6 Signs You’re An Incredibly Confident Person, Even Though It Doesn’t Always Feel That Way
Being comfortable with yourself is the foundation for confidence.
People Images Yuri A | Shutterstock.com Whether it stems from body insecurities, stress, or even struggles with self-awareness, nearly 85% of people worldwide don’t feel confident navigating their lives. Struggling with low self-esteem can impact nearly every aspect of life, whether you’re parenting, dating, or spending quality time with yourself.
Mental health coach Alex Goldie on TikTok said that while the majority of don't feel confident outwardly, there might be more people who are internally confident than they give themselves credit for.
“You’re more confident than you might think,” he said in a video. And apparently, there are signs you’re actually confident, even if it might not feel like it.
Here are 6 signs you’re an incredibly confident person, even if it doesn’t always feel that way:
1. You listen more than you speak in social situations
“You are listening to what other people are saying,” Goldie said about truly confident people in social interactions. “You don’t need to get your point across…You don’t need other people’s approval. What you have to say is adding to the conversation instead of talking just to be heard.”
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Instead of waiting for your turn to talk or thinking about your response in group situations or conversations, confident people choose to make other people feel heard and comfortable.
Through active listening skills, confident people are open to letting other people talk rather than adding unnecessary plugs for attention into conversations.
2. You don’t criticize other people
While gossiping can be healthy in certain situations, bringing negativity into conversations, especially when it’s putting someone else down, isn’t necessarily a pillar of a confident persona.
“They need to do this so they feel better about themselves,” Goldie explained. “If they can put somebody down or below them, they feel better about their life and situation.”
Confident people aren’t worried about how other people are living their lives, so they don’t feel a strong need to comment on it or criticize anyone for their choices. If a friend or partner makes a decision that they feel strongly about, they’ll have an open and honest conversation about it with them — taking personal time to understand their own emotions and feelings.
“Talking negatively about other people is only going to make you more insecure,” creator Ana Carolina on TikTok argued. “The same way that you talk badly about other people, you’re going to have an inherent fear that everyone else is doing the same towards you.”
3. You understand and embrace that you don’t know everything
In addition to being self-assured, confident people don’t feel the need to prove their worth to other people — whether it be a financial display, material things, a relationship, or a wealth of knowledge about a subject.
Goldie explained, “They’re happy to learn [and] take on new opinions and ideas. They have room for improvement and [they know] they can’t possibly know everything.”
Because they’re happy with not being the “smartest” or most knowledgeable person in the room, they don’t take things personally or feel envious of another person’s successes. They can genuinely cheer other people on — whether they’re friends or strangers.
4. You stay off your phone in public
According to Goldie, “People use their phones as their comfort blanket in a social environment. If you’re happy to sit and wait instead of looking at your phone, [you're confident].”
Over 50% of cellphone users admit they use their phones to relieve stress and anxiety, even when they’re at home. Because they’re always within arms reach, it can become a reflex to use them in uncomfortable social situations.
When you spend less time crafting your emotional intelligence and communication skills, it only becomes more difficult to go without the security of a screen.
Confident people push themselves into uncomfortable situations, always curious and interested in getting to know other people or spending quality time with themselves.
5. You’re always a beacon of calm in uncomfortable situations.
Whether you realize it or not, if you’re the pillar of calm in stressful situations, you could be more confident than you think. You’re confident in your ability to navigate discomfort or willing to be a leader for people who are feeling insecure — channeling emotional self-awareness, even when it’s stressful.
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“Most people let their emotions take control when they’re in situations that are uncomfortable,” Goldie said. “Confident people are in control of their emotions” and intelligent about navigating stress and anxiety.
6. You find peace in ‘nothingness’
More than a third of people struggle with loneliness, finding it uncomfortable to sit with their own thoughts or to navigate situations without the help or support of others. However, confident, self-assured people find peace in being alone, whether it’s to unpack their emotions or purely relax.
“You don’t have to be doing something all the time,” Goldie shared. “[Insecure people need] to be reading, watching something, or socializing all the time. Confident people can sit there and enjoy the peacefulness without distractions.”
Prioritizing your relationship with yourself is the key to unlocking a true sense of confidence. The better you can support yourself, cope with intense emotions or uncomfortable situations, and trust your own judgment, the happier and more secure you’ll feel.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.