Mom Asks If It’s Rude To Bring A Cupcake Just For Her Own Toddler To Another Child’s Birthday Party
“I can’t help but overthink it and convince myself that it’s rude.”
FamVeld | Shutterstock Navigating life with a one-year-old is hard enough. Add some allergies to the mix and things become even more complicated and difficult to manage.
Content creator and mom Kryslin Anthony is well aware of the challenges of raising a child with allergies, as her 18-month-old daughter has a dairy allergy. She recently contemplated how to handle attending a friend's birthday, as dairy-free options are never a guarantee.
The mom asked if it was rude to bring a dairy-free cupcake for her own toddler to another child’s birthday party.
"I never know if there will be something dairy-free there," she explained in her post. "I never expect people to make her anything dairy-free — that’s insane. And also, people sometimes say it's dairy-free, but they forget that butter is dairy."
The invitation noted that cupcakes would be served at the party, so instead of hoping the host would have allergy-free options, the mom decided to grab a cupcake for her daughter from a vegan bakery.
"I'm only going to take it out when they offer cupcakes," she clarified. "But now I'm rethinking it and wondering if it's rude."
She doesn't want other parents at the party to think she is making the event about herself or her child but also doesn't want her daughter to be left out of the celebration due to food restrictions.
“The alternative is that if I don’t bring it, she can’t have anything,” the mom added. “I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it."
"The kids are 1, so they're not going to know the difference,” she continued.
Of course, this mother is only looking out for her daughter's safety — not looking to steal any attention away from the birthday girl or her family. However, commenters debated the controversy the vegan cupcake could cause.
Natalia Kirichenko | Shutterstock
Many Redditors supported this mother, arguing that a medical emergency from dairy would be more “distracting” to the birthday party than a vegan cupcake. Others considered it to be “rude and distasteful.”
Despite some negative discourse, many commenters supported this mom’s initiative — ‘It’s better than expecting the hosts to accommodate.’
"My only thought is your cupcake looks delicious with the fruit on top, maybe try just a frosting she can have so it doesn’t draw attention," one commenter advised.
Considering the only vegan bakery near her was relatively upscale, she admitted it wasn’t really an option to go a simpler route, but comments on the other side of the aisle argued that she doesn’t need to explain herself. “She’s only looking out for the safety of her kid,” one user wrote. “This has nothing to do with attention seeking.”
“It’s clear that she’s looking out for everyone’s best interest,” another person wrote under the post. “Her daughter gets to be included; she’s not burdening the birthday girl’s parents with making accommodations or providing other options, and everyone gets to be happy.”
Looking out for her child’s safety, the mom brought the cupcake to the party, which ended up being for the best. It caused no harm, and if she hadn't brought her daughter a separate lunch and dessert, she would have only been able to eat watermelon.
Sometimes, it can be uncomfortable to advocate for yourself — or even your kids. But, at the end of the day, all you can do is hope for compassion and do what is necessary for your comfort and safety.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories