Teen Tells His Mom To Stop Wearing Makeup And Start Dressing 'Frumpy' Because His Friends Find Her Attractive
Women are never responsible for the actions of men... or boys.
Marian Fil | Shutterstock A mom is unsure of how to handle the demands made by her 12-going-on 13-year-old son regarding her appearance. On multiple occasions, he asked her to change the way she dressed to combat comments made by his friends.
The teen told his mom to stop wearing makeup and to start dressing 'frumpy' because his friends find her attractive.
In her since-deleted Reddit post, the mom explained that her son recently urged her to stop wearing makeup and start dressing more modestly because he finds it embarrassing that his friends think she is attractive.
While she wanted to respect his feelings on the matter, she was unwilling to compromise her sense of self to make him feel more comfortable around his peers.
pikselstock | Shutterstock
"I dress conservatively and simply put myself together every day," the mom explained. "I don’t wear anything too flashy or revealing, but I do like to enhance my features with makeup."
"He wants me to change my appearance to avoid any further embarrassment," she continued. "I’ve told him that it’s not my fault if his friends make inappropriate remarks and that he shouldn’t feel ashamed because of their actions."
Since her son's demand, she has attempted to have open conversations and acknowledge that his feelings are valid. However, she also explained that how she chooses to dress and present herself to the world is not up to him to decide.
It makes sense that her son would be embarrassed and uncomfortable about his friends making inappropriate comments about his mother; however, the problem here lies with his friends. Asking a woman, even your mother, to tone down the way she dresses to appease men (or preteen boys) is both unfair and unrealistic.
Commenters insisted that the mother should use this instance as a learning lesson for her son.
Women are never responsible for the actions of men, and this is an opportunity for her to teach her son that valuable lesson. He needs to respect her as both his mother and a human being.
Rather than suggesting a woman change her appearance, the boy should learn to challenge his friend's disrespectful behavior.
"You gotta teach him that men and boys have no say in how women and girls dress," one Reddit user advised. "Explain to him how sexist it is that he expects you to dress differently just because of how his friends behave. Talk to him about how his friends are being disrespectful to you, and that behavior like this towards a peer could qualify as sexual harassment."
"The last thing you want in the future is for your son to start telling his future girlfriend to stop wearing skirts and makeup because his friends are saying something," another commenter pointed out. "He needs to know that if it’s bothering him, he needs to say something to his friends. If they’re still trolling, then are those really the friends he wants?"
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.