Mom Asked To Leave Friend's Birthday Party After Arriving With Her Crying 7-Month-Old Baby
Maintaining friendships can be difficult when you're a parent.
shulers | Shutterstock Birthdays are meant to be a time to relax, have fun, and enjoy the company of friends. But what happens when the celebration you’ve carefully planned takes an unexpected turn, and suddenly the atmosphere is more chaotic than chill?
That’s exactly what happened when one woman threw herself a birthday party, and her friend Sarah showed up with her 7-month-old baby. The baby’s crying quickly turned the event into a tense situation, leaving the host to make a difficult decision: asking her friend to leave. The birthday girl took to Reddit to share her story and ask for advice on how to salvage the friendship.
A mom was asked to leave her friend's birthday party because her baby wouldn't stop crying.
In the original Reddit post, the host of the birthday party shared her story: "I (27F) recently threw a birthday party at my apartment. It was a pretty low-key gathering with about 10 friends, lots of snacks, a couple of drinks, and just a fun night hanging out. Everything was going fine until my friend, Sarah (28F), showed up with her 7-month-old baby." Almost immediately, the baby started crying, and despite Sarah’s attempts to calm her down, the crying continued for nearly an hour.
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At first, the host thought it might be a temporary thing, but as time went on, the crying became louder and harder to ignore. She wrote, "It was hard to hear anything over the noise, and some of the other guests were getting visibly uncomfortable." Eventually, it became disruptive enough that the host decided to speak with Sarah privately. “I asked her if she could maybe step outside with the baby or take a break in the other room,” she explained. The host acknowledged that being a parent is hard, but the constant crying made it difficult for her and the other guests to enjoy the party.
Sarah, understandably upset, responded that the host should "be more understanding," arguing that she was doing her best and couldn't just leave her baby at home. Their conversation ended with Sarah leaving the party, and the two haven't spoken since.
Being the first friend to have a child can put a serious strain on the relationship.
This situation is a perfect reminder that parties, especially ones mixing friends with and without kids, are a little like trying to mix oil and water. You’ve got the calm, carefree feeling of a social gathering — and the very real responsibilities of being a parent. Sometimes, those two things just don’t mix well together.
Here's the unfortunate truth: both friends were at fault for the birthday debacle. Sarah should have asked her friend if it was a kid-friendly affair, and the birthday girl should have told her from the jump that it was an adults-only event. Since communication clearly isn't their friendship strong suit, Sarah should have probably assumed that since she is the only mom among her friend group, bringing the baby along wasn't the best decision.
Sarah Sahagian, author of the "Ask a Child-Free Person" advice column, put it simply: "If you’re jonesing to go out but have to bring a bundle of joy, you should first call the hosts to see if it’s okay. DO NOT just bring your baby without telling them. Am I discriminating against babies here? Absolutely not! Babies are like any uninvited guest — you need to get permission to bring them before you do so."
For Sarah, she likely didn’t want to be separated from her baby and couldn’t find a sitter. For the host, she simply wanted to enjoy her birthday party as a 20-something. The tension here is understandable; both were trying to make it work, but the result wasn’t what either of them expected. If there’s a lesson here, it’s that communication is key. If Sarah had asked beforehand, the host could have set expectations. On the flip side, Sarah could have decided to leave the baby at home for a night out (or at least tried to anticipate that a party with games and drinks might not be baby-friendly).
Navigating friendships after having kids requires communication and patience.
At the heart of this whole situation is the delicate balance of friendship. Parents often have to juggle a lot, and at the heart of it, their social lives usually suffer, which makes them, in many cases, even more desirous of that adult connection. It can feel isolating when your besties all make last-minute plans for a fun Friday night, and you aren't even part of the text chain.
The first of her friends to have a baby, Jennifer Vail, shared her isolating experience in a piece for HerViewFromHome writing, "I didn’t resent my baby, surprised as we were to welcome him, but I did feel the death of something I hadn’t known was mortal — connection with my friends. We were in different places in our lives. Neither was better, neither was worse, but neither seemed to have room for the other."
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But just because your life circumstances change doesn’t mean the friendship has to end. It does have to evolve, though. In this case, the host could have expressed her frustration in a way that was a little more understanding. And for Sarah, maybe a bit more reflection on whether this was the right event to bring her baby without asking first. It’s all about compromise. Sometimes, the most parenting-friendly choice might be sitting this one out.
As one dad sagely wrote in the comments, "I’m a parent and I wouldn’t bring a baby to a party. Sometimes being a parent ... sucks and you have to miss out on things but it’s what you signed up for."
While this Reddit story centers around a crying baby crashing a birthday bash, it also serves as a reminder that life’s unexpected moments often require us to handle things with a little more communication and a lot of empathy. Whether you’re a parent or a party-goer, understanding each other’s needs can make all the difference.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.
