Man Tells Girlfriend He’d Be ‘More Comfortable’ If She Put Makeup On Before They Leave The House
Is it fair for a boyfriend to dictate his girlfriend's appearance?
fizkes | Shutterstock A recent TikTok ignited a heated conversation about control, autonomy, and beauty standards in relationships. A woman, Kenzie, shared a telling moment between her and her boyfriend — one that had thousands of commenters waving a bright red flag.
The man told his girlfriend he'd be 'more comfortable' if she put makeup on before they left the house.
"You ready to go?" Kenzie's boyfriend asked her. Before she even had a chance to answer, he quickly followed up with another question: "Are you gonna put some makeup on real quick?"
"Do I need to?" she asked in response. Rather than telling her she looked beautiful either way or that it was up to her, he spoke of his preferences.
"Without makeup, you look good, but with makeup on, I just feel like you are on a different level," he told her. "So for me personally, I would feel more comfortable if you..." Before he could finish his sentence the video cut off, but presumably, he planned to say "...put makeup on," or some variation.
While he positioned it as a personal preference, his statement was more than just an innocent opinion — it was an imposition on her autonomy. His comfort level should not depend on his girlfriend wearing foundation and mascara; framing it as such is manipulative and controlling.
This exchange highlights a much larger issue about societal beauty standards and the expectations placed on women.
In many cultures, the image of a woman wearing makeup is synonymous with looking "polished," "attractive," or "presentable." The idea that makeup is an enhancement — a way to look "better" or "more impressive" — is ingrained in us through advertising, media, and even personal relationships. Often it is posed as a necessity for women.
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Of course, the same can not be said for men. They are not expected to slather on concealer, eyeshadow, and lipstick before leaving the house.
That's not to say that women don't enjoy wearing makeup. According to polling by YouGov, 38% of women say they wear makeup at least a few times a week or daily. Of those who wear makeup, the most popular reasons were for a confidence boost, for special occasions, to enhance certain features, to cover blemishes, and for self-expression.
Just over a third of women polled said that "societal expectations influence their decision to wear makeup either a great deal or a fair amount."
Ultimately, it should be a woman's decision whether or not to wear makeup — not society or even her partner. Intentionally or not, Kenzie's boyfriend's demands reinforced a harmful beauty standard and subtly suggested that her natural, unadorned appearance was not enough to meet his standards.
The choice to wear makeup or not should lie entirely with the person wearing it.
Makeup is a deeply personal choice, and it’s one that reflects how a person presents themselves to the world. When a partner insists that their significant other looks a certain way, it crosses the line from preference to control.
Relationships should be a space where both partners are encouraged to be their authentic selves. This includes respecting each other’s decisions about appearance. While it’s natural for couples to have preferences, they should never pressure or guilt their partner into meeting those expectations.
The idea that one person’s comfort can or should come at the cost of the other person’s sense of self is an unhealthy dynamic. Relationships should be about mutual respect, trust, and acceptance — allowing both partners to feel comfortable in their own skin without feeling pressured to change.
When it comes to beauty, makeup, and personal expression, the only person who should have a say in what’s done to their face is the person themselves.
Erika Ryan is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.