Experts Say People Who Are Excellent At Reading People Always Have These 6 Skills
People who can suss out someone's motives usually have these skills.
Getty Images | Unsplash We often wonder what the meaning behind people's actions is, especially when your gut is telling you something is wrong. Though we aren't magicians or fortune tellers, people who are excellent at reading people tend to have skills in interpreting other's body movements and mannerisms.
These indications usually tip them off about what could be lurking in someone's motives — and the good news is many of these teachings are learnable.
People who are excellent at reading people always have these skills:
1. They watch someone's eyes
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One telltale clue to watch for is if someone you're speaking with is avoiding eye contact. That lets you know they might be lying or at least hiding something from you.
A person's non-verbal communication is hard to fake and what can tip you off about a liar if you know the signs to look for.
— Ronnie Ann Ryan, Intuitive Coach and Past Life Reader
2. They pay attention to non-verbal clues
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A person's intentions and sentiments can be inferred a lot from their body language. Pay attention to nonverbal cues such as crossed arms (which could be interpreted as defensiveness), avoided eye contact (nervousness or dishonesty), direct eye contact (aggression or confidence), and posture (open posture can suggest openness and comfort, while closed posture can suggest the opposite).
— Sidhharrth S Kumaar, Astro Numerologist
To read body language and understand someone's intention, pay close attention to their facial expressions, posture, eye contact, gestures, and overall body orientation.
A 2019 study published in Frontiers in Psychology concluded these nonverbal cues can reveal their true feelings and level of engagement, whether they are interested, comfortable, anxious, or disengaged in the conversation or situation.
3. They can interpret tone of voice
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A person's speech pattern frequently reveals more about them than their actual words. A steady, quiet voice could indicate confidence, whereas speaking quickly and at a louder pitch could indicate anxiety or enthusiasm.
— Sidhharrth S Kumaar, Astronumerologist
4. They notice fidgeting or uncomfortable movement
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For example, someone who holds their body rigidly (arms folded, knees tightly together) is uncomfortable, perhaps fearful, of opening up to you. Jittering knees, feet, or hands, fidgeting, and inability to sit still spells anxiety.
Constantly fixing their hair or adjusting their clothes spells self-consciousness and insecurity. The inability to look into your eyes may mean shyness, self-consciousness, or fear of what you may see in their eyes.
We all 'speak' through our body language. Pay careful attention to someone and their bodies will reveal what their words may not.
— Dr. Gloria Brame, therapist, author
Body language can help us understand others and ourselves. It provides information about how people may feel and allows us to express emotions or intentions. However, there isn't always a one-size-fits-all solution for appropriate nonverbal cues.
A 2015 study published by Frontiers in Psychology concluded that by staying present and being respectful, you'll be well on your way to understanding how to use body language effectively.
5. They can read silent pauses
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During my time as a police officer, I went on to become a detective and received a few promotions.
That meant that I had to attend meetings — lots of them. The most influential people in those meetings were typically reserved and confident.
They weren’t loud or demanding. Confident people don’t need to be loud, and they don’t need to be the center of attention. They usually don’t bully or talk over others. Confidence is quiet, whereas insecurity never shuts up.
— Joshua Mason, former police detective and public safety leader
6. They observe the whites of someone's eyes
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A Proceedings of the National Academy of Science study has found that our eye whites communicate essential social cues that are key to our bonding and survival at a conscious and subconscious level. Healthy social and cognitive development relies on the ability of your brain to consciously and unconsciously interpret social cues held in the eye whites of others.
When we want to peer into the motives or intentions behind someone's actions, we can look for subtle signs in their behavior or actions. Of course, none of these tricks are absolute and guaranteed.
We need to keep in mind these indications can be due to differences in cultural norms, neurodiversity, past trauma, or other influences on social behavior.
Yet, when we have spent time with a person and know more about where they are coming from, these signs can be useful to gain insight for protecting ourselves.
Will Curtis is a creator, editor, and activist who has spent the last decade working remotely.