If Someone Does Any These 4 Things Often, A Psychologist Says They’re Taking You For Granted
You deserve an equal give and take, and these four behaviors are the opposite.
fizkes | Shutterstock Being taken for granted is one of the worst feelings, especially if you've given your all to the relationship or partnership in question. More often than not, it leaves you feeling blindsided, especially if you're the type to always assume the best of people. Thankfully, there are a handful of red flags you can catch if you know what to keep an eye out for.
Perhaps the worst part of someone not appreciating you is that you always have to learn the lesson the hard way. Much like how the other party doesn't know what they have until it's gone, the person being taken for granted often has no idea they've been shortchanged until something big and explosive happens to reveal the situation.
However, psychologist Ziad Roumy said there are four signals a person sends that indicate their appreciation for you has turned into entitlement.
A psychologist shared four warning signs you're being taken for granted.
If you start seeing one of these four behaviors, it might be time for a conversation — or maybe even to walk away.
1. They don't respect your time.
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Perhaps they're always late for everything, no matter how often you tell them it hurts you. Or, maybe they cancel every meet-up and event at a moment's notice.
"They'll assume that you're always gonna be available whenever they need you," Roumy explained in a TikTok, which shows a fundamental lack of respect — one they probably don't even recognize they have because they're so certain they've got you wrapped around their finger.
Sure, everyone is late now and then — some of us more than others — but there's a difference between a simple human foible and a consistent dismissal of your feelings. Actions speak louder than words, as they say, and when they don't add up, it's usually for a reason.
2. They get annoyed when you say no.
Yikes — this one is super revealing. Nowadays, everyone's constantly talking about setting boundaries, but what gets talked about far less is how people tend to react when you set them. In short, most people don't like it very much and even take it personally.
"It's when they expect and don't appreciate," Roumy said. "They expect you to help them and do things for them and forget that you have your own needs and priorities." The minute you prioritize your own needs, they have a problem with it.
But you're allowed to say no, and unless it's to something your partner, friend, coworker, or whoever genuinely needs your help with, their anger at you doing so is probably revealing of their attitude towards you. Tread carefully.
3. They only realize your worth when you pull away.
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"The moment you stop giving, they start acting concerned, mainly because they miss the benefits," Roumy said. A person who truly cares and is truly dedicated to the relationship you have together would endeavor to find out why there's trouble in the air before it gets to the point where you've decided to distance yourself.
Someone who needs that shock to the system to wake up has definitely made some assumptions about your availability and allegiance, and while that doesn't necessarily mean the relationship is a lost cause, it definitely means it's time for a conversation and some boundaries.
4. They don't ask for your opinion.
Roumy says this is a red flag "especially when making decisions that affect you" — the big choices that come up, whether in a relationship or a business partnership. If the other party is just doing whatever they want without taking your perspective and needs into consideration, that's a bad sign.
"They just assume that you'll be fine with whatever they decide," Roumy explained, which is inconsiderate at best, and outright dismissive and irresponsible at worst. Regardless of which or how many signs the person is showing, Roumy says that "being taken for granted comes from a lack of appreciation and ignoring your boundaries."
It doesn't necessarily have to be a dealbreaker, but it does mean it's time to, as Roumy put it, "draw the line and show them your worth." Any relationship worth its salt is an equal give and take, and no one should accept anything less.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.