9 Subtle Traits Of People Who Lack Integrity
Without a strong moral code, there's no room for integrity.
YAKOBCHUK VIACHESLAV | Shutterstock The American Psychological Association defines integrity as "The quality of moral consistency, honesty, and truthfulness with oneself and others."
Having integrity means that you have a strong moral compass and act according to the direction it points you in. You consider how your actions affect others, and you work hard not to hurt anyone else, either on purpose or by being careless. Above all, you’re true to yourself and what you believe.
Integrity is an important quality to have, yet some people are less sincere and honest than others.
Here are 9 subtle traits of people who lack integrity
1. They don't admit when they're wrong
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People with integrity are willing to hold themselves accountable when they've made a mistake, whereas people who lack integrity don't admit when they're wrong.
In a sociological study looking at wrongness admission, researchers defined the concept as "A public disclosure that one has been wrong about a belief or attitude and has subsequently changed that attitude or belief." They noted that many people avoid admitting wrongfulness because they think others will view them as incompetent, yet it turns out that the opposite is true.
Researchers determined that wrongness admission led to more positive competency ratings, showing that people who admit when they're wrong are seen as friendlier and more agreeable by the people around them. The study also linked admitting wrongness to being more honest, more humble, and more open to new experiences.
Someone who lacks integrity is less likely to admit when they're wrong, even though there are positive benefits to doing so.
Researchers from Ohio State University discovered that when business leaders reflect on what they've learned from their mistakes, they show more humility, which makes them more effective as managers.
"Understanding your own blind spots and vulnerabilities can help make you a better manager and leader," said Jasmine Hu, the lead author of the study. "When leaders take what they learn from mistakes to improve and reach goals, that is what seems to be most valuable. That builds humility, and teams respond to that. It makes team members look for ways they can improve."
Since a person without integrity won't admit their mistakes, they're less able to grow and change as an individual, which affects the community they're in.
2. They test boundaries
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When a person continually crosses someone's boundaries, it's an indication that they lack integrity.
Boundaries go beyond just physical and emotional guidelines. People can set material boundaries, which are limits around their possessions. They can set intellectual boundaries, which have to do with how thoughts and opinions are shared and discussed.
Someone who doesn't respect boundaries will show that disrespect by seeing how far they can push the person and ignoring the related consequences. A person who doesn't have integrity will often have fluid boundaries for themselves, and struggle to understand and uphold other people's limitations, too.
3. They're unreliable
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Another indication that a person doesn't have integrity is that they aren't dependable.
Being unreliable can present itself in different ways. Some people show their lack of integrity by breaking promises and not showing you support when you've asked for it. Others are unreliable when it comes to basic aspects of community care, like being honest and trustworthy.
Those who lack integrity often have a pliant relationship to telling the truth, which means they're willing to lie when it helps them get ahead. Relationship expert Lisa Lieberman-Wang explained that honest communication is a key part of feeling secure with another person. The more openly a couple is with communication, the stronger their bond will grow.
It's almost impossible to forge a lasting connection with someone who doesn't have integrity, because you can't rely on them to be open or honest with you.
4. They spread rumors
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A person without integrity is more likely to spread rumors about other people, because this form of negative gossip makes them feel superior. The ways we communicate with one another can either help or harm us, and rumors are certainly harmful, as they're not based in truth.
A study in the journal Language and Communication defined rumors as "an individual's verbalized interpretation of a problematic situation that the general public considers to be emotionally-charged." The study noted that rumors are an unreliable and "wildly distorted form of communication that spreads rapidly and mysteriously."
Quite often, rumors are spread by people who don't have a strong sense of ethics, because they're willing to disseminate lies to anyone who will believe them.
5. They're not generous
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There are different types of generosity, and they don't all involve giving money away. Some people have little money to spare but they're giving of their time and energy to causes that matter to them.
Volunteering to help others, whether on a small or large scale, is an indication that someone has integrity. In contrast, a person who refuses to go out of their way for anyone else demonstrates a clear lack of integrity.
A person who isn't generous tends to see the world in a negative light. They don't trust other people, in part because they're operating from within their own limited worldview. Because they don't have integrity, they assume that no one else has it, either, which is why they're so unwilling to help anyone but themselves.
6. They're self-centered
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A trait that shows a person's lack of integrity and generosity is how selfish they are. A self-centered person takes from others without giving back anything.
In a friendship, a person without integrity is usually the one who uses their friends for emotional support but is never available for them in return. In a romantic relationship, someone who's self-centered always puts their own needs before what their partner needs, which creates an inherent sense of imbalance.
In order to put themselves in someone else's shoes, people need to have a strong sense of integrity. Without integrity, people are less likely to think outside of their own needs and rigid perspective.
7. They're impolite
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You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat other people. When you're out at a restaurant, pay attention to the way the people you're with talk to the server. Are they demanding and impatient, or are they kind and understanding?
Being polite is about more than just saying "please" and "thank you," though those phrases are very important in relaying kindness and appreciation. At the core of the issue, having good manners means that you respect other people because of their common humanity and you don't judge them based on superficial reasons.
A poll from the UK found that 85% of people there value teaching their kids good manners, whereas in the U.S., only 52% of people reported that good manners are important to teach younger generations.
A person without integrity overlooks other people. Their weak moral compass means that they don't give a lot of thought to how they treat others, so good manners tend to fall by the wayside.
8. They need external validation
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A person with integrity also has a solid sense of self-worth, and they don't rely on anyone else to feel good about themselves. Yet someone without integrity seeks the approval of other people, and they base their self-esteem around external validation.
Having strong core values does more than give people a guide for how to treat others; they also create a blueprint for how you think about yourself. True self-love can only come from within, but a lack of integrity makes people try to impress others, while disregarding how they feel about themselves.
9. They're apathetic
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A person lacking integrity will also lack empathy and compassion. Instead of caring about others, they're indifferent to other people's experiences. It's not that they're cruel or purposefully mean, they just don't really care.
When a person doesn't have a strong moral code, it means they don't develop integrity, or the kindness and understanding that comes along with it.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture analysis and all things to do with the entertainment industry.