't real conversations; you shouldn't ever be texting about anything that is intensely emotional, especially communications that involve anger. Texting is not the place for it, period.

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7. "I don’t like you hanging out with so-and-so"

woman scrolling through phone Marcus Aurelius | Pexels

I'd like to believe that this kind of text message is only used by teenagers who are experiencing the intense emotions that come with love for the first time, but I have clients in their 50s who will occasionally send this kind of jealous, angry text. If he doesn't want you hanging out with so-and-so, he shouldn't be addressing the issue by text; he needs to be a grown-up and pick up the phone, or wait to discuss it in person.

8. Any text where you call someone a nasty name

serious woman on phone and holding mug Andrea Piacquadio | Pexels

People shouldn't call each other nasty names in person, but doing it by text is even worse and more cowardly. Please don’t do this with your dates.

The general themes in these text messages to never send include intense emotions, sexual content, and starting arguments. Texting can be highly impulsive, so follow these rules and your relationship will be better off because of it.

Eharmony is an online dating site dedicated to helping people find true love that comes with a lasting relationship.