9 Things The Toughest Women Say When Life Tries To Cut Them Down
Let it be, and love yourself for once.
Ozan Çulha | Canva When you're feeling down on yourself, whether it's due to personal problems or circumstances beyond your control, it's hard to know that things will get better. It is all too easy to forget how to love yourself throughout the process and let negative self-talk take over, which is why saying daily, positive affirmations can help you improve your self-esteem.
Learn to love yourself fully by using positive words of affirmation so you'll believe them even during your worst moments.
Here are nine phrases to use when life tries to break you down
1. "You're worthy of love"
It will feel false at first, especially when you are feeling bad, but sometimes, we have to speak our truth before we can believe it.
2. "You're beautiful"
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Because let's face it, you are! You don't need anyone else to tell you that for it to be true. You are the only person who needs to know it and believe it. This is one way to improve self-esteem.
Maybe you don't feel it right now, but if you continue saying this to yourself every day, you will.
3. "You're worth it"
You should never put your worth in someone else's hands. Ever. It's almost like asking someone to treat you other than what you're truly worth.
We are all unique in one way or another, and you need to own it by knowing you're worthy of good things and not settling for anything less.
Want to know how to build self-esteem? Start with your opinion of yourself.
4. "Don't give up"
There were times when I wanted to give up. Those times were dreadful. Every second felt like a day, and every minute felt like a week.
But know this: If you don't give up, you'll begin to experience life in such an amazing and different way. Barbara Riegel, Ph.D., et. al. explores how this step of self-care is hard to visualize, as well as other challenges to self-care.
Never give up!
5. "This is temporary"
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I know, I know ... how many times have you heard, "This too shall pass"? Granted, whoever said it was right, but still, it's not what you want to hear or need to hear at the moment. Just know every feeling and emotion you experience is temporary, and the bad feelings will dissipate.
Think of it like this: Remember a time when you were having the time of your life and thinking to yourself, "I don't ever want this night to end." Unfortunately, as much as you want it to continue, it ends because you have this thing called life to tend to and all it entails.
So, if all good things come to an end, the bad stuff has to come to an end as well, right? It will.
6. "What people say is a reflection of them, not me"
There are good and bad people in this world, and that's a fact. What anyone says to you or does to you does not reflect who you are or who your character is. Only you have the power to define yourself. Certainly, there will be times when caring people will challenge us to do better when we've erred, but we don't have to buy into idle gossip.
Never leave it up to another person to define you. Even when you've made a mistake, you can define what you want to learn from it — not what others want you to feel. You get one life to live, and you deserve the best life one can have. You deserve a little more kindness and a lot less negativity in your life, as supported by a study in the Health Education Research Journal.
7. "I'm worth more than my paycheck (or my grades)"
All careers come with highs and lows, and despite what society tells you, what you earn (or how often you're praised at work or school) doesn't reflect your value to this world. Yes, it can feel wonderful to get a promotion or a raise or straight As for the semester, but you're just as worthy of joy as anyone else — no matter what.
8. "I'm worthy of forgiveness, despite my mistakes"
Everyone makes mistakes, and it's normal to feel guilty. Guilt and regret can guide you toward learning and growth. Mickie L. Fisher and Julie J. Exline help to explain that once you've made amends for your mistakes (if amends are needed), you deserve forgiveness. Of course, you are the only person whose forgiveness you can control. So, as unnatural as it may seem, look yourself in the eye and say, "I forgive you."
9. "I've come a long way!"
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Sometimes, growth and change take longer than we wish they would. Setbacks at work, hiccups in education, or problems in relationships can make it feel like nothing will ever change. But things can and do change — and I'm willing to bet you have grown, too. So look yourself in the eye and remind yourself you've already done so much, and your potential happiness is limitless.
The truth is life isn't always fair. Unfortunately, there may be times when you feel everything in your life is going wrong, no matter what you do or how hard you try to change it.
You'll lose loved ones, and you'll get your heart stomped on at some point, whether it's by a friend or partner. You will have your feelings hurt by situations that happen and words spoken by others, and you can end up with low self-esteem.
I've been there and feel your pain. It gets better, I promise you. I know it doesn't feel like it right now — because we always want things to be instant — but life in and of itself is a daily process.
I know it can be hard to be positive because you're afraid everything's going to go badly. I get it. Many of us are so hard on ourselves, whether it be as a parent or an employee that we never give ourselves the boost or uplift we desperately need to improve our self-esteem.
However, there's enough negativity, selfishness, greed, and more in this world to last all of us a lifetime, so why make it worse by feeding into our instincts to be down on ourselves?
One of the best things to hold onto in your darkest hour is you don't have to live the same day twice.
Rid yourself of the negative energy and embrace the gift of life, as supported by a study in the Journal of Clinical Psychology. Know you're beautiful amazing, and anyone is lucky to be around you.
Don't get dragged down by the immediate instinct to bash yourself when things aren't going well in life. It's almost an automatic process. But when you replace those automatic thoughts with positive affirmations and loving statements, you will see such a beautiful change in the way you approach yourself and experience different events or situations.
You are beautiful. Never forget that! Your self-esteem will thank you.
Brittney Lindstrom is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Rehabilitation Counselor. She writes about relationships, organizational psychology and behavior, personality psychology, and more.