Stay-At-Home Dad Asks His Wife To Quit Her Job As A Doctor Because He Couldn’t Handle It After Only 2 Days
He claimed that he's too "overwhelmed" by all of the responsibilities that come with being a stay-at-home parent.
christinarosepix | Shutterstock Parenting in this day and age can be quite complicated, especially with so many obstacles from expensive childcare to a lack of resources for single parents and parents living paycheck to paycheck. However, parents need to be on the same page when raising children because it's so easy for things to go awry.
Unfortunately, a 36-year-old woman admitted in a Reddit post that she and her husband have been in a bit of a disagreement after he took back a promise he made about taking care of their baby.
He asked his wife to quit her job as a doctor because he couldn't handle being a stay-at-home dad.
"I am a neurologist and I absolutely love my patients and my job. I believe there is no greater honor in life than being able to help others. The road to my medical degree was not easy, and it was paved with many rejections," she began in her Reddit post.
During her third year of medical school, she met her husband, and the two have now been married for four years.
From the very beginning of their relationship, she was upfront about having children. Her number one dream was to adopt, and her husband seemingly understood this.
"However, after his friend had a baby boy last year, he began to really press me on having children. I was initially very against this idea because I was just beginning my career; I wanted to wait a few more years before revisiting the topic of children." She ended up finding out at the end of August 2023 that she was pregnant.
After having conversations with her husband, they both decided to keep the baby, and he agreed to quit his job and become a stay-at-home dad until their daughter was old enough to start preschool.
She admitted that several factors went into the decision.
Finances played a major role in determining who would stay home with their daughter. She had just opened her own medical practice and her career was about to take off.
Additionally, she had no desire to be a stay-at-home mother, and it was no secret that she wanted to work.
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Finally, she wasn't comfortable with putting her daughter in daycare until she was old enough to express herself verbally. She pointed out that she didn't "trust people enough" to leave her daughter in their hands.
While not exactly common, more and more dads have started staying home and leaving the workforce.
According to an August 2023 Pew Research Center survey, between 1989 and 2021, the share of mothers who were not employed for pay decreased slightly, from 28% to 26%. Over the same span, the share of fathers who were not working increased from 4% to 7%.
Due to these diverging trends, dads now represent 18% of stay-at-home parents, up from 11% in 1989. Experts discovered that the rise of stay-at-home dads is largely due to economic factors.
"Women’s earning potential has risen considerably over this time as their educational attainment has steadily increased," Jocelyn Wikle, assistant professor at Brigham Young University’s School of Family Life, told The Hill. "These economic realities mean that for some families having a stay-at-home father and breadwinner mother is best."
Nearly three months postpartum, she's getting ready to go back to work.
"This weekend, I left my husband alone with our daughter while I attended a medical conference out of state. The conference was amazing, but when I returned home, my husband began acting weird," she recalled.
When she confronted him about his behavior, he immediately broke down and said that he couldn't handle being a stay-at-home dad anymore. He expressed how he felt "trapped" and "overwhelmed" during the two days that she was gone for her medical conference. He confessed that he wanted her to extend her maternity leave so that he could go back to work.
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Of course, she didn't want to hear that. When she argued about what they were supposed to do with their daughter, he claimed that she could quit her job and work from home.
She immediately shut down the idea and became quite angry with her husband, telling him that if this was going to be his attitude the entire time, she would've never agreed to have a child with him.
Being a stay-at-home parent is hard.
It's a full-time job that requires attention and does not allow for breaks or days off. It's understandable that her husband would potentially feel overwhelmed; however, she shouldn't have to give up her career because he can't handle the responsibilities of being a father.
She never hid her desires, both maternally and professionally. If the roles were reversed, she would likely be lambasted for not appreciating her husband as a provider. Hindsight, unfortunately, is 20/20, and baby makes three. That means this family needs to come to a resolution for the childcare conundrum they currently find themselves in.
The best solution between the two of them would be to come to a compromise.
Since she makes more money than her husband, looking into childcare might be the best solution. There are so many services and companies out there that have in-depth vetting processes that can put her mind at ease when it comes to leaving her daughter in the hands of a stranger.
Perhaps the solution is as simple as dad works from home and they hire a nanny so he is present, although not actively providing childcare.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.