If A Man Is Doing These 10 Things, Psychology Says You're Not Even On His Radar
You're barely a person to a man like this.
Amir Riazipour | Unsplash There is nothing more hurtful than realizing the same man who used to prioritize you now sees you as an afterthought. However, it happens to many of us, no matter how we try to make sure they still see us as part of their family.
As bad as it sounds, there’s only so much you can do to fix things and, in most cases, it’s not salvageable once it gets this way. I ought to know — it happened to me. Are you worried that it’s time to walk away because of this issue in your relationship? If you notice a man doing any of these things, they are all signs you're irrelevant to him and your relationship definitely won't last.
If a man is doing these things, you're not even on his radar:
1. You have to regularly remind him about relationship concerns
After you remind him again about your concern for the relationship, he continually puts it off, shrugs it off, and gives you lip service over it. A good sign that you’ve lost relevance with him is how he handles issues that upset you deeply.
If he constantly refuses to confront issues, he’s saying that your needs are irrelevant to him and that he doesn’t care enough to fix the issue. Should this be the case, leaving (and staying gone) is your best option. You don’t need that in your life.
2. You have to force him to go out socially with you
Dragana Gordic / Shutterstock
Do you feel like you’d have to beg, plead, and cajole him just to spend time with him and his family? Does it feel like he just doesn’t want to do anything with your friends?
This is one of the signs you're irrelevant to him, that he no longer thinks of you as relevant in a “wifey” way, and that he’s trying to fade you out of his life before he dumps you.
3. He regularly bails on you
Anybody who regularly bails on you doesn’t care about you enough to legitimately make you a priority anymore. At this point, you’re more or less his afterthought or his “in case of boredom” issue.
Research suggests that consistently feeling like someone is bailing on you can lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, increased stress, and difficulty trusting others. Such behavior can strain or destroy relationships, as the constant letdowns can lead to resentment and a lack of emotional security.
4. You feel like you need to beg for his attention
If this happens, it’s time to go. Like, yesterday. This does not happen in healthy relationships, and if it’s happening to you, you need to bail and find someone who won’t shatter your self-esteem that way.
5. He makes plans with his friends but doesn’t bother telling you
If he does tell you, he never tells you until the last moment. This is a sign that what you want to do is no longer relevant, particularly if he used to call and ask you to come along beforehand. If you’re in a relationship and this happens, then you can bet your bottom dollar that it’s a sign that you’re no longer relevant to him.
6. He says he's too busy to go on a date with you
But his social media suggests otherwise. At this point, you should probably be aware that he isn’t interested in you. If he was, you would probably take priority over sitting at home with a beer. He’s just not that into you or not that into putting in dating effort to be worth it for you.
This scenario can be interpreted as a mismatch between words and actions, potentially suggesting inconsistency or dishonesty, and can lead to feelings of disrespect or disappointment in the relationship. A 2021 study found that in some cases, this behavior could be a form of manipulation, where the person uses the busy excuse to avoid commitment or responsibility while still engaging in social media activities that could be seen as dating.
7. He doesn't tell his friends about you
If a guy makes a point of just calling you “a friend” or not even telling his friends who you are, you don't matter to him.
8. You’re pretty sure if you stopped putting in the effort, your relationship would grind to a halt
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If you’re getting this feeling, chances are that you’re right and that the person you’re dating or interested in isn’t worth the effort. Chasing around a disinterested guy is a self-esteem killer, and frankly, no one has time for that.
Research suggests that feeling like a relationship would end if you stopped putting in effort can lead to increased stress, anxiety, low self-esteem, and relationship dissatisfaction. Talk to your partner about your feelings and concerns. Open and honest communication can help address the underlying issues and find solutions.
9. He says affection isn’t really his thing
Even the biggest, scariest, manliest men out there will show affection to the ones they love and care about. If he’s not being affectionate towards you, then you’re no longer relevant to him. The same can be said about talking. People who are in love talk to people.
10. You aren't official
The relationship is so casual that even an FWB situation doesn't accurately describe it. This is the sign that you’re not anyone to him; you’re just a person he sleeps with once in a while.
Couples who don't act 'official' may experience lower relationship satisfaction, increased stress, and potential mental health issues like anxiety and depression. A 2023 study explained that unclear expectations and a lack of commitment can lead to poor communication and misunderstandings, as partners may not know what to expect.
When you add up all the signs, it should be pretty clear if you have relevance in his life or not. If the answer is no, you don't have anything special and are at best an afterthought in the relationship to him, then it is time to move on from this Mr. Wrong.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
