People Who Are Manipulative And Two-Faced Have These 15 Personality Traits
Spot them before they manipulate and use you.
ShotPrime Studio | Shutterstock One of the most disappointing things you can experience is the realization your best friend or closest confidante doesn’t have your best interest at heart.
Finding out the people around you have two-faced and manipulative personality traits can be utterly devastating. You might have heard the term before, but it is time we asked ourselves what it means to be two-faced and understand how to deal with two-faced people.
You don’t have to wait until a two-faced person has done irreparable damage to your life to recognize and remove them. There are warning signs that can give you a heads-up that the relationship is not genuine.
People who are manipulative and two-faced have these personality traits:
1. Their excitement feels performative
Two-faced people are experts at wearing false faces. They pretend to be excited to see you, but their joy is performative. Real relationships are a balance between happiness and reality.
2. They make it all about themselves
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People who are two-faced love to talk about themselves. They have no concern or regard for what you have going on. Your role is simply to be a spectator and their one-person show.
3. Their body language never matches their words
It is easy to spot a person who is not being authentic with you. They might glare at you from time to time or refuse to make eye contact. It is important to not just hear them, but see how they move.
4. They need to be the center of attention
Two-faced people need to be validated at all times. They accomplish this by sucking up all the air in the room. They seek out compliments and positive feedback as confirmation that they are ultra-important.
5. They are passive-aggressive
You can never truly know how a two-faced person feels. They will cover their disdain for you with neutral words that give you no insight into the hatred bubbling beneath the surface.
Psychologist Tarra Bates-Duford explained, "When passive-aggressive people get upset, they let it out in ways that may not be obvious to others. They often appear to be going with the flow — they may even insist that nothing is wrong — but will procrastinate, sulk, or give off other subtle signs that they're secretly resentful. Passive-aggressive behavior can be seriously damaging to relationships, so it's important to identify when you, or someone you know, engages in such behaviors."
6. They are terrible listeners
When you tell a two-faced friend your deepest, darkest thoughts, your words will go in one ear and out the other. When they do listen, they only want to dismiss you or invalidate your feelings.
7. They live for bad news about other people
Hearing about the misfortune of another person can brighten a two-faced person’s day. They might pretend to empathize, but in the back of their minds, they are celebrating your calamity.
8. They love to brag about themselves
If modesty and humility are your jam, you certainly will not find it in your two-faced friends. Anything they do or give is shouted from the rafters. The two-faced are the poster children of clout-chasing.
9. They have an active imagination
Two-faced folks have no problem with lying, according to research in The Journal of Psychiatry and Law. Talking to them is like a game of telephone on steroids. The story needs but one stop before it is completely morphed into something else guaranteed to show you in the worst light.
10. They hate to see you win
If you are looking to your pals to celebrate your successes, count the two-faced one out. They are your biggest secret competitor and see your wins as a loss for them. They do, however, find ways for your victories to benefit them.
11. They tell you other people’s secrets
If they did it to them, they will do it to you. Two-faced people will tell you the darkest secrets of their other so-called friends. It is safe to assume that any personal business you share with them will also become public fodder.
12. They associate with people you don’t like
If your friend seeks out people who do not like you to build relationships with you, it is blatantly obvious that they are two-faced. They are no doubt discussing you with these people in private, and they are not singing your praises.
13. They become friends with your exes
The jealousy within two-faced people causes them to constantly compete with you. You might be through with an ex, but they have no qualms about going after your leftovers to knock you down a notch.
14. They lack accountability
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Two-faced people will never admit that they are wrong. They will make excuses for bad behavior and blame others for their actions. To admit wrongdoing would be admirable — and that, they are not.
"They believe their pain is caused by others rather than by their self-abandonment, so they feel justified in blaming others for their feelings.
As long as they believe their painful feelings of anger, fear, hurt, anxiety, depression, guilt, or shame are caused by something outside themselves rather than by their thoughts and actions, they will see themselves as a victim and need to try to control others," advised psychologist Margaret Paul.
15. They sabotage your other relationships
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When you are friends with a two-faced person, expect them to do their best to put drama and negative energy between you and other people. They hate the way others love you and have a burning desire to see you alone.
Being manipulative and two-faced differs from being fake because while "fake" people will pretend to be something they are not to gain favor or acceptance, it is usually because they secretly admire you and want you to feel the same about them. Two-faced, manipulative people have an underlying disdain for you that can be caused by jealousy, resentment, or vindictiveness.
This might beg the question: Why are people two-faced and manipulative? Well, there are several reasons a person can turn out this way.
A lack of self-esteem is one of the main reasons people turn out to be two-faced and manipulative. They don’t want people to see their insecurities and failures, so they deflect negativity onto others as a distraction.
Two-faced people also have an extreme need for acceptance. As the saying goes, they love to shorten someone else’s straw so theirs looks longer. This means that by diminishing the character of another person, they can appear to be somehow better or more attractive.
Past trauma is another prerequisite for people becoming two-faced. They may have had negative or traumatic social experiences before. This can include bullying, rejection, or exclusion.
It is not uncommon for people who have had their trust violated by people they cared about to turn around and inflict the same pain on others, according to studies in The Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. They believe if they can take it, you can, too.
It is important to realize that most two-faced people are not cold-blooded, evil sociopaths ready to kill for what they want. They are the epitome of “hurt people hurt people.”
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, who specializes in self-care, self-love, self-enlightenment, interpersonal relationships, and personalities. She strives to deliver informative and entertaining content people can use to help navigate life.