23-Year-Old Woman Asks Why Men Her Age Aren’t Dating — ‘This Is A Big Problem In Gen Z’
She noticed that men in her generation are choosing to be alone rather than date.
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock The difference between how older generations approached dating when they were young and how young adults in this current generation approach dating is exponentially different. This is mostly due to the ever-changing landscape, especially regarding social media and the emergence and popularity of many online dating apps, like Hinge, Tinder, and Bumble.
Despite how much easier it is to meet people by endlessly swiping and scrolling until your eyes start to cross, it's definitely not the preferred way young adults want to date.
This was only highlighted by a 23-year-old Reddit user who pointed out that she's noticed a weird trend among men her age when it comes to dating and their constant fear of rejection.
A young woman questioned why men her age aren't dating.
In her Reddit post, the woman explained that many of the men in her friend group aren't interested in dating. She claimed that she's known some of them since high school, and they don't fall under the category of Gen Z men who have turned conservative; they're not misogynistic, and most of them are extremely liberal-leaning.
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"They just aren't dating. From when they were in high school, to college, and now trying to begin a career... I am also sure if they have a chance at getting a girlfriend they would do it, yet they don't," she continued.
"My personal theory is they are scared of rejection, being seen as creeps, or maybe they don't think they are worth dating when I think they are. I think this is a big problem in Gen Z, we don't know how to date."
There seems to be a dating fatigue trend among Gen Zers that is exacerbated by online dating.
Over the last decade, online dating has surpassed any other avenue of meeting romantic prospects.
In the U.S., three in 10 adults have used a dating app, according to the Pew Research Center. In 2022, 45% of Americans who were single and dating used online dating platforms.
The complaints about dating apps tend to be never-ending, with users being forced to engage with bots, harassers, people who don't look like their photos, can't carry a conversation, or just simply end up ghosting you after a first date, or sometimes even before.
After spending years navigating the digital courtship world, many people, especially Gen Zers, feel emotionally detached from the idea of dating and have developed a discomfort with being able to approach someone face-to-face because it's no longer the norm.
Compared to Gen Z women, Gen Z men are not active participants in the dating scene.
A survey conducted by the Survey Center on American Life found that only 56% of Gen Z adults — and 54% of Gen Z men — said they were involved in a romantic relationship at any point during their teenage years. This is a significant change compared to previous generations, where teenage dating was much more common. More than three-quarters of Baby Boomers (78 percent) and Generation Xers (76 percent) reported having had a boyfriend or girlfriend as teenagers.
"The hyper-personalization of dating apps (and matches) might be both a cause and symptom of the anxiety with which many in Generation Z entered the dating sphere," Renee Yaseen wrote in an Op-Ed for The Washington Post.
Yaseen cited a Harris poll, the Singles in America Survey, published in February 2024, which found that 44% of Generation Z would rather clean a toilet than go on another online date, and 30% of Gen Zers agree with the statement "I would rather walk across hot coals than go on another online date."
The study also found that while 40% of Gen Z reported wanting to "date like penguins," having one partner for life, about 20% of people wanted to date like cats, allowing partners to come and go and not dating with serious intention.
While Gen Zers are more content with being single, especially because of dating fatigue, this generation is also extremely picky about who they're letting in their lives.
Whether Gen Z men aren't dating because of women refusing to put up with certain traits when they can just be single and at peace or because they join their counterparts in feeling dejected by online dating, one thing is clear: Dating is slowly becoming an anomaly.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.