15 Signs Someone In Your Life Is On The Verge Of Narcissistic Collapse
When a narcissist experiences a collapse, they are more than happy to take others down with them.
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is characterized by the National Library of Medicine as a mental health condition in which individuals have an unreasonably high or exaggerated sense of their own importance.
People who have this disorder are often attention seekers, feel they deserve special privileges, are overly critical of others, and require a constant flow of both attention and admiration. They present as boastful, are easily disappointed, and lack empathy for others.
Although, persons with NPD project high self-esteem this is often not the case. Many people with NPD have fragile self-esteem, diminished confidence, and self-doubt.
Narcissistic collapse refers to an extreme emotional reaction that occurs when someone with NPD doesn't receive the external validation they believe they deserve. They might fear their reputation has been damaged or their ego has been threatened. This often occurs under specific circumstances and conditions, such as humiliation, embarrassment, and perceived failure.
Here are 15 signs someone in your life is on the verge of narcissistic collapse:
1. They exhibit impulsive and reckless behavior
According to psychiatrist Dr. Alexander Lapa, this may include gambling, excessive drinking, substance use, and/or reckless driving.
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2. They refuse to return to work or school
They stop functioning because they are afraid of possible humiliation.
3. They are irritable
This may include explosive outbursts against loved ones or even strangers.
4. They withdraw and display avoidant behaviors
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This is another way they attempt to avoid humiliation or rejection.
5. They are vengeful
People experiencing narcissistic collapse often become extremely vindictive, seeking to hurt others as they perceive they have been hurt.
6. They complain excessively
Nothing is ever good enough — even things that previously went unnoticed.
7. They lash out
When a person with NPD feels they have lost control of their public image and are no longer “seen” in a favorable or high regard, the lashing-out behavior begins.
8. They are overly critical of others
Persons with NPD often feel they are smarter, more charismatic, more capable, and more competent than their peers.
9. They gaslight
Dr. Reta Faye Walker explains that gaslighters are "adept at keeping you off-balance, second-guessing yourself, wondering if you are too sensitive, too loud, too tidy, or too anything. If you are always making excuses and apologizing for them, while being desperately unhappy, you may be living with a gaslighter."
10. They demonstrate mental breakdown/decline
Signs of a mental breakdown may include: not being able to remain calm or still, losing interest in things that used to make them happy, panic attacks, paranoia and poor hygiene among other things.
11. They defame others
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This goes hand in hand with their vindictive behavior. If someone with NPD feels that they have been defamed, they often seek to defame others in the same way.
12. They display antagonistic behavior
They seem to want to argue over anything, with almost anybody, and may attempt to "push your buttons" or trigger you on purpose.
13. They are hostile
Hostility is, essentially, irrational anger and antagonism.
14. They engage in manipulative tactics
Narcissists utilize a variety of manipulation tactics, including smear campaigns to turn people against you, intentionally making you jealous, and the idealization, devaluation, and discard cycle.
15. They show increased sensitivity
Persons experiencing a narcissistic collapse would benefit from confidence and self-esteem building. The Mayo Clinic suggests identifying and avoiding triggers, challenging negative thinking, and consciously adjusting your thoughts and beliefs. Counseling can also be beneficial.
Narcissistic collapse can be extremely challenging to deal with, particularly for partners of the narcissist or family members.
If you are a family member or romantic partner of a narcissist experiencing a collapse it is important to avoid fixing their problems. You can validate their feelings without making a judgment and provide opportunities for the narcissist to reach out for assistance when ready.
However, do not feel obligated to accept abusive language or behaviors from the narcissist simply because they are experiencing a collapse. Protect your own mental and emotional health.
Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford is a psychologist who focuses on relationships, dating, and personality issues, as well as a Certified Relationship Specialist with Diplomate Status and an expert with the American Psychotherapy Association.