11 Sad Ways Gen X People Waste Time That They Can Never Get Back
Midlife doesn't have to be a crisis, but rather a time to reflect on changes you can make to improve the rest of your life.
Yaroslav Astakhov / Shutterstock A key part of getting older is accepting life as a finite thing. When people are young, they believe the whole world can be theirs. They don’t yet feel pressure from the passage of time, because they think their futures are limitless. But as much as they may not want to hear it, there are many sad ways Gen X has been wasting time that they can never get back.
Once people reach the midlife, they’re often struck with the harsh realization that there will never be enough time to do everything they want to do. While Gen X were once the poster children for disaffected youth, they now fall between 44 and 60 years old. If they want to make the most of the second half of their lives, it's important that they recognize what they need to stop wasting their time on.
Here are 11 sad ways Gen X people waste time that they can never get back
1. Scrolling on social media
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Scrolling on social media is a sad way Gen X people waste time that they can never get back. Every generation has their own struggles when it comes to social media, and the negative impacts of being chronically online are common theme, no matter how old you are.
Spending excessive amounts of time on social media makes people feel isolated and depressed. It’s easy to look at a stranger’s social media and perceive their life as perfect, which sends you spiraling out even more.
Social media is designed to be engaging and addictive. Scrolling triggers an instant dopamine release, which makes people feel good, fast. The more you scroll, the more you activate that reward center of your brain. Getting caught up in this vicious cycle can wreak havoc on your self-esteem and the overall quality of your life.
To combat the negative effects of social media, experts recommend that people limit their scrolling to between 30 minutes and two hours a day. Putting your phone down lets you spend time doing things that truly nourish you, which is a great way to practice staying present in your own life.
2. Trying to impress people online
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Trying to impress people online is another sad way Gen X people waste time they can never get back. While getting stuck scrolling isn’t the best activity for anyone’s mental health, the trap of trying to appear perfect online is truly detrimental.
During the many hours Gen X people spend posting on Facebook or curating flawless family photos on Instagram, they’re wasting precious time. They might think that getting likes will make them feel good, but really, seeking out that kind of external validation will only feel hollow in the end.
Wanting to be accepted and celebrated is part of human nature, but trying to impress people online doesn’t actually lead to genuine acceptance. Posting only the perfect parts of your life on social media tells an incomplete story, one that doesn’t acknowledge the beauty of being flawed.
Our messier sides are what make us fully human. Putting your whole, imperfect self online is a path to self-acceptance and authenticity.
3. Watching too much TV
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Watching too much TV is a sad way Gen X people waste time that they can never get back. Watching TV was a crucial part of the Gen X childhood experience. For a generation of latchkey kids, TV was a babysitter and a best friend. The glow of the TV set provided comfort and warmth. Watching their favorite characters on TV meant that they weren’t really alone.
Many Gen X people continue steeping themselves in the comfort and ease of watching TV, and for good reason. TV lets them disconnect from the daily stressors of real life. Yet the more time Gen X people spend in the imaginary worlds that kept them company as kids, the less time they spend connecting to the present moment.
Watching too much TV might feel safe, but it does Gen X a great disservice. They tune out to watch worlds that don’t really exist, which means they’re not actually enjoying the lives they have.
4. Saying yes to things they don’t want to do
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Another sad way Gen X people waste time that they can never get back is by saying yes to things they don’t actually want to do. They put immense pressure on themselves to show up to every event they’re asked to attend. They agree to do things they don’t want to do, which is a waste of their time and energy.
Saying yes when you don’t really mean it leads to resentment, and it doesn’t honor your own needs. In her book, “The Power of Saying No,” marketing professor Vanessa Patrick shared that saying “no” is an important way for people to stay aligned to their values and live the lives they want.
“People are super anxious about saying no because they are concerned about damaging relationships,” she explained. Patrick offered up the idea of “empowered refusal” as a solution to saying yes all the time.
“I coined this term of empowered refusal to describe a way of saying no that stems from your identity and gives voice to your values, priorities, preferences, and beliefs,” Patrick shared. “When we say an empowered no, our no is about us, not a rejection of the other person.”
Once Gen X people realize that saying yes to everything depletes them, they’ll understand that saying no isn’t impolite, but rather, a way to live their truth.
5. Working overtime
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Working overtime is another sad way Gen X people waste time that they can never get back. It’s one thing to believe in work-life balance, but actually implementing it is something else completely.
By 2028, Gen X will outnumber boomers in the workplace. As they rise up the ranks and to take their place in positions of power at work, Gen X will face an internal struggle of how to prioritize their personal lives with the expectations of their professional roles.
Gen X is no longer the slacker generation, but there’s always the risk of running too far in the opposite direction. Many Gen X people wear stress as a badge of honor instead of seeing it for what it really is — a message to slow down.
The more Gen X works, the more they close themselves off to the rest of their lives, the parts that truly hold meaning. It’s too easy for hours of overtime to turn into skipping their kids’ soccer game or missing out on family dinner. Working long hours leads Gen X farther away from their own lives, which is something they can never get back.
6. Worrying that their kids won’t go to college
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Worrying that their kids won’t go to college is a sad way Gen X people waste time that they can never get back. Gen X believes in the value of a college education. In their own experience, college opened doors. Having a degree gave them access to higher-paying jobs, paving the way for their professional success.
Yet their Gen Z kids have a very different view on college. They see college as an unnecessary endeavor, one that will saddle them with student-loan debt they won’t be able to escape from.
According to the Pew Research Center, 40% of young adults in America say a college degree isn’t important to get a well-paying job in the current economy. Workers in the U.S. between 25 and 34 years old who don’t have a bachelor’s degree have seen an increase in earnings over the past decade. As the income gap between workers with college degrees and those without degrees has decreased, younger people see that they can access economic opportunities without college.
Every generation carves out their own way in the world. While Gen X benefited from college, their kids don’t see it as a necessity, marking a changing attitude toward higher education. All parents have concerns about their children’s future, but lying awake at night and worrying that their kids won’t attend college is a waste of time Gen X people can never get back.
7. Seeing self-care as an indulgence
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A sad way Gen X people waste time they can never get back is by seeing self-care as an indulgence, rather than as a necessity. As a generation raised on tough love, Gen X takes the mistaken position that self-care is a frivolous activity. They equate self-care with bubble baths and an intense devotion to skincare, rather than what it really is — a way to nurture themselves for the future.
YourTango Expert Clare Waismann shared that, “The ultimate goal of self-care is to enable us to live the healthiest and happiest life possible.” According to this view, self-care is a guide, teaching us how to “navigate life's challenges with resilience, embrace joy, and savor the richness of our experiences.”
“Self-care isn't just a routine; it's a commitment to our well-being, a journey towards a fulfilling and balanced life,” Waismann concluded.
8. Ignoring their emotions
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A sad way Gen X people waste time that they can never get back is by ignoring their emotions. Gen X was raised to equate emotional vulnerability with a lack of inner strength. They held onto this belief for so long, they fell completely out of touch with their emotions. While it’s not easy for Gen X people to tune into their inner world and listen to their feelings, ignoring their emotions is a waste of time.
Psychologist Nick Wignall pointed out that people who criticize themselves for having hard feelings tend to have low emotional intelligence.
“They think it’s bad or wrong to feel afraid. They think it’s shameful to feel sad. They think it’s a sign of weakness that they get angry,” he explained. In contrast, “People with high emotional intelligence understand that just because something feels bad doesn’t mean it is bad.”
People who are able to acknowledge how they feel make the active decision to have a healthy relationship with their emotions. When someone has high emotional intelligence, “they treat themselves instead with compassion and kindness when they feel bad,” Wignall concluded.
9. Fixating on their mistakes
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A sad way Gen X people waste time that they can never get back is by fixating on their mistakes. They hold themselves up to high standards, some of which are impossible for them to reach.
They have a hard time accepting the fact that being human means that mistakes are inevitable. Instead of recognizing their little imperfections as something that gives them nuance and texture, Gen X sees flaws as proof that they can’t do anything right.
Gen X people have a hard time processing their mistakes, which means they hold themselves accountable for messing up way longer than they need to. While being committed to accountability is a good thing, Gen X often takes it too far. They don’t forgive themselves. They make a home out of what they’ve done wrong, rather than seeing mistakes as lighting the path toward growth.
10. Not letting themselves change
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Not letting themselves change is another sad way Gen X people waste time they can never get back. Their inability to allow for change ties into the way they hyperfocus on their mistakes.
They have a hard time holding grace for their flaws, which keeps them stuck in the mire of old patterns, rather than seeing who they can become.
By not allowing for change, Gen X people continue to punish themselves for versions of who they once were. Once Gen X accepts that their past mistakes don’t define them, they’ll stop wasting time, so they can live their fullest lives.
11. Dwelling on the past
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A sad way Gen X people waste time that they can never get back is dwelling on the past. They tend to get trapped in time by romanticizing the past, thinking about how much better life was in the era of VHS tapes, CDs, and landline phones. They go so deep into how things once were, they lose sight of the present.
Getting lost in nostalgia is often a self-protective mechanism. If they stay solidly in their glory days, they don’t have to push themselves to change. Dwelling in the past robs Gen X people of time they could be spending with the family and friends they have now.
Once they let go of their suffocating nostalgia, they can stand with two feet in the present and truly enjoy the lives they have now.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a staff writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.