Man Blindsided As His Girlfriend 'Hijacks' His Birthday To Propose To Herself On His Behalf
Respectfully, ma'am, you are unhinged.
DragonImages | Canva Pro Moving a relationship toward the marriage conversation is a huge step. We've all seen the myriad movies and heard the stories about men who are a bit gunshy about committing. Being strung along is certainly nobody's ideal situation, and one man's girlfriend decided to take matters into her own hands in the most bizarre way possible.
The man's girlfriend used his birthday dinner to propose marriage to herself on his behalf.
Yes, you read that correctly and yes, it's as unhinged as it sounds. The 28-year-old Redditor wrote that he recently had a birthday, and his girlfriend Sarah offered to plan a birthday dinner for him.
"I usually keep things low-key, but she said she wanted to 'make it special,'" he wrote, so she booked a nice restaurant and put a group of revelers together. He never could have guessed, however, how exactly she'd define "special." Nobody could have, frankly, because it's utterly unhinged.
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She had the waiters bring out a birthday cake with a marriage proposal to herself written in icing because 'she couldn't wait anymore.'
"Everything was going great until it was time for dessert," the man wrote of the gathering. "The waiter brought out a cake, but instead of my name, it said: 'Will You Marry Me, Sarah?' I was completely blindsided." Um, yeah, because this is ACTIVELY INSANE.
Sarah clearly disagreed though. "Sarah got all teary-eyed, turned to me, and said, 'Well? This is the best surprise ever, right?'" Ma'am! MA'AM!!! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!
It only got worse from there, since the strangers around them had no idea what was going on. "Everyone around us started clapping, and her friends were filming," he wrote. "I just sat there, stunned."
"She took my silence as hesitation and started going on about how she knew I wasn’t 'big on grand gestures,' but she couldn’t wait anymore, so she 'took matters into her own hands.'" The layers upon layers of absolutely unhinged delusion here are frankly staggering.
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"Not big on grand gestures"?! Grand gestures like you PROPOSING TO YOURSELF ON ANOTHER PERSON'S BEHALF ON A CAKE IN A RESTAURANT IN PUBLIC IN FRONT OF STRANGERS? Someone needs to stage an intervention with this woman by the close of business.
She was furious he stormed out of the dinner, but people online were firmly on his side.
He was so astonished by her stunt — as any normal person would be — that he immediately stood up and told her that if she wanted a proposal he should have spoken to him about it instead of "hijacking" his birthday. He then left the dinner.
His girlfriend was furious, saying she "humiliated" him and all their friends agreed. However, it's hard not to feel like everyone but this guy is utterly unhinged — and that perhaps their friends are just placating the girlfriend.
It's easy to lapse into old sexist tropes about the unhinged marriage-crazy single gal, but, well, if the shoe, or in this case the bat-crap crazy birthday cake, fits… Because this is astonishingly inappropriate and manipulative.
And while his girlfriend surely was humiliated by the experience, so was the birthday boy. At the very least, she should have proposed TO HIM, not put words in his mouth via cake icing. As one Reddit commenter pointed out, she basically used him as a "prop" for her own gratification, and what this reveals about her is a lesson he needs to heed. Because marrying someone this insecure, manipulative, and lacking in boundaries is a recipe for disaster.
Deeply wanting lifelong companionship is a basic human drive, but if a person is THIS desperate for it, they're looking to marriage to "fix" something only they can fix themselves — and that means they're not remotely ready for what marriage entails. In the end, she did him a favor with her little stunt — an unhinged, jaw-dropping favor.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.