Dad Questions If He Made The Right Decision After Leaving The Hospital To Sleep At Home After His Wife Just Gave Birth
"I feel really bad about it, but I wouldn't be able to sleep at all."
WeAre | Shutterstock A husband questioned if he made the right decision following the arrival of his and his wife's second baby. Although he assured his wife he would stay with her at the hospital overnight, he reneged on his promise for health reasons of his own.
The dad questioned if he made the right decision after leaving the hospital to sleep at home because of his back problems.
"My wife was admitted to hospital for an induction of our second child. She had a rough time during her first pregnancy, as it was during Lockdown," he wrote in a Reddit post. "I was not allowed to stay during [the last] time, so she asked that I stay each night with her during this pregnancy."
He explained that his wife was anxious so he promised to stay with her during the night for support.
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When the day came to deliver the baby, the two of them arrived at the hospital in the early morning hours. The labor progressed quite slowly, so the mom-to-be told her husband to go home for the time being.
He returned to the hospital later in the day before heading back home to rest and spend time with their 5-year-old daughter, who had been staying with his parents.
Eventually, he received a phone call from his wife. "She thought she was in labor but didn't think the staff were taking her seriously," he wrote. "I rushed up to the ward, baby was born 3 hours later via an emergency c-section."
After welcoming their second child into the world, he and his wife were moved around and eventually settled in a new ward. Exhausted, he took a short nap on the couch, waking up throughout the night to tend to the baby.
Due to a health complication, the family was then moved to another ward where their baby could be observed.
Unfortunately, their new setup did not have a pull-out bed for the man to sleep on.
"They have signs all over the ward saying that partners are not allowed to share the bed [or] sleep on the floor," he added. "I asked if they had a similar chair to the one in the other ward and I was told no."
Due to his chronic lower back pain, the man decided that he couldn't stay overnight.
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"I feel really bad about it, but I wouldn't be able to sleep at all, and sitting in the chair would just further screw up my back," he admitted. "Then I'd be of no use the next day without sleep and with back pain."
Before he left, the man set up everything for his wife so that she wouldn't have to walk around or get out of bed. "I spoke to the staff and told them how anxious she is and that she'd need extra help," he added, "and told my wife to ask for help when she needed it."
He returned as soon as the hospital doors opened the next morning. Still, he questioned if he was wrong to leave his wife.
Commenters assured the man that he was not wrong and urged him to take care of his own health.
"There’s a reason why on planes they instruct you to put on your oxygen mask first and then help your child," one user wrote. "If you are not safe/well/rested you cannot take of anyone properly."
"Both of you draining yourselves when there was help available is silly," another commenter added. "When your wife comes home with the baby from the hospital, you need to be as rested as possible to help your wife who just had a literal human surgically removed from her body and care for your children."
While his wife went through painful labor and delivery with their child, that doesn't negate his discomfort. Muscle and joint pain are no joke and sleeping in an uncomfortable position can have negative effects, as does not sleeping at all.
"I wouldn't dare dream to compare the pain," he wrote in a comment. "But I also know that If I'd stayed I wouldn't have been able to function the next day."
Welcoming a new baby requires energy and rest. His choice to go home doesn't demonstrate neglect, but rather a practical decision that ultimately benefited him, his wife, and their newborn baby.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.