Mom Whose Most Important Life Goal Was To Have A Daughter Expresses Regret & Disappointment That Her Dream Came True
"I did everything right, and it's still the hardest thing I've ever done."
Pixel-Shot | Shutterstock If you are on the fence about having children, a new mom named Sabrina, shared her refreshingly honest take that might help you decide.
She admitted that having a daughter was always her biggest goal — one that she recently achieved. However, since welcoming her little girl into the world, she discovered that motherhood is nothing like she expected.
The mom whose most important life goal was to have a daughter expressed regret and disappointment that her dream had come true.
When many women think of motherhood, they imagine dressing up chubby babies in cute clothes, having a built-in best friend, and getting endless cuddles. However, babies are more than just cute little playthings — they are a major lifelong responsibility.
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Sabrina was among those who dreamt of motherhood. "My dream since I was a little girl was to have a baby," she shared in a TikTok. "I wanted to be a mom. All I ever wanted was one little girl and I was gonna name her Harley."
Yet, just nine months after giving birth to her bundle of joy, Sabrina admitted that motherhood is far more difficult than she anticipated. “I regret making being a mom my dream,” she confessed. “I have been severely disappointed with the dream.”
That's not to say she doesn't love her daughter. The mom clarified that she loves her little girl more than anything in the world. "I would give my life for her in two seconds," she added. Still, motherhood has been a letdown.
“I was dreaming of a life that I had no idea was about. It's not just a few moments of like, ‘No, don't do that,’ a few smelly diapers and you're just gonna have this happy-go-lucky [expletive] family," she stressed. “Being a mother is the most draining experience of your life. It changes every single person around you — every single friend, every family member, the relationship with your husband, and the relationship with yourself.”
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Sabrina admitted that she no longer recognizes herself, does not spend as much time with her husband as she used to, and cannot even use the restroom or eat on her own. She was not surprised that motherhood required sacrifice but did not understand the extent until experiencing it firsthand.
The mom vowed to spread her message to childless women who dream about having kids.
“I am trying to save you," she stressed. "Dream bigger. Do not try to make the family that you've always wanted ... Go travel. Go be hot. Go create your family with friends and experiences and yourself and your spirituality and nature.”
Sabrina admitted that as much as she loves her daughter, motherhood was not worth it.
“Do not have children. Do not do it to yourself. There is no return receipt,” she warned potential parents. “She's almost nine months old and I am still in the trenches.”
“My child is the best thing in the world and I love her so much. But I hate how much I love her. I hate the things that I know that I'm capable of doing to protect her,” she continued. “I am terrified for her future every day. It is not worth it.”
Sabrina shared in a follow-up video what she is doing to get 'un-miserable.'
Sabrina is far from alone in her struggle. Research shows that in developed countries, 5% to 14% of parents admit that they regret their decision to have children and would choose a childless life if they could go back in time.
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It takes strength to admit that something that was once your greatest dream did not turn out how you hoped. But as Sabrina pointed out, once you have a child, there is no going back, so, she shared in a TikTok what she is doing to feel better.
“I scheduled a therapy appointment,” she revealed. “I’m going to the gym more … and I can unfortunately say that it definitely does help my mood.”
She has begun investing in her hobbies and passions outside of parenthood, like crocheting and reading, and has created a YouTube channel, something she has always wanted to do. Ultimately, she is working on her identity outside of being a mom.
“Making myself get out of the world of motherhood definitely helps,” she said. “So if you're struggling, dream big.”
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.