Man Says Adult Birthday Dinners Have Become Unfair 'Charity Galas' — 'I'm Not Here To Donate To Everyone At The Table'
Have birthday dinners become too inaccessible and expensive?
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock In our unfortunate world riddled with economic frustrations, from rising rent costs to hundred-dollar grocery bills, sometimes even the happiest of days can be clouded by our money anxiety.
It’s exactly why once-exciting events like family vacations and birthday dinners have now become inaccessible for many.
One man argued that birthday dinners have become expensive and unfair 'charity galas.'
“When did birthday dinners become charity galas?" content creator Ike Slimster questioned in a TikTok. "I’m not trying to be rude. This is a really honest question."
While there are different financial expectations and relationship dynamics that come into play, Slimster admitted that, more often than not, everyone expects the dinner bill to be split evenly. “It has nothing to do with me,” he added, arguing against paying for other people’s dinner choices. “I’m here to celebrate you.”
“I didn’t know that I came to eat and donate for the rest of the people at the table. I'm drinking water," he continued. "I saw somebody have a three-course meal. I saw that person take home dessert. And now you're telling me that because of my love for you ... I have to donate."
Other people online agreed that big birthday dinners often become unfair and uncomfortable when the check arrives.
Given the economic hardships most adults are experiencing, things like birthday dinners have become surprisingly controversial. Oftentimes, people don’t even have the luxury to buy organic fruits at the grocery store or the shirt that’s been sitting on their wish list — let alone drop hundreds on an expensive birthday dinner for their friends.
“I think it’s just unfair when someone chooses a really expensive restaurant for their birthday dinner,” Sean Lans argued in a TikTok, supporting other discourse on the celebrations. “Read the room. Yeah, it’s your birthday, but you should know if your friends are going to be happy and comfortable with what you choose … I don’t think your birthday should be about doing the biggest or fanciest thing."
“I’ve been to birthday dinners with 20 plus people where the birthday person pays for everyone,” @neighbourhoodnyssa on TikTok said in response to Slimsters post. “Obviously, that’s ideal."
However, it's, understandably, not often the case. She continued her video, explaining that these large dinners are often a logistical nightmare — "foods taking mad long to come, people's orders are getting mixed up, people are switching seats, and it's just annoying for the restaurant workers ... and there’s always that one person that makes a huge scene when the bill comes.”
Especially in our current economy, many people argue birthday dinners have become too inaccessible and expensive.
Ultimately, it’s the birthday person’s choice to decide how they want to spend their birthday and who they want to celebrate with. But, don’t be upset when your birthday dinner — where the expectation is to “equally split” the cost of a million different entrees, alcoholic drinks, and even desserts — isn’t the blissful celebration you’d anticipated.
Great and true friends communicate their wants and needs freely. If someone knows their friend can’t afford to come to a birthday dinner, they’ll happily help to figure something else out, whether it’s fronting their bill or planning a different celebration.
Be honest with your friends, and remember, if money is involved, things are bound to get uncomfortable.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.