57 Little Daily Check-Ins To Keep Your Mind Clear And Heart Happy, According To Research
Questions to ask yourself to figure out who you are and what you're meant for.
Fleur Kaan | Unsplash Self-reflection is the first step in learning how to love yourself. When you feel like your life is out of control, having daily-check ins to keep your mind clear and heart happy can help you stay on track.
We cannot control several external factors, such as sickness, unprecedented accidents, or time. We can control how we set our perspectives and how we view ourselves.
Most times, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to take a step back and reflect on our mental well-being. Ask yourself these self-reflection questions daily to ensure that your actions and thoughts truly reflect the kind of person you strive to be.
These questions will help you take a moment to reflect on your daily life to make sure that you are prioritizing yourself rather than losing yourself in the whirlwind of work and relationships.
Here are little daily check-ins to keep your mind clear and heart happy:
1. What would the highest version of yourself do?
The words ‘goals’ and ‘success’ can be defined in several different ways, and someone else’s idea of success may be the complete opposite of your idea of success. When you ask yourself this question, think of what the highest version of yourself is.
What kind of actions and thoughts does this person have? If the highest version of yourself means to be happy, what must you do to find happiness for yourself?
If becoming the highest version of yourself means something as simple as not buying $5 coffees every morning to save money for your future, then go ahead and do so. You have the power to define what the best version of yourself is.
We often think of happiness as a feeling we can achieve after finishing something. This goes the same for success too. Some naturally tend to believe that they are never successful enough in terms of comparing themselves to others.
Asking yourself this question should also inspire you to think of what your own happiness and success mean in your own terms. How have you progressed in your own terms to achieve happiness or success, and what can you do in the present to progress in the future?
Maybe you are completely satisfied with who you are and what you are doing in the present, and that’s completely OK. However, knowing there is always room to grow and progress can be a liberating mindset for people who feel like their life never goes how they want.
Envisioning and striving towards your highest self can boost motivation, self-efficacy, and overall well-being by fostering a sense of purpose and guiding your actions towards personal growth and fulfillment. A 2022 study explained that this concept aligns with Maslow's idea of self-actualization, the process of becoming everything one is capable of.
Of course, life is never perfect, but knowing that you have control over your thoughts and actions despite the world’s unpredictable nature is a huge step toward your individuality and self-development.
2. Do the things you do or people you spend time with make you happy?
Look Studio / Shutterstock
Regarding being accountable for our actions and relationships, we tend to blame external factors and other people for anything wrong.
We shouldn’t aim for the best version of ourselves to be people who always blame others and external factors for our unhappiness. Self-love is not an easy journey, but we can ask ourselves this simple question to start building our definition of happiness and self-love.
Take this small step to understand your intentions and reasons for doing something or being with a certain person. For example, if you feel like you always fall “victim” to toxic relationships, did you love yourself and put yourself first in these toxic situations? Or were you projecting your ‘people-pleaser’ tendencies?
You need to understand your intentions when being with someone and understand that your feelings are a huge indicator of whether something is good or bad for you.
Okay, maybe it’s hard to say that you love yourself when your boss assigns you a boring and time-consuming task. We can’t label everything that we don’t like as “toxic.”
Research consistently shows that prioritizing activities that bring joy and happiness significantly impacts overall well-being. This leads to improved mental health, stress reduction, and enhanced resilience, creativity, and problem-solving abilities. Caring for yourself is a never-ending journey so you can ask yourself this question daily and in every personal relationship.
3. What about yourself do you find the hardest to accept and love?
We all have our flaws. To love and care for yourself is to not only love the best part of yourself; self-love means to accept who you are, good and bad, completely. Once you realize what exactly about yourself you don’t like, you have the power to change it internally.
Maybe it’s hard to love that you are a submissive person or don’t know how to speak up for yourself. It’s completely OK. Not everyone is born with confidence and the ability to stand up for themselves. Instead, understand that your quiet and introverted self is not unconfident, but it’s understanding and intuitive.
Accepting who you are and knowing that your imperfections can be improved and loved is a huge step in your daily self-development. Think about it, even if you are unhappy with certain qualities about yourself, there are people out there who still love and accept you for who you are whether or not you do.
Research highlights the importance of self-awareness and acceptance, particularly identifying and accepting what feels hardest to accept about oneself, as a key to improved well-being and mental health. This process fosters a sense of coherence, allows for actions aligned with values, and can act as a buffer against negative experiences.
Your parents, friends, coworkers, and lover still accept you despite any quality you deem bad. If they don’t, you can stop seeking others’ approval or acceptance and accept yourself.
4. Are you choosing people who are also choosing you?
When it comes to putting your emotions and your opinion of yourself first, it’s hard to ignore our desire to seek approval and acceptance from others. We’re naturally inclined to be social beings and be accepted by others.
Whether in a relationship or a friendship, it’s important to know that putting your time and effort into these relationships is unnecessary.
You may pour all your emotions, love, effort, and time into a relationship, while the other person may not reciprocate. When this happens, understand that the other person is not obliged to reciprocate your efforts, but you are also not obliged to pour all of yourself into it.
What is no longer serving you in this relationship? Does this person deserve all of your efforts?
When you spend your energy on people who reciprocate your energy, the relationship has much more potential to grow and become fruitful. You cannot force anyone to give you their time and emotions when unwilling.
Once you understand what it means for someone to reciprocate your efforts, you will see how rewarding it is to focus your energy on loving yourself instead of always pouring yourself into empty relationships.
Think of relationships as a ‘give-and-take’ situation. What are you receiving from them when you give and pour so much into someone else?
Are you receiving love, pain, broken promises, or even clout? Once you stop focusing on a relationship that no longer serves you, you gain the time and energy to self-reflect and focus on yourself.
Give yourself the love and effort that you would give others. If you are the type of person to treat a lover with expensive gifts without ever receiving them yourself, it’s time to treat yourself with unconditional love that you never received.
Choosing people who reciprocate your affection and attention is crucial for building strong, fulfilling relationships and overall well-being. It fosters a sense of validation, security, and connection. A 2023 study concluded that focusing on people who reciprocate your affection can help avoid unhealthy relationships where one feels consistently unvalued or used.
5. How do you turn negative situations into something positive?
As mentioned before, the world’s uncontrollable nature makes it difficult to avoid negative situations. When faced with failure or negative situations, the real test of self-love is whether or not you can accept your failures and how you treat yourself during these times.
For example, suppose you were unemployed for six months because of the pandemic. In that case, it’s difficult to accept that the pandemic’s nature is out of your control because it’s severely affecting your life.
Every day, you go to LinkedIn, Glassdoor, Indeed, and any other job search engine to escape this situation. Instead of always wondering why you are not good enough, focus on the positive aspects of the situation.
Maybe this break from work is a sign that you need a break from the hectic work life. Maybe you needed this break to work on your passion and learn more skills. However bad a situation may seem, you can always focus on the positives of the situation and take advantage of it since you have no control over the negatives.
Focusing your attention on the positive aspects of a negative situation is one of the best things you can do for yourself. We all know how easy it is to fall victim to the negativity in the world.
At the same time, it’s difficult to find positivity — staying positive and finding things to be grateful for every day, no matter what, is a characteristic that requires a lot of self-reflection and a strong mental state. Reframing negative experiences into positive ones can enhance well-being, resilience, and motivation, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling life.
Psychologists suggest that humans naturally focus on negative information, as this helped our ancestors survive by alerting them to potential threats. Use this question to avoid the world's negativity and focus your energy on what you can do in dire situations.
6. How would you describe your relationship with yourself in one word?
Renko Aleks / Shutterstock
This question can help you understand where you are at in your self-love journey. Can you say your relationship with yourself is positive, growing, flourishing, or loving? Or would you say it is negative, hateful, pitiful, and toxic?
Knowing where you place yourself on the scale of how you view yourself indicates how much internal work is ahead of you.
When self-reflecting, be mindful of how you view your thoughts, actions, and feelings. Does your mindset reflect the kind of self-love you strive to achieve?
Your relationship with yourself should come first about your external relationships with others. If you don’t love yourself, then how will you love others?
Only someone who loves and accepts themselves can add more love and positivity to someone else’s life. Relationships usually do not end well for those who become dependent on others for their happiness and self-love.
A healthy relationship would consist of two loving people who have done the internal work on themselves to know that they are responsible for their happiness, each to his own.
Research highlights the crucial role of understanding and cultivating a positive relationship with oneself. It emphasizes that self-awareness, acceptance, and connection are essential for overall well-being, mental health, and healthy relationships with others.
A positive self-relationship fosters healthier relationships by allowing individuals to approach interactions with greater self-awareness and authenticity. Both people know that their self-confidence, love, and success come not from another person but from within themselves.
7. Do your actions reflect the type of person you would want to be around?
Instead of always blaming others for broken relationships or negative situations, take the time to reflect on your actions.
Are you acting how you want others to act? In other words, reevaluate your actions according to The Golden Rule, “Treat others how you want to be treated.”
When taking responsibility for your actions, you also acknowledge that the way others treat you is by how you treat others. Now, how does this relate to your journey of self-love and care?
Your actions affect both you and others around you. Regarding your external relationships, others will treat you positively if your actions are positive. When it comes to yourself, your actions will reflect how much you love yourself and how you choose to put yourself in certain situations with others.
Changing your actions according to the type of person you want to be or the type of people you want to be surrounded by will attract people with the same values. Don’t sell yourself short; ask yourself this question to understand how your actions affect you and others.
Aligning actions with one's values and desired self-image is essential, as consistent behavior fosters self-respect and positive relationships. Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) explains that reflecting on actions helps individuals develop a stronger sense of authenticity and self-awareness.
Whether it be an action towards yourself or someone else, your actions speak louder than words when it comes to practicing self-love. What you do is more important than what you say because actions produce results, while words can become empty promises.
Here are some more daily check-ins to keep your mind clear and heart happy:
8. If you could change anything about yourself, what would that be?
9. What do you value?
10. What are your goals for the next 5 years?
11. What is your dream career?
12. What are your hobbies?
13. Who is your greatest influence?
14. What is your deepest fear?
15. What keeps you going each day?
16. How do you relax after a stressful day?
17. Who can you trust with your deepest secrets?
18. Where did you learn to love?
19. When are you at your best?
20. What makes you smile?
21. What makes you angry?
22. What is your best feature?
23. Do you have a self-care routine?
24. How do you begin and end your day?
25. When was the last time you took time off?
26. What goals have you achieved within the last 3 years?
27. Do you know who you are?
28. What can you not live without?
29. Is your relationship bringing out your best?
30. Do you seek validation from others?
31. What is your love language?
32. What dream have you given up on?
33. What about the future scares you the most?
34. Do you feel connected to your inner child?
35. How was your childhood?
36. Do you have a solid support system?
Jacob Lund / Shutterstock
Name those people
37. Do you know how to combat negative self-talk?
38. What would you be doing right now if you had no limitations?
39. How do you recharge at the end of the week?
40. What do you do in your spare time?
41. What was the last accomplishment that you celebrated?
42. Do you have a budget and if so, do you stick to it?
43. Are you maximizing your time at this moment?
44. Would you go against your values and beliefs for love?
45. Are you in control of your life?
46. What are 3 things you need right now to be fulfilled?
47. Do you know how to receive compliments?
48. What advice would you give your younger self?
49. How is your relationship with your family?
50. What is the most important relationship in your life?
51. Do you believe you are a toxic person?
52. Is there anyone in your life that you hold resentment for?
53. Do you know how to express your emotions?
54. Is there anyone that you wish you could speak to one last time?
55. What are you taking for granted in your life?
56. How can you show gratitude daily?
57. What can you change to be your best self every day?
These questions are essential to your journey to self-development, which aims to inspire self-reflection and small changes to your thoughts or actions. You have the option to choose to be happy.
This is something to celebrate once you start doing the internal work. Choose to be happy and choose to love yourself. A moment of self-reflection daily is all it takes to become the highest version of yourself.
Use these questions to start flourishing and accepting yourself for who you are because if you don’t, then who will? Daily life may seem mundane and repetitive, but changing your mindset with these 7 self-reflection questions should help you break certain periods of feeling stuck or lost.
Once you become accustomed to asking yourself these questions, your thoughts and actions will eventually reap the benefits of all the internal work you have been doing.
Rachell Lee is a writer who covers relationships, pop culture, and self-development topics.